


Knocking On Heaven's Door

by AngelSariel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Blood Drinking, Blood Play, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Demon deal, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, F/M, Kidnapped!Cas, Light Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy issues, Rough Sex, Sam' s meddling, Sariel the retriever, Slow Burn, Tablets, Top Cas, Top Dean, Vampire!Cas, Wing Kink, acceptance of feelings, angel!cas - Freeform, birth scene, canon divergence - A Little Slice of Kevin, love making, post purgatory, pregnancy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-01-24 22:55:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 54,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1619966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelSariel/pseuds/AngelSariel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Castiel appears out of Purgatory, Sam knows that the same uncomfortable sexually repressed atmosphere returned too. He also knows that the only way to fix it is to force Dean to see it.<br/>But would any of them have have guessed that Sam's meddling would have led them here?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before we get started, this has MPEG in it. If you are uncomfortable or don't like it, please leave now. Everyone else, enjoy.
> 
> Cas is back and with him all of his and Dean's sexual tension. Here comes Sam to the rescue.
> 
> Side not, Dean may seem a little OOC. But it may come the fact that he hasn't gotten anyone that he's dated long-term pregnant. So please take it in stride.

Sam sat at the table beside Dean in the hotel room. They were discussing who or what could have pulled Castiel out of Purgatory. The water running in the bathroom had been shut off, leaving the brothers to lower their tones. They knew that Cas could probably still hear them, but they wanted to at least muffle it as much as possible.  
The nightmares of his time in Purgatory replayed in Dean’s mind. Images flashed before his eyes of Cas desperately reaching for him and himself failing to hang on. It brought a sickening feeling riddling across his body. His heart broke every time he remembered that look of disappointment and sorrow in the angel’s eyes.  
The feeling of freshly washed skin and clean clothing brought Cas a grounded sense of reality. As he exited the bathroom, that desire for repentance and a second chance crept into his mind. This time would be different. This time he would change things and for the better. Seeing Sam and Dean again, however, pushed that desire aside for a sense of home and remember better times. Times and feelings that brought a smile to his face.  
The movement of the bathroom door and the body emerging from it caused Dean's attention to be drawn over. Sam caught the motion of his brother’s head and looked over at Cas as well. But, out of the corner of his eye, he also caught Dean clinching his fist and readjusting his jeans. He was discreetly pushing the heel of his hand down into his groin. The sexual tension that seemed to be radiating from Dean was shone like a spotlight in the dark. Sam really didn’t want to go through the staring and the awkward silences again. And he did wanted to say something, but now was not the time.  
“Better?” Cas asked, presenting his appearance to the Winchesters.  
Sam smiled at Cas, as a show of approval, then glanced at Dean. The hunter simply sat there, shifting in his chair and staring with his mouth opened. When he caught the guise of the younger Winchester, he pried his eyes away from the freshly polished angel to replace it with the floor. All the emotions and memories were bombarding him at the same time and his head spun.  
Lust and sorrow, need and remorse. The internal conflict was maddening. Outwardly, though, he tried to keep any emotion muted against his mind. He failed, however.  
Mustering a gawking stare at Cas, shortening of breath, heightening of his senses, and quickening pulse. A quick smile and a slight nod was the only approval to Cas Dean could work out. Sam played stupid at Dean’s predicament. He played it off with a smile and a head shake.  
The demons were procuring victim after victim, without any rhyme or reason and they had no idea where Kevin was at or if he was even alive. So the time to mend fences and handle emotions was best left for another time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam sets about enacting his plan. Will he get his brother to pull his head out of his ass and make a move?

When they had Kevin and his mom safely tucked away with the demon tablet; the tension, both sexual and emotional, became more then what Sam cared to handle. Dean needed Cas and Cas needed Dean. And that need, that raw desire to have everything be okay, all be it temporary; was what pushed Sam to fix the problem.   
Because Sam knew that Dean was going to be opposed to dealing with anything feelings related, Sam decided to get his brother sated first. Food was the best way to do that. So, Sam left Dean and headed down to a local burger joint. When he got back, he found Dean sprawled across his bed, watching whatever game show was on at that point. He honestly expected it to be on one of the porn channels, so not finding that was a plus. The uncertainty of the can of worms he was about to open was electrifying his skin, causing it to break out in a mild sweat. But he knew with Dean, if something wasn’t thrown right in his face, he would never admit to it. Dean approached the table and began rummaging through, extracting the food cartons within.   
“’Bout time. I was getting’ ready to chew one of my own legs off.” The wrappers of the cheeseburger and fries rustled as they were being removed from the gooey and delicious edibles within. Dean flopped back down on the bed and smiled as he took an over ambitious bite out of his sandwich. His eyes closed as he savored the rich flavor. It was the simple things that he took the most joy in.   
“Well, if you do, I’m not going to carry your ass around,” Sam smirked as he pulled his salad out of the bag. Seeing that Dean was content with his food, Sam decided to seize the moment. “I haven’t seen Cas in a few days. Is everything good between you two?” His brow furrowed at the question.   
“Yeah,” Dean said, desperately trying to avoid his brother’s probing stare. “Why wouldn’t be? Guy’s probably running around healing the sick or some kind of do goody angel crap.”  
“After everything with Purgatory and this whole demon tablet thing, I would figure you two would at least hang out so that you could bitch about me not saving you.” Sam knew he was getting to Dean. He could at least read that from his body language.   
The underlining message of Sam’s exploratory conversation caused Dean to shift uneasily in his seat. The touchy feely crap always did. To keep things in the sphere of neutrality, he needed to play dumb. He didn't want to give anything away. Discussing anything that had to do with his sex life with his brother actually made him want to throw up. But the time spent in Purgatory forced Dean to acknowledge his feelings and longings that he had only just suppressed or wrote off. He needed time and he needed Sam to shut up. “I couldn’t imagine going through something like that. The bond that would needed to be formed to survive.” A deliberate poke. Getting Dean mad would open him up and, from his body language and sudden launch to standing, that jab was enough.   
“Sam, what the hell do you know? You took a year off, to play house with this Amelia chick, while Cas and I were fighting for our lives. Do you know what that’s like? To go through every day, blooded and exhausted? To never know if some fang or some claw will succeed in ganking you while you piss?” He paused as the memories slammed into him like hurricane waves attacking an ocean laden ship. He inhaled deeply before continuing. “So, before you start trying to sympathizing with us, just stop.” His anger at Sam’s lack of responsibility over the last year saturated thick through his words, leaving a bitter burn on his tongue. It was even more torrid since Sam seemed to be really drilling into him and Cas’s relationship. “Besides, why do you care?”   
Sam took a deep breath. The sting of Dean’s barrage brought a hesitant measure to his actions but, if he was going to help fix the mistakes of the past, he needed to press forward. He wasn’t going to let some angry words and Dean’s gruff demeanor stop him from achieving his goal. The food was pushed aside as the younger Winchester gathered his words and thoughts.   
“Dean, you’re never going to outwardly admit to it and that’s fine. But your body gives you away.”   
Dean was becoming even more livid and uncomfortable with each passing sentence. He looked out the window, avoiding any possible eye contact that he could. He wished he had gone drinking like he wanted to earlier, save himself this headache. He grabbed a beer and began swigging it. “Dean, I saw you that day that Cas came back. You were basically putting up a neon sign saying you were wanting to fuck him.” Enough games, straight to the point. Dean’s beer suddenly made a reappearance as he began coughing it up.   
“Son of a bitch! Don’t hold anything back, Sam!”   
“You got a little,” Sam punctuated by a slight laugh, “tight.” More coughing from Dean. It was times like this he wished he was an only child. He tried to hide the blush that was radiating from his face.   
“Now, you want to be subtle.” Dean grabbed his jacket from his chair. He had to get out there. The longer he stayed, the more time he had to forcibly face his emotions. But Sam was quick to cut of Dean’s path to the door.   
“Dean, its alright. You don’t have to feel weird.”   
“Really, Sammy. Cause this is bad touching me all over the place.” He tried to pull the door but, with all of Sam’s weight in front of it, it didn’t budge. Despite being the little brother by age, the weight and weight that Sam had over Dean made it rather difficult to over power him. “Sam, move!”   
“I will in a minute. Just hear me out.” Dean knew he could just shoot his brother in the leg, but it wasn’t going to stop him. Once Sam got on his emotions roll, it was easier just to nod and smile than try and fight it. “Dean, I’m not as oblivious as you think. You hide it, you push it down and away; tying to be the emotionless rock you’ve always been. But anyone who spends more than two minutes around you and Cas can see it.” Sam smirked at the shock on Dean’s face at the not so startling revelation that everyone knew his secret. “You’ll never say it, because it’s not who you are. But, Dean, you love him. And you have an open chance for happiness, to be close to someone for more than just sex. Something you never let yourself have. I want you to know that you can have that. I won’t stand in your way. I want you to be happy. And, apart from me, Cas is your whole world, so don’t tell me you don’t care. I know better. Just tell him.”   
Dean had had enough brutal honesty. He turned his back on Sam and walked away. His blood pressure sky rocketed and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to slug his brother or hug him. But he knew one thing.   
“Sam, I’m not gay. And even if I was, it’s Cas. I’m pretty sure that humans are not on the dating card for angels. You know 'mud monkeys' and all. And defiling an angel, I’m pretty sure, is a smitable offense.” Instantly he knew he should have stopped one sentence ago by the change in Sam's expression. His eyes closed in self annoyance.   
“So, you do want to defile him?” Sam asked with a devilish grin.   
“Shut up Sam. I’ve heard you out. Now let me go.” He tried to pass, but Sam wouldn’t let him. “Sam, move.” Now it was more frustration at being confined that annoyance.   
“I’m not done yet.” A tone of dominance. “This is nothing to do with sexual orientation. You just feel safer hiding behind it, out of fear of rejection or feeling like you don’t deserve it. But did it ever dawn on you that maybe Cas feels the same way?” Sam was right. Dean was busy being wrapped up in his own misgivings and self-loathing that he just expected that he would simply suffer in silence. There was no way Cas would want someone as broken as Dean. “Dean, just talk to him. You owe him at least that.” Sam moved from the door. “You’ll see that I’m right.”   
“Sam, how do you know any of this?” Sam threw him a solid bitch face. Like the answer wasn’t obvious.   
“Really Dean? You two take each other apart with your eyes, you get really sweaty and short of breath when he's around, he always comes when you call. When you call, not me. For fuck's sake Dean, you both have risked your lives for each other. And,” he paused, “you talk in your sleep. You're pretty detailed when it comes to Cas.” He sheepishly raised his eyebrows at his brother's horror at this revelation. “But I do know that Cas feels the same way and he's just as scared and nervous about it as you are. So put aside your bullshit and take charge, like you've done my whole life. I guarantee you, you will not be rejected.” Saying his peace, he settled in and began eating, as though nothing had happened. If there was one that really worked with Dean, it was shock and awe.   
Dean stood at the door, hand on the knob, fighting the fight or flight urge. He knew Sam was right, but that didn't make it any easier. His stomach hurt, his eyes burned, and his chest felt constricted. The flight urge won out and he left the room without a word. He didn't usually take walks, but he needed the frigid night air to pull him out of the apparent panic attack he was presently having.   
As the younger Winchester sat munching on his lettuce, a smirk crossed his lips. The glory of winning was so sweet, and when you add that to a hopefully less sexually tensioned environment, Sam couldn't help but feel like he had hit the jackpot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. As always, kudos and comments welcome. Love hearing feedback. And remember, stay tuned. Things get serious and smutty in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas deal with the trauma of Purgatory. And their own internal conflicts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut. Smut and wing kink. Smut and wing kink and emotion. Enjoy.

Days were passing like they always did. They would run off on a hunt or go and check on Kevin and his mom, bringing them supplies or whatever they needed. The issue was allowed to pass, but not entirely forgotten. It was best that the seed be given time to grow before throwing it into the flame.   
Cas still was a no show and Dean couldn't say that he was too broken up about it, despite the aching desire to know that he was alright. He was still keeping in contact with Benny from time to time, despite Sam's rather heated words on the issue, and was relieved to find that he was keeping his nose clean. The vampire was laying low and blending in the best that he could. They talked momentarily about Sam, but when Benny brought up the topic of Cas, Dean emotions threatened to rip him apart. He quickly ended the conversation, telling Benny to call him if he needed anything. Benny said he would. Then, as though the world was set up to cause Dean's head to explode, Benny added that Dean shouldn't be so afraid to have someone that he cares for and that he should open his eyes to see what's staring him right in the face. Dean just waved off his words, thanking him absently, and hung up. The universe was truly trying to kill him.   
Sam had himself comfortable on the scratchy, cheap motel sheets. Dean, meanwhile, was in the bathroom, relieving himself from the long drive. His mind hadn't stopped pacing from the confusion of his emotions. But when he opened the door to find Cas standing directly in front of it, everything came to a screeching halt. His heart raced, his whole body ached and his lungs behaved as if they were drowning. His mind immediately screamed for Cas, but he roughly pulled together his most convincing poker face that he could muster.   
Sam seized the opportunity, launching himself off the bed and grabbing for his jacket. Dean's face abruptly changed from surprise to absolute terror when he realized what his brother was doing.   
“I think I'm going to head down to one of the bars in town.” He whipped the jacket over his back and reached for the Impala's keys. “Got a sudden hankering for a good bottle of ale. Think I'll leave you two to talk.”   
“Sam, you-” Dean spat out before he was cut off by the sound of the door closing. “Son of a bitch” came whispering form Dean's lips before he even knew it. He looked back at Cas before walking past the statuary angel, to the bag of beer bottles sitting on the kitchenette counter. “Want a beer?”   
“No. Thank you.” Cas turned to look at the worldly hunter. “Dean, why was I called if Sam left? I was in the middle of repentance” His brow furrowed at the disruption in his plans. Dean shook his head at Cas's question. Sam set this up. He was going to kick his ass.   
“Apparently Sammy seems to think that we need to have a knitting circle and chat about our fond memories of Purgatory.” Dean swigged the beer while he was mentally strangling that part of him that was asking what it would be like to run his hand along the side of that innocent face, to feel the rough and stubble skin make contact with his own.   
“Do you wish to discuss Purgatory, Dean?” There was that naive, yet caring expression that brought a pang of hurt to Dean. The flash of the last few moments before the portal closed sent Dean into a self contained, aggravated fit. He left him behind, left him alone.   
He tried to dismiss the memories; yet with each glimpse at Cas's face, the only thing that he could see were those once bright, shining blue eyes pleading with him to be saved. Now those same eyes were dulled and listless, tired from the trials of the world and pleading for rest. Even though he knew that he would never receive it, and that haunted Dean.   
“Yeah Cas, maybe I do.” The rage and raw hatred at himself escaped into his words without Dean even realizing it had happened. “What the hell happened? I told you I would get you out. We were right there and it was like you just gave up. Like you believed that it wasn't going to work and you gave up. Did you not trust me?” He didn't wait for an answer, instead he slammed the bottle into the sink of the kitchenette, shattering it. “I did everything I could to get you out,” he turned and faced Cas. “ I did not leave you!”   
It wasn't until then that the pain from his bleeding hand, where he had dug his fingernails into the palm. The pain was mild compared to the fury that was raging in his belly from the look on the angel's face. While the hunter was unsettled and a pit of raw emotion, Castiel stood calm and peaceful. It was if the whole time that they spent in the wasteland meant nothing, just a trip of the beaten path.   
“You think that this was your fault?” Cas stepped forward. His eyes squinted and his head tilted, flashing that distinguished look of confusion that was so characteristic of Cas. Dean was taken back by the way in which Cas was so secretive, yet explaining everything in his body language.   
“Dean, you didn't leave me. It was not your responsibility to take care of me and it wasn't your responsibility to take care of me in Purgatory.”  
“It was my fault that you didn't make it out.” Dean turned his back to the angel and forced the tears from his eyes. He couldn't stand to see the blue eyes drilling into his soul; it was almost as though they were implanting more guilt into him than what he already had. “Look, I don't need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I've failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don't need it!”   
“Dean, you stupid, stubborn son of a bitch!” Cas yelled out. He rushed at Dean and pinned him to the pillar that stood between the separation of the rooms. It knocked the wind out out the hunter's lungs, as a sudden flash of the beating that Cas had given him when he was going to say yes to Micheal snapped into his brain. He knew that if he had pissed Cas off like that again, he was going to need more whiskey and another visit to the office to pay for the damages. “Why do you think that its always your job to save everyone? Sometimes you can 't save them. I didn't want to be saved. I was turning away from you so that I could stay and serve my penance. I believed that with everything I had done on Earth, in Heaven, killing my brothers; I deserved it!” He grabbed Dean's collar and slammed him harder against the cracking pillar. “And you wanted to take that away!” he bite through his teeth. “ You don't trust me. You don't think that after eons in existence that I can handle myself and make my own decisions. That I need to constantly run to the great Dean Winchester to save me from everything, like a simpering child.”   
“Cas, I-”   
“No, Dean. It's my turn to speak. I have spent millennia watching mankind and I never believed that it would amount to much more than hairless apes walking around, causing strife and bloodshed. held out hope though. Hope that when a good and Righteous man would come around, that he would be able to see past the arrogance and the pride of human ego and accept the wisdom of the angels. Because despite our pettiness at times, we still have infinity more wisdom then the whole of man.   
“And when that man finally presented himself, bound to Hell for his selflessness, when you presented yourself; I gave. I gave my whole being to save you. From Hell, from my own brothers, from yourself. I gave myself utterly for you and you never give for me. You never trust me, you never bend for me. Dean Winchester, the martyr for the world, except for the one being that would give his very essence for him.   
“I may have made my mistakes, and I'm willing to admit that I am not a prefect being, but the biggest mistake that I made was thinking that you would ever see me as anything more then just a simple minded fool. That you would ever want me outside of being a weapon.” He released Dean's collar and the hunter's racked body slid down onto his feet. “But, yet again, I was wrong.” He turned to walk away, before Dean reached out pleadingly and grabbed the sleeve of the tan trench coat.   
“Cas, wait.” The angel faced Dean and those once blue eyes were now reddened with the tears and anguish he was holding back. Dean knew that the last straw of Cas's loyalty was about to break, if it hadn't already, and he needed to save it. Cause there was no apocalypse, no war in Heaven, no life and death. Nothing that would hold Cas to him, not anymore. The thought that this could be the last time that he ever saw the angel sickened him, it burned a hole straight through his heart and made him want to sell his soul all over again to see that never happen.   
“Dean, I can't”  
“Yes, yes you can. Damn it, I am so sorry. You know me, and you know that I don't beg. But I'm here and I am begging you. You can't leave. You can't throw me away. I couldn't take it, you would truly kill me. I wouldn't survive it. Everyone I have ever relied on in my life has thrown me away. I'm just a grunt and I never expected anyone, defiantly not an angel, to see me as anything more then disposable.   
“And you're right, I'm stupid and I'm arrogant. I'm a grade A asshat. But you make me better then that. I didn't believe, I didn't have faith. Not in god, not in heaven, and not in angels. So to have one waltz into my life, I was skeptical. But you made me believe. You Cas, not those dicks you call brothers. You. And I still don't believe in god or any of that crap, but I believe in you. I'm sorry that I ever made you feel like you were less than you are. I pulled you down and pushed you away because there was no way that a being like you could ever see anything in someone as fucked up as me that was worth anything.   
“You are not a tool, a weapon,” He cupped Cas face in his hands, blue eyes meeting their green counterparts. “Castiel, you and Sam are the only things that keeps me sane, the things that gotten me through everything of the last four years, the beings that makes me strive to be better, in your eyes. Cas, its you man. It's always been you, it always will be you.” The feeling of the weight being lifted from his chest brought Dean a new sense of being. His eyes opened wider, seeing everything in a new light.   
The silence that permeated the room was deafening. It brought a feeling of dread straight down into Dean's soul. Maybe that wasn't what Cas wanted, maybe he just wanted Dean to agree, to make things easier. Dean parted his lips, drawing in a labored breath, as the angel before him blinked at the new found honesty coming from the hunter. His speechlessness pushed forward a urgent desire in Dean to fix it, to make it all just so much better.   
Lunging forward, Dean pushed his lips into Cas's. The kiss was strong, yet gentle. It was momentary, just a stone to test the waters. When he pulled away, he half expected to see Cas furious but instead he found the vibrant sapphire eyes blown with the pulses of lust. Cas didn't move. He only stood watching the hunter, unsure what was an appropriate response. His eyes and the tense muscles on his face subconsciously begged for Dean to repeat the gesture. Dean was more than happy to comply.   
Again, their lips met. Only this time it was tender and loving. Dean's lips invited Cas in for more. He wanted him to know that it was alright. It was alright to kiss him, to touch him, to care about him, to love him. But Dean's invitation was not solely for Cas. It was also the last wall that Dean needed to break in order to completely admit the feelings that he had for his guardian.   
Cas clasp one hand on the back of Dean's head while the other fumbled as it made its way up his shirt. It brushed across the sensitive nub of Dean's nipple. A sultry moan escaped from the hunter's lips before his ran his tongue on Cas's bottom lip, pleading for entry. When Cas relented, the heat of Dean's tongue found its equal. Messaging, wet, wanting; neither was willing to let the other go. The angel continued to tease and rub the sensitive nipple before Dean had had enough. He pried his jacket off, tossing it uncaring on the floor, and ripping his shirt over his head.   
Their lips meet again in a hungry and heated kiss. Dean wanted to feel the warm flesh chest of his lover against his own. His hands found their way under both of Cas's coats and slid them down and off of his arms. Not wanting to take the time to undo all the annoying buttons on the crisp white dress shirt, Dean simply ripped it apart and sent a cascade of plastic thuds along the tiled floor. The angel whimpered at the new found heat pressed against his skin. It was somehow fulfilling. Like it was always supposed to be there.   
Dean took hold of Cas's hips, guiding him over to his bed, while Cas had his fingers entwined in dirty blonde hair of the righteous man. His heart was beating so loud he could hear it in his ears, but he didn't care. His entire being, body and soul, danced with the new founded freedom. Being open with himself. Being together with Cas, having him accept him without any hesitation. His heart could burst out of his chest right now and he wouldn't care. He wouldn't give this up for anything.   
Cas shifted his hips, rutting his erection into Dean's hips. The new found friction cause him to mewl, and that sent waves of enjoyment soaring through Dean. He tried to gently lay Cas down, failing miserably and causing the half naked angel to unceremoniously flop onto the mattress. The angel chuckled at his folly. Dean could be boy-like at times.   
“You okay?” Dean asked, his voice ragged and lust filled, yet concerned.   
“Dean, I am not easily broken.” That gritty voice, so steady and calm. “ But, I would break for you.” And those same lecherousness that had the pupils of ocean blue eyes blown only moments ago was momentarily washed aside by a singular look of pure love and trust. It drove straight to Dean's soul. He reached down and brought Cas in for another long, passionate kiss. He tried to put all of the emotions that he couldn't bring himself to say out loud into that one kiss, hoping that Cas would feel the same. But when he pulled away, a whine came from the flushed being. Desire had claimed him again.   
“I know that I've been a real asshole to you in the past and I don't want to hurt you. But I have to ask before we go any further. Do you want this? Do you want me? ” His emerald eyes dug deep into Castiel, searching out any doubt that could be hiding within him, despite his own nervousness.   
“All that I have ever done has been for you. I don't understand why you still doubt me or doubt yourself. Believe that I speak the truth when I say, I need you.” Dean ensnared the angel's lips in another fervent kiss. He had never been so happy or relieved to hear anything in his entire life. It brought a surge straight from his very soul. Never in his life had anyone, outside of Sam, who didn't just want Dean as something to use and abuse, a disposable life. But the sheer and pure notion that Cas didn't see him like that, was willing to take or give anything for Dean, and accepted him unbiasedly overwhelmed him. He fought back the burn of tears from his eyes.   
Reaching gingerly underneath Cas's hips, he used all of his skill to change places with him and have him draped across him. Cas got a sudden surge of confidence with his new top position. He captured Dean's mouth in a fiery kiss, tongue demanding and gaining entry into Dean's mouth. Their tongues wrestled for dominance, as Cas grabbed fist fulls of the hunter's sweat soaked hair. He thrust his hips hard down against their equals. The friction caused both men to throw their heads back, relishing in the pleasure of it all.   
“Damn it Cas, you keep doin' that and we're gonna be done before we get to fun part.” Dean propped himself up and smiled at Cas. He loved seeing him like this, undone and animalistic.   
“Please Dean, I've never experienced anything like this before. I need more. I need you.” Cas was panting. He nibbled softly and sucked on Dean's earlobe. “Please.” The whine he loudly unleashed sent shivers up Dean's spine. He bit his lip to drive off the fuming orgasm that threatened to attack that very instant.   
“You've never begged like that before. You're so sexy when you beg.”   
“I want you. Dean, please let me have you.” That gritty voice was now dripping with arousal and desperation. He ground his hips down again and received a deep throated growl from his captive lover.   
“Alright there, babe. You can have all of me and then some. But you have to do something for me first.” Dean peppered the angel's bare neck with whispered kisses. He could feel him melt into each kiss as if he needed them for his very survival.   
“ Anything.” A pant. “Anything for you.” Dean cupped Cas face.   
“Look at me.” The luminous azure blue eyes lazily opened, casting a soft, white light onto the younger man. This was only a touch of Cas's true power and it was intoxicating. Dean was hypnotized by the power that the angel of the lord was showing. It was times like this that Dean was reminded that Cas was a powerful angel, a being capable of laying waste to entire towns and killing demons with a simple touch. “Castiel, I want you to open your wings. I want to see them.”   
Cas hesitated. He knew that the soft glow he was radiating wasn't going to hurt Dean. He was only using it in the same way that a bird might use its brightly colored plumage to attract a mate. But to expose his wings, that could open a highly dangerous door. And in his aroused state, he didn't know if he had the stable frame of mind to be able and restrain the rest of his true form in the vessel.   
“Dean, I...I don't know if I can. I don't want to risk the chance of hurting you.” He ran his hand down the side of Dean's face. “I don't want to loose you again.” His voice was actually quiet and shaky; his nervousness leaked through.   
“I trust you Cas. And I know that you won't hurt me. Now, feathers, out with them.”   
Cas nodded. He straightened his posture as two enormous appendages emerged from behind him. The mammoth, black feathered wings filled the room. The cramped space meant that they couldn't open to their full size and impressiveness. The feathers flashed with hints of luminescent greens radiating out from the black center veins. They fluttered with every movement Cas made.   
He was quiet proud of the starstruck look on Dean's face at the image he was presenting. Dean couldn't stop staring. The shadows that Cas threw in the darkness, the outlines of these magnificent wings, were second fiddle to the real thing. They were beautiful. The individual feathers seem to dance for him. His own private show. Dean slide his hips out from underneath Cas.   
“Cas, they're beautiful.” In all of his years, with everything that he had seen, Dean had never witnessed anything like them. He wanted to run his hands along each and every feather, to feel them wrapped around his fingers. But as he stretched his hand out to do just that, a thought dawned on mine and he pulled back. “Is it, can I touch them?”  
Cas wasn't sure that was a good idea either. Angel's wings are excessively erogenous, the most intimate part. Only mates touched another's wings and that was between angels. The prospect of a human touching an angel's wings, unaware of their sensitivity and their preciousness; Cas wasn't exactly jumping at that prospect, even when that human was Dean. But he did trust Dean, and he knew that Dean wouldn't willingly cause him harm.   
“Alright.” He paused and drew in a long, deep breath. “Be careful.”   
Dean understood the warning and complied to the best of his ability. He stood up, leaving Cas kneeling on the bed, and when around behind him. He wanted to see the entire package. He swept his hand across the rows of opalescent midnight feathers. Each tiny touch scent shock waves of pleasure rippling over the angel's body. Dean saw how each caress pushed him farther and deeper into a ecstasy induced trance. Each moan, each humble little gasp made Dean want to push a little farther, a little harder. But he did have an ace up his sleeve that would leave the celestial being completely undone and writhing in his arms.   
Cas could briefly feel the dip in the bed where Dean came to kneel behind him. He brought himself up to Cas's ear level, his hand never leaving the sets of flossy feathers. He nipped tenderly at the skin just under Cas's earlobe. Tiny kisses grazed around as Cas's breath hitched as each sensation.   
“Before you brother Gabriel, that annoying son of a bitch, decided that he needed to martyr himself to Lucy; he and I chatted. I wanted to find all about you feather heads, what makes you tick.” His fingers had brushed along a group of feathers that caused a loud growl to escape Cas's throat. The angel was slowly falling apart and Dean was loving every minute of it. “And he let it slip that there is this little notch, right,” he pushed a tiny dip in the bone of the wing and an ungodly and sinful hiss came ripping out of Cas; “here, that just drives you insane.” Dean's thumb ran flush against that indentation on the wing while he sucked a hickey into his lover's neck. A whimper, a moan, it was all just slide from the angel's lips straight to Dean's groin. “Do you like that? You like the feeling of my hand in your feathers, my teeth at you neck,” his other hand wrapped tightly around Cas's protruding erection; “my hand on your dick.”   
“Dean, please,” Cas begged. His eyes had rolled back into his head when Dean's thumb ran over the head of his cock at the same time he brushed the indention on his wing. The combined sensations drowned Cas in layers of pleasure and enjoyment. He yipped and groaned at any fraction of movement Dean's hands made.   
“I love it when you beg. What do you want, Cas? You want me to fuck you until you scream? To feel my cock deep in your ass, filling you in cum till it drips out of you?” He bucked his hips up into Cas, rubbing his own erection against the soft slit of Cas's ass. “I'd love you see you bent over, face in the mattress with your arms tied together with that tie of yours, ass up in the air just pleading for my cock. Or maybe having my cock shoved down you pretty little throat, swallowing my cum, just loving the taste of me? You'd like that, would you? Just like the little cock slut you are.” Another thrust of his hips and a fist full of feathers and it was too much. Cas aggressively slammed Dean back down into the bed. His eyes narrowed, staring at Dean with a downright rapacious gaze   
“Then stop talking and do it.” Goddamn. If it wasn't for him not wanting to disappoint Cas on his first time, he would have cum right then. For some reason, Dean remembered Sam saying he put something under the pillow for him. His hand slide underneath, fishing around till it came in contact with a plastic object. Putting his hand back, it revealed as a small bottle of lube. When he saw it, he snorted quietly. You son of a bitch.   
Popping open the bottle, he squeezed a portion out onto his fingers. He reached around and ran his slippery finger around the tight grouping of muscles of Cas's opening. The coldness and the sudden excitement caused Cas to clinch away, before pushing himself back down. He thrust himself down on Dean's finger, halting out at his knuckle. Dean didn't know if he was shocked or turned on at the way that Cas was taking the intruder.   
He wanted to test how well the angel could handle it and he matched one finger with another. Cas threw his head back and moaned at the ceiling. His silken wings trembled a bit at the pleasure Dean was sending into him. Cas began to grind and squeeze around the hunter's fingers, fucking himself just on the digits. He felt cocky that Cas was falling apart because of him.   
But all of this teasing was just pissing Cas off. He pulled Dean's fingers out and promptly impaled himself on his leaking cock. The new source of pleasure caused Cas to bite down hard into Dean's shoulder, unable to control the eros pulsing through him. Another skin puncturing fist of his hand was the only thing that kept Dean's orgasm at bay. Cas wanted to kill him, he knew it. Could he ever catch a break?   
“Oh fuck Cas!” Dean growled at the lust engrossed angel. The sudden tightness and warmth was a welcome cure to the ache he was suffering from and the pain from the bite just added to the ecstasy. He let out a pant, trying to catch his breath, while Cas licked the fresh bite. He took in all of Dean's flavor, metallic blood mixed with sex laden sweat, and the heat of passion. It was like a drug. And the bite marked Dean as his. No one else, only Cas's. “Man, you got to move. You're driving me crazy.”   
Cas pulled himself almost off of Dean, leaving only the head in, before slamming right back down. The hunter howled. He thought that he was going to be the one doing the fucking, not being fucked. Determined to be the dominant one, he grasp Cas's hips hard enough to leave bruises, and began thrusting hard into the angel. He was astonished at how well Cas was taking this all, being his first time and all. It was almost like he was acting like a porn star, drenched in grace of course.   
Cas dropped down, sucking and biting again at the Winchester's mouth. He forced his tongue into the other's mouth and added the taste of his mouth to that of his body. A well placed thrust sent the head of Dean's cock straight into the bundle of nerves of Cas's prostate and released a gasp from the pleasure drunk angel.   
“Please, Dean, please,” Cas whined. Actually whined, like a little child. Dean couldn't have asked for a better aphrodisiac. The picture of this being writhing atop of him, wings flapping, mouth agape and uttering incoherent words at the ceiling, skin drenching in sweat and flush with blood, eyes glowing a light blue; was better then any wet dream Dean could ever construct.   
“It's okay. I've got you,” Dean whispered into Cas's throat. He licked a line up his jugular, tasting him. The flavor of every pie Dean had ever had mixed with that of fresh rain and something that could only be defined as pure Cas. Dean closed his eyes and rutted his nose into his jaw, drinking in the angel's smell. All of his senses were bombarded with Cas and he was drunk on him alone.   
Cas sat up on his knees and looked down at his lover. He saw how radiant he looked in the throws of passion. He never imagined that anything or anyone could look quiet so beautiful and it was all because of him. He drug Dean out of Hell, he put Dean back together, he was sending him into ungodly amounts of lasciviousness.   
“My, my look how flushed you are for me, my pet. It it my voice? My wings? My touch?” His voice was dripping in predatory sex as he practically bounced up and down on his cock. The flight feathers stroked up and down along the sides of Dean's arms and chest, sending chills up his spine. “What makes you so aroused for me attention?” The complete 180 of Cas's attitude startled Dean, but not enough to stop. Another penetrative thrust into Cas's prostate had the angel screaming in delight and had Dean smirking at the effect.   
Cas ground down into Dean's stomach, needing any touch on his neglected cock. Catching on to the hint, Dean wrapped his hand around the leaking cock and began stroking it in rhythm with his thrusts. Cas moaned deep in his throat. His eyes glowed brighter under the long, dark lashes. His head hung heavy on the nape of Dean's neck, where he panted and grunted Dean's name as if he were praying for release.   
“You like that, don't you?” He smiled as Cas nodded and attacked Dean's neck with bites and kisses. “Damn, you're a filthy slut in the sack and fuck its hot.” Dean's thumb ran up over the pre-cum dripping slit of Cas's cock. The feeling brought a heavy growl out of Cas and rattled the walls and windows of the room. His true voice had seeped through, but Dean couldn't complain. He knew how much Cas was enthralled in the pleasure. “You're so close, aren't you?” Cas didn't answer, just panted. “Than come for me, baby. Come for me.”   
He thrust up and stabbed at Cas's prostate once, twice, three times; and grabbed a handful of feathers. Cas's wings whipped open behind him, cracking the ceiling and trying to extend to their full length. Cas glowed brighter as he erupted over Dean's hand and stomach, screaming out his lover's name to the heavens above. The light mildly hurt the hunter's eyes, but he couldn't look away. He needed to see the complete and utter animalistic and carnal destruction of the warrior of god at his hands. His orgasm ripped through his body as he absentmindedly continued thrusting into the now clamped hole of his lover. He panted out Cas's name at him.   
Cas rocked through their orgasms, until he couldn't hold himself up anymore and he pulled himself off the hunter to collapse next to him. Dean pulled Cas close to him and laid Cas's head on his shoulder. He clung to him for dear life. His sweat drenched body ached with pain and pleasure. But the only thing he wanted to do was hold his angel. He breathed in smell of Cas's sweat drenched hair, taking another hit of his drug. He was addicted to Cas and he didn't give a damn what anybody thought.  
“Where in the hell did you learn any of that?” Dean asked, wanting to sound more curious and ending up sounding more appreciative.   
“Dean, I have been witnessed to the sexual forays of humanity since you huddled around the cave fires. I have a complete understanding of the physiology and the mechanics of the sexual acts. It was just the actual feelings and the sensations that I was unaware of. That I needed you to teach me. And you did, thank you.” Dean got a massive ego stroking off of Cas's words. He smiled and placed a playful kiss on Cas's lips to repay the compliment.   
“Damn, we made a mess out,” Dean chuckled, pointing out his cum splattered stomach and what was now beginning to leak from the angel. With a snap of Cas's fingers, very reminiscent of Gabriel, the bed and both their bodies were cleaned. He looked at Dean with a hint of pride in his eyes. Dean smiled at the orgasmic ravaged celestial being and placed a loving kiss on his lips.   
When he pulled back, Cas could see the raw emotion that lay just behind the light smile that danced on Dean's lips. The pain and abandonment that Dean still harbored from his disappearance in Purgatory was playing a big part in the way that Dean clung to him. Cas knew that his fear of abandonment by everyone that he had ever truly loved ran through every action he perpetrated. His overwhelming desire was to make everything right, to make everyone happy, just so that they wouldn't leave or be snatched away from him. That was the one think that kept him going. And the fact that Cas hurt him by committing the one treasonous act that terrified Dean more then any monster in existence; it just broke his heart.   
“I am not going to leave you, Dean.” He looked up into those stunning green, heavy eyes. He wanted to show him that he meant what he said, with every single atom in his body. “Not again. And, there are no real words that I can string together to express how utterly sorry I am for leaving you alone in Purgatory.” Dean gave that smile he always did when he was putting up a screen to hide how hurt he was.   
“Good, cause I'd have to kick your ass if you did.” Another Dean Winchester defense mechanism, sarcasm. He kissed him before settling on the less then comfortable motel pillows. Cas decided to leave well enough alone and let the subject drop. He propped himself up and drew his wings back into his vessel to make himself more comfy. Before making himself a notch beside Dean he reached up towards Dean's shoulder. Dean caught his wrist to stop him.   
“What the hell do you think you're doin'?”   
“I injured you,” he motioned towards the dried blood of the bite he left; “and I was going to heal you.”   
“No,” he lowered his hand; “you're not. That is going to stay right where it's at. I defiantly need something to remember this by.” Dean wrapped his hand around Cas's shoulders and pulled him to lay down next to him. “Besides, now that your Hell hand print has been healed off, you just put your own personal brand on me. Property of Cas.” He smirked at Cas's smile of approval at that idea.  
Cas nuzzled into Dean's throat. He drank in the hunter's smell, and it was intoxicating. He listened to the reverberating heartbeat pulsating in his ear. It wasn't something that Cas had ever done, but it just came completely natural to him. Protecting, watching, it was in the angel's blood.   
Now, Dean Winchester was not a cuddler. It was too chick flicky for him. He would do it occasionally with Lisa, but that was more for her sake then his. Normally, all he wanted to do after sex was a shower and a drink. But not now, not with Cas.   
Despite everything that had happened in the last year and a half, there was absolutely nowhere Dean wanted to be. Cas was so much more then any other person in his life, apart from his brother. An abrupt rush of emotion wash over him that brought a hitch in his breathing. His heartbeat sped up and he prayed that Cas wouldn't pick up on it. Unfortunately, that didn't happen, because Cas caught his eyes with a look of pure concern and worry.   
“Dean?”   
“I'm fine, Cas.” Cas wasn't entirely sure that he believed him, but he took his word.   
“Dean, I feel like I should say something but I don't know if you will take it.” Dean's sense of alarm went off and he sat a little straighter.   
“Cas, man, we've been through Hell and back. Literally. Just say it. I'm tough.”   
“I,” he paused. His eyes searched for the words to best express himself; “I need you, more then anything else in creation. I need you, Dean. I love you.”   
Dean was both surprised by that announcement and completely aware of it. Cas was an open book, so his emotions weren't unknown to Dean. But to actually hear the words, words he never thought that he would ever hear from anyone in this context, drove straight down into his soul. Every wall and every shield he constructed to bar himself from the pain of reality came crashing down so loud it was deafening. He couldn't say anything, the words just wouldn't come out.   
But the look on his face seem to startle Cas and he made a motion to move. He suspected that Dean wouldn't feel the same way. Why would it surprise him? It was Dean Winchester, the love 'em and leave 'em Casanova, after all. So what made Cas any different? All the things he said were just a way to get in Cas's pants and it worked. And now, when it got down to the hardcore reality and emotion of it all, Dean was going to pack up shop and run. But before Cas could go anywhere, Dean pulled him in tighter. He lifted Cas's chin up to plant a heartfelt kiss to his lips.   
“First of all, I never want to think that all I wanted to do with have sex with you. After everything with us, you should know that we're a hell of a lot closer then that. Fuck, man, I sliced and diced all the way through Purgatory for you. And second,” another soft kiss and a long sigh; “I need you too, Castiel. With all of me.”   
Dean was more vulnerable then he ever had been his whole life and it scared the shit out of him. I love you would come, eventually. Dean just needed more time. The only time he had said those words was to his mother and he had made a promise he'd never say them again. But promises can be broken, especially if you meant what was said, and he meant every word of it. But when he said I need you, Cas knew what was meant.   
Cas beamed at the affection the hardened hunter was showing him. The angel had a lot of things to make up for, to fix for Dean, and he knew that it was going to be a long rode back to a time when Dean trusted him fully. But to hear those words and know that there was real meaning behind them, not just empty pillow talk, meant that the road had just been infinitely shortened. In a way of sealing the affection and trust, Cas pulled Dean in for a long and passionate kiss.   
When he laid back down, he slotted himself as close to Dean as possible. He wasn't sure it he had subconsciously remade Dean's body to fit so perfectly with his own or if he did it on purpose and didn't remember. Didn't matter now. All that mattered was the righteous man lying half asleep next to him and the joy and safety that he gave him. Dean was fighting unconsciousness, just to have a few more moments with his angel.   
“Dean, I will be here when you awake. Sleep.” The exhausted hunter smiled as he finally succumbed to sleep's grasp.   
“I love you Castiel.” The last words that escape as Dean passed out. Cas smiled and nuzzled in closer. He didn't sleep but he was completely content to lay there, enveloped in Dean's arms and listening to his breathing.   
Time passed, but not counted. Sam quietly opened the door. He didn't know exactly what had happened, but he had his suspicions and he didn't want to walk in on that. When he gauged things were quiet, he slipped in.   
His eyes trailed the room, tracing the bunches of clothing, the knocked over tables, the scattered papers, the cracks in the ceiling and finally his brother and his angel laying in bed together. Frankly, he was having mixed emotions about the sight. But when he saw the joy and relaxation on Dean's sleeping face and the contentment in Cas's eyes, he knew he had done right.   
Cas nodded in thanks at the younger Winchester. Sam smiled in acknowledgment and went about gathering his things to sleep in the Impala's back seat. He wanted to give them some deserved privacy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Please comment and kudos. And stay tuned, next chapter gets dicey.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an adventurous night of freeing sex , the love birds are now an actual couple. They enjoy their new found openness, much to Sam's chagrin, while still hunting down the creepy crawlies in the dark. But, when Cas suddenly vanishes after a quick sweep of a nearby case, does this mean Dean is about to lose yet another person he cares about?

So that was it. That was all it took. One passion filled night, stemming straight from sexual repression and Sam's nosy intentions, and everything was right with the world. Cas and Dean were finally consummated mates and neither wanted anything else.   
The cycle of Sam having to find an alternative sleeping arrangement went on every few nights for next month. He had his reservations about it, but he figured he owe it to Dean after abandoning him in Purgatory.   
The hunts continued, with Cas the ever present staple in tow. It was helpful to have an angel always with you, but Dean felt a lot like he was more of a mothering hen. He was constantly worrying whenever Dean was injured. Finally, Dean had to put his foot down and told him to knock it off. But, despite the fighting and frustration, Dean always knew that the best thing about Cas's over protection was the mind blowingly great sex afterwords.   
The time in between jobs was spent actually participating in a bit of the domestic. The brothers would sit around with Cas and try to educate him on pop culture and the references that they would make form time to time. They would do weapons training, teaching Cas how to handle firearms, while he would train them in the hand to hand battle techniques Cas learned in Heaven. The laughs and the stories, they acted like they were a family, without all the darkness and death that surrounded them daily.   
Frankly, it never once dawned on Dean that he could ever have this kind of life and keep doing his job. It was always one or the other, and he knew that when push came to shove, the job would always win out and he and Sam would be alone again. But being with Cas, he would never have to wait for the other shoe to drop and have everything snatched away. Again.   
So after Benny called in a favor for the brothers to come and help him clear out his old nest, Dean didn't think anything of it. Sam voiced his concern at them helping out a vampire, but Dean did owe him for his help in Purgatory. They all headed to Washington to take care of the nest and called it the end.   
Two weeks later, the boys were on the case of a rugaru and held up in another crappy hotel room. Cas said that he was going to search out the town for signs of where the beast could be hiding. Ten minutes past, a half hour, an hour, no Cas. Dean actually began to panic when he hadn't heard the familiar sound of wings in all that time. He paced around the room, praying over and over again in his head. He even tore out outside and was begging and pleading for Cas to come back.   
“Sammy, something's wrong,” Dean announced upon bursting in the door.   
“What do you mean?” Sam attention was now all Dean. The panic that practically dripped out of Dean and saturated the room, causing Sam's own concern to skyrocket. He stood up and grabbed his brother's arm to stop him from pacing around.   
“I mean that Cas said he was going to check out the town and that was over an hour ago.”   
“So?  
“So? When does it ever take Cas an hour to do anything?”   
“Well, he can defiantly take an hour to work you over.” Sam smirked at his slightly blushing brother.   
“Shut up.” Dean smacked Sam on his shoulder. “This is serious.”   
“I don't know Dean. Maybe he's just doing angel stuff.”   
“Sam, he's not answering my prayers.” The younger Winchester could see the sheer panic written all over Dean's face. The same type of panic that Sam sees when Dean catches his little brother in trouble. The need to protect what he had was hardwired into Dean and that need was pulsating through the panic.   
“Okay.” Sam inhaled in an attempt to call himself, and hopefully his brother, down. The elder brother started grabbing clothes and various toiletries and throwing them into his duffelbag. “Dean, what are you doing? We don't even know what's happening, where to go?”   
“Sam, I gotta do something. I can't just sit here, with my thumb up my ass,” he yelled at Sam as he threw the bag onto the bed.   
“I'm sorry. Okay. I just,” he looked apologetically at him; “I got to find him.” His voice cracked at the frustration and desperation at this whole situation. The other shoe had dropped and the prospect of losing that connection loomed heavily at his door.   
A knock came to the door. The brothers exchange nervous glances back and forth, while reaching for the guns discreetly tucking into their waistbands. They knew that it couldn't be Cas, he would have just flapped his way in. This was someone else. The slow and concise movements made to the door prepared them for anything that could be just on the other side. Dean held point just behind as Sam held his gun, pressed to the door, and reached for the handle.   
Upon opening the door, he found a young woman standing there. She was dressed in a long white dress, with a powdered blue sweater over top and she looked as though she was stressed. Possibly afraid, glancing left and right trying to keep alert to her surroundings. Her eyes looked bloodshot from crying and she was visibly shaking.   
“Can I come in?” she asked. She absentmindedly stroked her arm in a visible attempt to calm herself.   
“Who are you?” Sam was on edge. Usually when someone came knocking on their door it meant that they were there to cause problems. His grip tightened on the handle of the pistol, trying to maintain the civil expression on his face.   
“Please, I have information and I need your help.” She was pleading. Sam shot a questioning glance towards his brother. He knew that Dean was aching to find Cas, but this sudden uninvited guest claiming to have some sort of information made him even more itchy. The elder Winchester jotted his chin at the door, telling his brother that he should question her a little more.   
“Why do you need our help? You don't even know who were are.”   
“You're the Winchesters. Please, you need to hear what I have to say.” She paused, biting tentatively on her bottom lip, as though she was trying to remember or choose her words. “It's about Castiel.” She pressed extra emphasis on Cas's name, trying to draw home the urgency of her task.   
Sam stuck his head out the door, looking around the parking lot and surrounding buildings for anyone else. Finding not another soul, he opened the door so that she could enter. His fight instinct kicked into overdrive when he heard a squeak. He turned, only to find the girl violently shaking and Dean with a gun aimed directly at her head. She tried to back up, only to run flush into Sam.   
“Where is he you bitch?” Dean was yelling and stepping further towards the terrified girl. She clung to Sam for protection, crying into his shoulder.   
“Dean,” Sam said, trying to calm the situation. He still held to his gun, because he didn't trust her, but he still felt for her and tried to comfort her with a light pat on the back.  
“I wouldn't worry too much about him,” she said into Sam's chest. The whole atmosphere changed when her crying abruptly stopped. She didn't move, standing right next to Sam still. He pushed her away, drawing down on her with his weapon. Her face still soaked in tears, but the expression worlds different from the broken mess she was. “He's being well taken care of and I'm sure he's going to love hearing about how I ripped your throat out.”   
Dean got off a few shots into her but it didn't even slow her down. A hit came to his jaw with a crushing blow strong enough to send him collapsing down onto the floor. Sam emptied his weapon into her. Smacking the gun out Sam's hand, it skidded across the floor. She grabbed fists full of his shirt and ran him against the door. Her lips receded, bearing a mouth full of razor sharp retractable teeth, which she then proceeded to try and dig into Sam's neck.   
He used his forearm to hold her back while trying to wrap his mind around a solution to the problem. Contrary to the girl's small stature, the strength that she had was impressive. Her hand dug into the hunter's shoulder, eliciting a scream from him. He glanced over to his brother still laying unmoved on the floor.   
“Dean!” he shouted. And maybe it was his little brother's cry that drug Dean from his fog, opening his eyes. He shook his head and tried to get his bearings, but another plea from Sam and he was fighting his way to help. He grabbed her sweater and pulled her off of him. She fell to the floor and immediately scrambled to her feet again. But she was met with swift slice of the blade of a machete through her neck. The severed head rolled across the floor and the headless body collapsed onto a lifeless heap.   
“You okay?” Dean dropped the weapon and focused all of his attention to the winded sibling. He checked him over, making sure there were no bites or exchange of fluids.   
“I'm fine. Thanks.”   
“Come on, we got to go.” Dean grabbed again for his duffel.   
“Go where Dean? We still have no idea where Cas is.”   
“That was a vamp, right? So we just go where the vamps are.”   
“You want to go all over the country and kill any vamps we find, trying to figure out where he is?” Sam snorted in derision at the thought. That hit Dean hard. This was just like Purgatory and, once again Sam was taking it like a joke. He turned to face his brother and clocked him right in the nose. “What the hell Dean?” Sam held his nose, which had started to bleed.   
“Fuck you Sam. You just want me to forget about him? Maybe find a little hussy to set up shack with? I am finding him, even if I have to gank everyone of those bloodsucking sons of bitches and do it alone” Sam knew exactly that his words had struck a raw nerve with Dean, though he didn't know what it had to do with precisely.  
In the uncomfortable and uneasy silence that hung between the siblings, a ringing from a cell phone came shuttering through. Both knew that it wasn't the tone from their own or the others phone, so there's only one other place that it could have come from. Dean crouched down and began rummaging through the sweater the now corpse was wearing. Sam shot him a slightly disgusted look, but he was only ignored. Finally he found the ringing piece of plastic and answered it.   
“Dean, so good to hear from you again. I trust that you got my sacrificial lamb?” A sense of bewilderment struck Dean. The voice that the phone emitted was eerily familiar, he just couldn't place it. Gauging from the silence that Dean had, the voice continued. “You don't remember me? I wouldn't expect anything different from you, honestly.” The arrogance that resonated through the voice just frustrated Dean further.   
“Who the hell are you?”   
“I told you I'd see you next season.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned to find out who is behind this resent attack (if you haven't figured it out,you clever reader) and some wonderfully delicious rough sex. As always, kudos and comments welcome. Hope you enjoyed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hero Dean, with boy wonder Sam at his side, comes to rescue the damsel in distress Cas. But there's one question that can't be answered: why did Cas get kidnapped in the first place?

“Alpha.” Dean's blood pressure shot higher as he spit the name out through his teeth, like a disgusting piece of meat. “I would have thought that another hunter would have run a blade up your ass already. That's good, now I get the pleasure of it. Where is my angel?”  
“I would have thought that my child would have informed you as such.”   
“Yeah, well, she can't come to the phone right now.”  
“Just like you hunters. Slice and dice, never just sit to talk.”   
“Why don't you just tell me where you're at and we can all have a little chat over some tea and crumpets?” Dean wanted nothing more than to pop the arrogant dick's head like a pimple right now.   
“Oh, we will. But first, I need to bring me something of mine.”   
“I'm not your damn errand boy. Get one of your blood junkies to do it.”   
“Well, see right now you are my errand boy, you miserable little shit. I have something, or more specifically someone, you want. Play ball and you can have your little song bird again.” With each passing word seeping from the Alpha's lips, Dean started to only see red. Sam put his hand on his shoulder to reassure him that he was there to help. Sam had to commend Dean for being able to actually form sentences at this point.   
“Fine.”   
“I want you to bring me one of my children. She is being held captive, tortured. Bring her to me and you can have your pet back.”  
“Why do you care?”   
“That's none of your concern. Keep to you business, boy, and do what I want.” Dean's fist tightened until his nails dug into the palm and began to bleed. He didn't care. The only thing that mattered was getting Cas back and making sure he was safe.   
“Put Cas on the phone. I want to hear he's there and alive.”  
“Well fine. Ask him yourself.” The phone went silent, until Dean heard breathing on the other end. “Cas, buddy, you there? You okay? I'm coming to get you.” He bit back tears at how scared and mad he was. “Dean!”  
“There are directions in one of the pockets of the girl.” The Alpha's voice came back on the line. Now, bring me my child.” Then nothing. Dean felt like he just had been punched in the gut and he was grasping at the air, fighting to breath.   
“God damn it!” He threw the phone hard enough into the floor that it shattered. He started to storm out the door, leaving Sam bewildered in his wake. He grabbed the duffel and headed after him. By the time he made it outside, Dean already had the Impala running. Sam wondered to himself momentarily if he had been anyone else if Dean would have left him behind. He climbed in the passenger seat, after tossing the bag in the backseat.   
“What is going on?” Dean slammed the steering wheel and went back into the hotel. Sam thought he had whiplash at the many turnovers Dean was showing. Minutes later, Dean emerged and climbed back into the car.   
“That son of a bitch has Cas!” The tires squealed as they pulled out of the parking lot. “Here.” He threw the paper he retrieved from the dead vampire at Sam. “He said the directions to him where on there.” Sam looked at the paper, then back at his brother. He could hear the engine reeving and the scenery picking up pace. Once Dean was set on a path, he would pursue it with vengeful fervor. And this just wasn't another mission, this was Cas. And he wasn't just Dean's lover, he was also Sam's friend.   
“What did he want? Why take Cas?” Sam couldn't let his emotions cloud his mind. Dean was already swimming in his emotions that thinking clearly was a thing of the past. He needed to pull his head together and work it rationally like it was any other case. He couldn't figure out how an angel could be captured, by a vampire none the less.   
“He's holding him hostage. Apparently, he's got a little piece of ass that being held by another hunter and he wants to tried her for Cas.” Another rev of the engine and a white knuckled grip on the wheel, and Dean was choking back the tears of pain and loss and anger.   
“So, are we going to go get her?”   
“Hell no. Fuck him, man. I don't give two shits about some little bitch being tortured. He wants her, he can go get her. No, we're going after that fucker and I'm going to take so much pleasure in ripping his head off myself.” His breathing was becoming faster. “You with me, Sammy?”   
“You know I am Dean.” Sam took a deep breath. “But we need a plan. And you need to slow down.” Sam was worrying about Cas, but he was more worried about Dean. He is not thinking straight and it was going to get them killed.   
“My plan is chopping every one of those blood sucking dick's heads off.”   
“Dean, calm down.”   
“I can't calm down. Who knows what they're doing to him.” The words were soaked in worry and concern, and it hurt Sam to hear his brother like this.   
“You remember that Cas is an angel. It can't be much.” Silence.   
“I can't loose him Sam. I need him. You and him, you're all I got.” Sam knitted his brow and burned a hole in the floorboard from his gaze.  
“I know and we'll get him back. Just calm down and think.” Dean nodded, cause he knew Sam was right. “Yeah, alright, let's make a plan.”   
So the rest of the trip the pair hashed out a plan. Despite all of Sam's relaxation cliches, Dean's blood ran white hot. That fight instinct flared higher and higher, the highest it had been since he was running for his life in Purgatory, and snippets of the tortures he endured in Hell ran like a Rolodex through his head. It just wasn't enough. He just wanted Cas.   
The Impala stepped along an abandoned road. The night revealed a large, plantation style house complete with a servant's quarters and a stable house; all of which were light up against the night. They left the car, digging the needed weapons out before making their way to the outer perimeter. Guards patrolled around and searched out in the darkness. They took to their plan. Dispatching them wasn't as time consuming or as easy as they thought. But they did finally succeed and without alerting the inner house.  
The house was a relatively new nest. Surprising, given that the main resident was the Alpha. But it was fortunate for them, cause that meant that the numbers were lower then older nests. Neither hunter really understood why but they weren't going to argue it. Moving through the house, the vampiric fledglings were beheaded as they were encountered. They kept the sounds to a minimum as the plan depended on it.   
The inner sanction of the house may have been surmised as a trap. It swarmed in vamps, old and new, and a lot of them were armed. Sam was mentally kicking himself for thinking it would be so easy. But to make matters worse, he knew that he would have to almost physically restrain his brother to keep him from just storming head long in with guns blazing.   
Quickly revising their plan, along with a few choice words about behaving from Sam, and they set to work. Dean tossed a stone he dug out of his shoe down an adjacent hallway. Two of the vamps caught the noise and came to investigate.   
“Hey, assclowns!” The pair turned to see Dean standing nonchalantly against the wall, swinging his machete. They both rushed at him in an attempt to kill him, but Sam got the jump on them and decapitated them both. The heads rolled across the floor and the lifeless bodies collapsed into heaps in front of them. The noise and the fresh blood brought the rest of the vamps at the door running.   
After mowing down the bloodsuckers, Dean stormed right towards the guarded door. He kicked open the door. The Alpha sat in the parlor. His presentation was much like that of the old plantation owners during a ball or gala. He had a girl who couldn't have been out of her early teens, sprawled across his lap. She was offering his wrist to the monster, who patiently feed from it. A dark headed boy scampered at the racket from the door, disappearing out into another room.   
Dean took immediate stock of the room and found what he was looking for. His heart raced and his anger swelled at the sight of Cas disheveled, bloody, beaten, and chained to the wall not far from where the Alpha was feeding. His shirt and coat had been ripped all to hell and there was a gash on the side of his head. But when he saw Dean, the life came flooding back into those bright oceanic eyes.   
“Dean!”Cas yelled as he tried to stand, pulling on the chains binding him. Unable to do any such thing, he reluctantly fell back to the floor. The Alpha pushed the girl from his lap, who then hurried out the same door as her counterpart, and shifted in his chair.   
“Did you bring me my child?”   
“What do you want with Cas?” Dean growled. He needed to stall, plus he was particularly interested in why he had the angel.   
“That nest of my children that you killed mercilessly killed in Washington, one got away. He told me such a beautifully deliciously secret, one that I just had to have. Now, my child.”   
“Secret? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”   
“My patience grows thin, Dean. The only thing keeping me from ripping your throat out is nostalgia. My child!”   
“Yeah, yeah your little piece of ass is sitting in the trunk of my car. Her and I had a long talk about how much of a dick you are.” His voice was as steady as he could make it, all the while tightening his grip on the machete. The clanking of the chains binding the angel distracted Dean and enraged him even further. The Alpha smiled at him.   
“I will not say it again.” The smile changed on a dime to a look of domination and demand.   
“Blow me.”   
“You insufferable worm!” Before Dean blinked, the Alpha stood in front of him. Hand on his throat, lifting him in the air, Dean's feet swung below him in a futile attempt for a surface. His lungs searched for air as his eyes began to roll back into his skull. “I will rip your throat out and gorge myself on - .” His words stopped as a syringe of dead man's blood drove straight into his neck. In his surprise, he dropped the oxygen starved hunter and turned his attention to the brother behind him. Cas, meanwhile, was scratching to get to Dean and make sure he was alright.   
“See you next season.” Sam swung the weapon cleanly, dropping the Alpha's head beside his gasping brother.   
“Dean, you okay?” He knelt down to help Dean to his feet, only to have Dean run straight towards Cas.   
“Dean, I'm sorry.” Cas wrapped his arms around his lover.   
“You better be, you bastard.” Dean choked the emotion that fought to over take him. “You went off and got yourself kidnapped. What were you thinking?” He kissed him again with all the emotion and all the protectiveness and relief he had. “Don't you ever let that happen again?” Cas nodded in agreement. Dean smiled and began to fumble with the chains that held the angel.  
“How exactly did we just do that?” Sam asked trying to figure out what just happened. Their plan was to divide and conquer, but not quiet like that.   
“ I was able to sense you when you entered the compound. I used what grace I could to shield your presence from the vampires. Your scent, your footsteps, your heartbeats; I kept you safe as much as I could.”   
“So you cloaked us? Like the Enterprise?” Dean asked, while he struggled with the chains. Sam could see that Dean's efforts were coming to not avail and added his services to get Cas free.   
“Yes.” Dean chuckled at the fact that Cas got that reference.   
“Well, damn it, how the hell are these supposed to come off?” Dean gritted through his teeth.   
“These are angel cuffs.” He tried to pull away from the chains and Enochian sigils light up along the cuffs and the chain. “The only thing that break the sigils is a heavenly object.” Sam looked at his brother, then back at Cas.   
“You mean like your angel blade?”   
“Yes.” The idea hadn't dawned on him. “When they brought me in, I was weaken by angel warding. The sigils kept me somewhat sedated and they were able to take my blade and unable to fight. I believe that the Alpha kept it was a prize of sorts, possibly in his bedroom.” Sam nodded and set off to find the Alpha's bedroom. Dean stayed with Cas, no way his was going to leave him alone. “Dean, I am sorry.”   
“Cas, this is not your fault. I'm gonna get you out of here and everything's gonna be fine.” He kissed Cas again. “You know seeing you like this, all chained up. It's totally turning me on.” A wickedly sinful smile crept across his lips, to which Cas reciprocated.   
“I,-” Cas was cut off by Sam's entrance.   
“Got it.” Cas stood up, with the help of Dean, and pulled the manacles around his hands tight. Sam, getting the hint, raised the blade and brought it sparking through the metal bindings. The restraints burned brightly, perhaps in an act of defiance, only to fall away.   
The three got out the compound and back to the Impala. Needing to get as far away as possible was top priority, especially when they didn't know if there was going to be more vamps headed back to the mothership.   
The engine purred its way down the backwoods highway. A long, quiet drive was needed to calm all of the anxiety down. Sam drove, while Dean sat in the back holding onto Cas's shoulders and running his hand absentmindedly through his hair. Sam would glance in the back and fondly smile. It only took a little less then two months to turn Dean into the romance novel archetype. It actually made him chuckle. Dean was happy and that's all that matters.   
When the constant rumble of the engine dries, Dean awakes with his head resting in Cas's lap. The hypnotic rhythm of the tires and engine, combined with the overwhelming exhaustion, was enough to have Dean stretched out in the seat. Cas was more then happy to watch over him while he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcomed. Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter will be covered in delicious smut.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is back and safe again. But this Cas is somehow different . Will Dean be able to handle him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter includes blood play, not so much in a sexually arousing sense. More like a necessary evil. But if you are uncomfortable with blood drinking and play, I suggest you turn away. Also there is violence in this chapter and some down putting language. The violence is minor but be aware.
> 
> Also as a note, Cas is still an angel through this. I explain how he can be both.  
> Hope you like.

Sam had pulled into one of the hotels on the outskirts of Lonerock, Oregon. He had left his brother with the angel to go and rent rooms. When all of the arrangements have been made and the niceties were said, they went to their separate rooms.  
Dean, now more awake and alert, brought in his duffel and one or two of the larger weapons to stash precariously in the room. They ordered in from a nearby delivery takeout and settled in to some rare relaxation. The night was slow moving as they watched the off color room TV, but the slower pace was always welcome. Dean, however, was on high alert. He had more of a drive to protect Cas, despite the angel's overwhelming power, and he wanted every bump in the night to know that. He wished he could put up a big neon sign: tough my angel and I'll kill you.  
Dean was lost in thought, when he was pulled out by Cas had begun to fidget around in the spot that he had carved out under Dean's arm. He shifted and wormed around, as though he was being made uncomfortable by something in the mattress, until he abruptly launched himself from the bed. He paced away, not looking in Dean's direction. His throat dried and his brow sweated.  
“You okay?” Dean was immediately on high alert. He scooted to the edge of the bed.  
“Dean, I can't.” Cas muttered, rubbing his face into his hands.  
“What!?! Why?” Now Dean was on his feet. His stance and his tone was that in preparation for a fight.  
“I need to leave. And I think that it might be wise for you to stay with Sam tonight.” He exhaled slowly and kept his eyes fixed onto the floor. He didn't dare look at Dean's face, out of the fear of finding a look of fear or anger, or worse distrust.  
“For your own sake.”  
“For my own sake? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Cas didn't answer. He simply turned his back on the hunter, only provoking Dean's frustration at the situation. “Damn it Cas!” His hand went to the angel's shoulder and forced him around.  
“Dean!” Cas growled at him, revealing a mouth full of flesh tearing, blade sharp teeth. The need to flee and keep Dean safe was just as strong, if not stronger, then the desire to tear his throat out and gorge himself. “Your blood has been singing to me since you first entered that compound. The song is so intoxicating.” He closed his eyes, listening to the beating of his heart. “I don't want to hurt you. You need to get as far away from me as possible. Please Dean, get away.” Backing away for the startled hunter, Cas's blood lust began screaming to be satisfied. He couldn't do it. Dean's instinct was to go for the sharpened machete stashed under his jacket on the table and to take a little off of Cas's top. But every molecule of his being was weeping at the thought of killing him, not just his physical being but also the meaning that he represented. That hope and love and safety that Dean never had, but always wanted. His head ached at the thought of that lose.  
The increasing beat of Dean's heart echoed in Cas's ears and no matter how far he backed away, the sound never left him. It was maddening, but not quiet as much as the fact that he was the one that was putting the look of disappointment and fear into Dean's eyes. It was too much, so he made a beeline for the door. He had to get out before it was too late and he did something terrible.  
“Cas, wait!” Dean stepped right in his path. He practically served himself up like a fatten cow for slaughter. The blood lust surged to staggering new heights, enraging Cas and pushing him to the point of blacking out. The last amount of control he could muster had him grabbing Dean by the sides his jacket and flinging him into the edge of the bed.  
The impact was painful, defiantly bruising at least two rubs, but Dean promptly recovered his senses to handle the situation. He pulled himself to standing, wincing at the pain, and fished his switchblade out from his pocket. He pride his jacket off and pulled his t-shirt over his head. For a split second, he debated; but his heart won out and he raised the blade and cut into his chest. A shallow cut, but enough that it brought out a generous amount of blood.  
“Dean, what are you doing? Are you insane!?!” The smell was overpowering, like the smell of a banquet when you haven't eaten in days. Cas's muscles flinched and ached just to throw him to the floor and tear into that bleeding cut, satisfy this intense desire. He anchored himself to the floor, in a desperate attempt not to harm his lover. “Get out. Get out, before I do something terrible.”  
Closer and closer Dean stepped, the scent of the now blood stained skin sent ripples up Cas's spine. He growled deep in his throat in an attempt to get Dean to stop his reckless act.  
“Bite me.” His face was stern and determined.  
“What?” The request caught Cas off guard. He backed farther away, stumbling back into the door.  
“Do it.” Those two words held so much in them. Demanding, fear, pride, angst; but also love, need, trust. Cas needed it and Dean knew it. He looked at Cas and saw how hard he was struggling. Struggling against the pain, against the blood lust, against the monster that was threatening to overtake him. The blood slowly dripping down his peck was further provoking that monster. Dean needed one more poke to topple Cas over the edge, so he made another deep cut next to the previous one. “Do it!”  
At that single act of faith, Cas's blood lust exploded and he launched into Dean. He attacked him with all of his weight, pouncing on him like a cat. Their bodies hit the floor, with Dean taking the brunt of the pain. Panic reeked out of every pore of Dean's skin but he laid himself out like a sacrifice, calm and yielding. The last shred of restraint flickered in Cas's eyes before he opened his jaws and tore into the bleeding skin.  
The agony was excruciating and Dean's threshold barely handled it. He squirmed underneath Cas but he knew that the strength that came with the fang was no match and fighting was useless. New and more exhausting waves of pain washed over him. Especially when he felt individual teeth serrating the toughened muscle in his shoulder. It was almost a bittersweet pleasure.  
Cas savored the thick and hot of Dean's blood, tasting like a finely aged wine. As the new found ecstasy of the feeding conquered Cas in its thralls, any control he had was relinquished. In the whole of his existence, nothing but this has ever mattered more. Having Dean completely and totally surrendered to him, all the while having lost any semblance of power of his own; both were just slaves to this all consuming need. His bite went even deeper, surging more of the euphoric liquid to the surface.  
Dean wasn't going to fight. What was the point? He knew that Cas needed this and he was willing to give it to him. He could feel himself growing tired, feel the life beginning to drained from his pinned body. He cupped his hands around bloodthirsty lover's head, cradling it and gently petting through the sweat soaked hair as if to say that it was okay. He would die for him.  
The meaningful embrace was enough to ground Cas. He snapped out of the dreamlike trance to find his flaccid mate lying beneath him, with a look of contentment on his face. Dean may be okay with dying for him, but Cas wasn't. He snatched the thin bedspread from its place and pressed it into the wound, in an attempt to stop the blood loss. The wound itself wasn't deep enough to cause Dean to bleed out, but the sight and smell needed to be muted.  
Cas sat up into a straddling position and looked down at the man that was willing give his life for him. It was an overwhelming feeling. He gently grasped the back of Dean's head and, pulling him up to him, placed a heartfelt kiss on his lips. Dean's head spin from the loss of blood and he was slightly inebriated from the sensation. The warm, metallic flavor of his own blood was a taste that he had come to know from years of split lips and broken noses. But when it was mixed with the essence of Cas, it was a mind blowing, powerful drug. One that he began hooked on instantly.  
He propped himself up and pulled Cas in for another kiss. The kiss was sloppy and probing, tongues searching and fighting for domination over the others. Dean's hands found their way down to Cas's ass, cupping it and pulling him in tighter. All the while, Cas was digging his nails along the flexing muscles of Dean's arms. When he tried to pull away to sneer at the pain, the dominating angel bit down on his lip, forcing him back in.  
Cas rutted heavily into Dean, eliciting moans from the pinned hunter. He lowered his head and began licking and sucking the sensitive nub of Dean's nipple. A wandering hand ran through Cas's hair as a sign to continue. But when a sharp bite came down, Dean yelped and pulled on his hair.  
“Hey!” Cas looked up, flashing his azure eyes with fire racing through them. His gaze sent shivers up his spine. It was like he was burning a hole straight into him, sending just one message: domination. Dean tried to look away, make himself smaller, but Cas was quick to pull his attention back. He grabbed hold of the hunter's stubbled chin and forced him to look at him.  
“You mind your tone.” He licked up the flush lips of his submissive lover. “Your body is mine to play with.” A kiss on his chin. “Mine to mold.” A nip on his neck. “Mine to do with what I please.”  
Dean immediately understood how this was going to happen. And he was okay with it, turned on more in fact. He was used to being the one in control, the one that had the responsibility of taking care of the other person, so it was freeing to relinquish the reigns and enjoy what was happening. Combined with the fact that it was Cas that was doing the dominating just made it all the more arousing. So he laid back and let Cas have him in any way he wanted.  
The blood high Cas was still on, now combined with the devouring lust surging through him, amplified his desire to wholly decimate Dean. He positioned himself between his legs and pulled them up to wrap around his waist. Using all of his strength, he was able to pick Dean and himself up to a standing position. Dean hungerly devoured Cas's mouth again before being dropped onto the bed. Quickly, Cas pulled off the remaining clothes on them both before recapturing Dean.  
He began kissing down along his jaw, nipping and licking, before making his way down to his neck. He ground down into the already pronounced erection again, making the hunter whine at the delicious feeling. He grinned sinfully at the idea that he was driving Dean into madness. He teased, almost to the point of pain, at Dean's nipples again. He pinched and bit them until they stood just as erect of his cock.  
The wound on his chest had begun to seep lightly. The sent was strong in Cas's nostrils and drove on his ravenous behavior. He lapped at the blood, like a kitten, bringing the taste into his mouth. He coaxed more of the hot liquid to the surface by dragging just the tips of his fangs across the open skin. The pain just egged on Dean's appetite for Cas's dominance. Dean looked down at him and caught the vibrate flash of blue staring back at him while Cas licked at the blood.  
With Dean's attention captured, Cas's hand slipped between them and found his weeping cock, hard and asking for attention. With a single firm grip, Dean threw his head back into the mattress, spewing curses and obscenities. With all the foreplay, he could have cum right there. But with Cas's constrictive hand placed ever so lovingly around him, the orgasm he so demanded was staved off. He placed kiss after kiss down the middle of Dean's chest as he began positioning himself between Dean's legs.  
“Am I everything you want, Dean?” The writhing hunter didn't answer, he just rolled his hips up into Cas's hand. “Answer me!” His gripped tightened causing Dean to yelp out of both surprise and pain.  
“Yeah, fuck. Yes, Cas, yes.” His voice was low and grated, with a flair of irritation punctuating it. Keeping a firm hand at the base of his cock, the dominating angel grabbed the back of Dean's neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss.  
“My darling little pet.” Cas purred with the head of Dean's cock pressed against his throat so he could feel the vibrations. Dean let out a moan that would give a porn star a run for their money. “The words you are looking for are 'Thank you, master'.” He begin stroking, feather light teasing, not giving him all of what he wanted. Cas licked the flat of his tongue at the drops of pre-cum on the slit. “Do you like that? Do you like the feeling of my tongue on you, tasting you? You taste so good.”  
“Oh yeah Cas. It feels so damn good.” Dean wound his fingers in the raven locks. He wanted Cas to just touch him already. His cock ached, he needed something. But against his desire, Cas completely pulled away. Dean whined at the sudden loss. But Cas simply smiled and left him prostrate and wanting.  
He dug through their bag and found their bottle of lube. He didn't open it, he merely came back to his previous position. Dean had a questioning look on his face, but didn't say a word. Just looked at the commanding angel with lust blown green eyes, behaving himself. Cas then proceeded to kiss long the inner of his thigh. He again took hold of the dripping cock, with a more purposeful touch this time, and began licking around the head. Dean whined and tried to buck up into his mouth, but couldn't because Cas held his hips down against the bed.  
Dean was so overly lost in the thralls of Cas's mouth that he didn't notice the sound of the lube bottle opening. Cas dropped down pulling another few inches in, humming around it, while Dean almost bit through his lower lip. Without warning, the probe of Cas's finger pressed against his hole.“Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled at the sudden intrustion. He clinched and pulled away, which prompted Cas to rubbed harder and being him down into a comfortable state.  
“Relax Dean. It will all be so good. You'll love it. Promise,” Cas whispered just across the head of Dean's cock. The feeling was something not totally unusual to Dean,nor was it not enjoyable. But he couldn't help institutionally flinch away. but When he gave in, the lubed digit slipped past the ring of muscle. Dean bit his lip, accustoming himself with the intruder.  
“You're so hungry for my touch. You need it. Just look how your skin raises, demanding my attention.” He kissed the skin just above the hair of Dean's groin. Dean whined at the missing movement of Cas's hand. “Do you want me to go farther? To push deeper?” Dean nodded and Cas obliged. The whole finger slide in and curled up, brushing right into his prostate.  
“Oh sweet Jesus, Cas! Right there. Right, fucking, there.” Dean fisted the sheets, attempting to grab hold of something. Cas smiled at the control he had. He pushed another finger in. He scissored and pumped the digits around. Dean's eyes rolled back into his skull and his feet dug into the bed. All of this was just a tease though. Cas had his other hand lock firmly around the base of Dean's cock. He couldn't come no matter what Cas did. He licked up the length and around the head. Dean moaned even louder. So another finger was added and scissored him open farther. “Please Cas. I can't.” He was panting, his voice breaking between breathes. “Please, fuck me. I need you.” There it was. The broken and needful tone that Cas just ate up.  
“As you wish.” He flipped Dean over onto his belly and pulled his hips up to a kneeling position. He presented such erotically delicious image. His head was laying down on the bed with his eyes glued back onto the angel . He couldn't help feeling like the prize bitch at show in this posture, but he was loving the freedom of it. “There's my pretty little bitch.”  
Cas squeezed a generous helping of lube into his hand and began stroking his own neglected, throbbing cock. He probably could have gotten off just on Dean's appearance, but he knew that fucking Dean would be so much more satisfying. He pulled Dean back to the end of the bed and lined himself up. He could see in the way that Dean looked at him that he was pleading for him. Cas lick up his spine, like a mix of asking for permission and a show of domination. The lust drunk Winchester slumped his shoulders, raised his ass a little higher and pushed back into him. Cas smiled and pushed the head of his cock into the haughty man.  
He couldn't stop the scream that escaped from him. Not a scream so much of pain, though the burning sensation was nothing to knock, but more of a scream of prodding and enjoyment. He loved it, but he needed time to adjust and Cas knew it. He stalled his hips and kneaded the meat of Dean's ass in an attempt to sooth him.  
“Please Cas, you gotta move dude. Your kill-.” Before he could finish his sentence, Cas pushed all the way to the hilt. Dean winced at the pain and cried out in pleasure and surprise. The overwhelming fullness was something that Dean absolutely loved. “God damn!” Cas pulled almost all the way out before slamming back in with punishing force. He leaned down to whisper in Dean's ear.  
“Utter such blasphemies in my presence again and I will make so you can sit down for days.” He sucked on the soft earlobe and thrust himself back in again. Dean whimpered and whined. “I love how broken you sound, how needful you are for me. You present your ass like the good little slut you are. Taking my cock and loving it.” Another hard thrust, this one brushed his prostate. “Fuck Cas!” he cried out. He felt like his knees were going to give, but Cas wasn't going to let him off that easy. He had a bruising hold on his hips as he set a strong pace.  
“You say my name like a good little cock slut you are. Coming from your luscious cock sucking lips, it sounds so heavenly.” Dean smiled briefly at that. He tried to touch himself, he needed to come, but Cas grabbed his wrist and pulled it behind his back. “No you don't. You're at my discretion. You come when I let you.” He angled himself again, so with each thrust he was pushing into his prostate. Dean was now in tears with how much pleasure he was in. “I will use everything I have to make you come, again and again. I will make you scream, bleed, want, cry. I will claim you as my own.”  
With each thrust, the headboard slammed into the wall. A distant thought of the annoyance they were causing to the other hotel guest drifted into Dean's mind but was quickly forgotten when he felt the white hot rumblings of his orgasm burning in the pit of his belly.  
“Cas, please. I gotta... I need,” he said panting and growling through each word. He was too far gone to be able to put coherent sentences together. Cas put his left hand under Dean's chin and drew him back up against him.  
“Then do it. Come for me. Show me how obedient you are. Come for me Dean.” Another assaulting hit to his prostate and Dean couldn't take it. He tightened up, yelling Cas's name to the ceiling and repeated it over and over again like a sinful prayer, as the ropes of cum covered his chest and the bed in front of him. “That's my obedient little bitch,” Cas growled as he rocked Dean through his orgasm. And, if it wasn't for Cas holding him in place, he would have collapsed on the bed in a heaving mess.  
Cas could feel his own finish growing quickly but he wasn't going to run to the end of the line just yet. He moved his hand down to Dean's softening cock, stroking the hypersensitive nerves and making him squirm and moan. It was too much. What little of Cas's rhythm was gone and he just thrust wildly into him, seeking that pleasurable prize. Dean tightened himself one more time and Cas climaxed.  
But instead of hearing the praise of Dean drip from Cas's lips, he was met with Cas's teeth tearing into his shoulder. The sudden surge of agony cause Dean to scream out. Blood dripped down his chest and his back and Cas kept sucking, licking and lapping at the wound. Dean was in such a mix of willingness and shock that he went rigid. The overpowering control of the blood lust held on tight to the orgasmic charged angel. He drank and drank. Dean's blood was now laced with the hormones of sex and it was addicting. He closed his eyes and savored the taste, the tingle that wasn't there before. His arms wrapped around the hunter's now weakening body, holding him possessively while he took his fill.  
“Castiel,” Dean uttered, barely above a whisper. He was weak and used and scared. This Cas was different and he didn't know if he had any control over himself. He could very easily kill Dean without a second thought. But, between the strength of the hold around him and the helplessness now flowing through his body, there was nothing he could do about it. So he just sank into Cas's chest and gave in.  
The name drove straight through the wild blood lust and shook Cas into reality. He pulled away from the bleeding flesh and could feel that Dean had begun to go limp. He pulled out and flipped Dean around and laid him down on the bed.  
“Dean?” Cas slapped at the unresponsive hunter. “Dean!?!” Cas was angry and even scared that Dean might not wake up and it was going to all be because of him. He tested his pulse, finding it still there but meek and fleeting. His attempts to bring him back to consciousness got rougher and rougher. Finally, the apple green of his eyes cracked from under those baby soft lashes and he gave a tiny smile. Cas smiled back, relieved that he was still with him. “I'm so sorry, Dean. I don't know what happened. I had no control.”  
“Hey, the next time you want to use me as a juice box, just give me some heads up.” Dean was trying to be funny, and Cas knew it. But the words just made him feel worse about it. Dean used what little strength he could muster and sat up to kiss the sorrowful angel. “Cas, its okay. I've been through a hell of a lot more then that and pulled through. I can be your walking blood bank if need be.” The thought wasn't a comforting one for many reasons, but Cas gave his usual 'You never think highly of yourself, do you Dean? You don't realize you're my whole existence' smile. “But if you're gonna fuck me and use that dirty mouth of yours like that, I'm more then okay with it.”  
“Anything you wish.” Dean pulled him in for another kiss.  
Now turning his attention to the wound, he fished out the medical kit from their bag. He doctored up the gash and used a wetted wash cloth to clean the aching skin. The tenderness and placement of the bite meant that Dean wasn't going to be able to have full use of his right arm for a day or two. But Cas knew he would just grin and bear it. Dean wasn't exactly one that followed bed rest for anything.  
The bed was a disaster. Cas took care of that by changing out the sheets. He tried to help Dean slip into a pair of sleep pants, but he just scoffed and told him to quit making such a fuse over him. When the two were cleaned up and past the point of exhaustion, they settled in for the night. Cas pulled Dean into a protective embrace, with his chin resting on top of his head while he played with the small strands of his hair. Dean wanted to make a corny remark about not being such a girl, but he just wanted it. He wanted to be held and protected, and apart from the injury to his shoulder, this whole night was the type of freeing therapy that Dean needed. So he put his overly macho man behavior away, and just enjoy the feeling.  
“You didn't have to do that,” Cas said. He sounded upset with himself that he had lost his grasp on the situation and Dean had gotten hurt in the process.  
“The hell I didn't. You needed it, I gave it to you. End of story.”  
“But Dean, you could have died because of it.” Dean chuckled at the idea that after all of the shit he had been through in his life; a night of hot, dirty, mind blowingly awesome sex was going to be the end of him. He pulled Cas down for a small kiss.  
“You listen to me bird brain. You and Sammy are the only family I have, the only people I give a damn about. If I'm going to die, I would hope that it would be to save you. A least then my death would mean something. So quit being such a baby about it and cuddle me damn it.” He kissed him again and brought a smile to Cas. “If you ever tell Sam I said that, you'll live to regret it.”  
“Okay.” Cas said with a light chuckle. Dean hasn't ever been the type for feelings talk and he was okay with that.  
The room was quiet again. The weary hunter shifted further into the warm embrace of Cas's arms, close enough that he could smell his skin of his chest. The aroma was so comforting, a mix of sea spray, a touch of holy incense, and Cas's own musk. If someone had told Dean that he would ever find so much peace and contentment in the warmth and aroma of a man, let alone a monster, they probably would have ended up with a bullet in their leg. But he did, and god damn it, he deserved it.  
The low rumble of the heater began to drowned out the sounds of their breathing. Cas knew that Dean had finally dropped off to sleep when he heard the soft rhythms of his snores. His arms tightened a bit more and brought his mate in closer, till Dean was essentially nuzzling against him.  
“I wish that you could see yourself the way that I see you, the way that Sam sees you. You are a great, and righteous man, Dean Winchester, and I love you.” He placed a loving kiss on Dean's forehead before he allowed himself to slip into a meditative state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcome. Hope you liked. Next chapter we meet a new friend and get hit with a bomb shell.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Free Will goes to the one person, or angel actually, that can get Cas back to himself. But with his cleansing, a new terrifying revelation comes to light that will change Cas and Dean's life forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning before we start: there is some descriptive imagery. Its not something extremely graphic but it is a little detailed. So be warned.  
> Also I have to say it, I am not the angel character Sariel. The character is not bases off of me. Please don't think that its a Mary sue. Its not meant to be. In fact, she is actually the first character I've ever created. So I hope you like.  
> Enjoy.

The next morning Dean awoke to a knock on the door. He could feel the weight and warmth that was coming from his lover draped across him. Dean wasn't sure if he was asleep or in that vegetative state he liked to call meditation, but he was more the content to stay wrapped around him. But after a bit of forceful persuasion, Dean finally got himself untangled just in time to hear another rap on the door. As if he didn't know who it could be, he opened the door to see his brother. He stepped outside and closed the door behind him.  
“Dude, keep it down. I think Cas is asleep in there.” The warm sun hit his bare chest. It was more soothing then the aches and pains coming from his shoulder, arm and hips.  
“Cas is sleeping? Dean, he doesn't sleep.” He stopped suddenly when he caught a sight of the bandage on Dean's shoulder and the gash on his chest. “What the hell happened?"  
“It's a uhm,” He cleared his throat, “a long story.” His eyes darted around as a slight blush rose to his cheeks and Sam wasn't exactly sure if he really wanted to hear that story. “I'll edit it for your girly sensibility.”  
“Jerk.”  
“Bitch. Go grab some breakfast and maybe we can find out how that dick was able to get his hands on Cas.” He tossed Sam the keys to the Impala. “Go. Food. Now.” He pointed out of the parking lot with a smirk on his face. Sam snatched the keys from his brother's hand and stormed off the car.  
After forty-five minutes, he returned. He had trouble finding a place that he knew Dean would actually eat from. He picked up enough food for the three of them, being unsure whether Cas would eat since he suddenly started sleeping. It would at least be there if he wanted it. He huffed as he got out of the car and prepared himself for whatever crazy messed up story his brother had to tell him. When he opened the door, he found the blood soaked comforter and sheets balled up by the door, Dean's switchblade on the floor, ripped clothing strewn about, and the couple sitting peacefully on the bed.  
“Finally, I'm starving.” Dean hopped off the bed and grabbed the bags out of his bewildered brother's hands. Sam's interest had been peeked by the destruction around the room. Though he was pretty sure he might puke a little in his mouth, he was itching to know what happened.  
“What the hell happened in here? Were you attacked?”  
“You could say that,” Dean said in between bites, winking at Cas who was still sitting on the bed. Cas smiled, Sam just rolled his eyes.  
“So this is all one of your nightly mattress tests?  
“You know what? Screw you, dude. You're just jealous,” Dean bit at his brother with irritation in his voice. Sam just smiled. He knew exactly how to get under Dean's skin.  
“Dean, stop please,” Cas asked.  
“Yeah, you forgot that we shared a wall last night.” The bitch face that Sam sported was one of his best. “ I heard enough to give me nightmares for another lifetime.” Dean fidgeted and a blush struck his freckled face.  
“Good, I'm glad I could scar you're whole freaking world. I'm doing my job properly.” Dean smiled at Sam, who flipped him the bird.  
Cas just shook his head. He found it heartwarming the deep abiding love and respect the two held for each other and how they could still play around so innocent and carefree, despite all the death and hell that surrounds them constantly. He only wished that his own family experience the playful nature that those two boys share.  
“So what the hell happened, Cas?” Sam asked. “I didn't think that anything could hold an angel. How did that Alpha do it?”  
“I was out searching for anything that might lead us to a rugaru when I felt this pull. It was like I was bound to this pull, unable to escape.” Cas had Dean's full attention. He could feel this pang of protectiveness coming from him and it made him proud that that feeling was for him.  
“What do you mean by a pull?” Sam asked. “I believe that it may have been a 'wrangling sigil'.”  
“A wrangling sigil? You mean like horses?” Dean laughed at his own mental image of Cas running around on the plains like a centaur. “Wait, how the hell don't we know about it?”  
“Its not something that is well known. It's a spell that was essentially buried in time. It basically forces any angels that are in the area to appear where you want them. That's why it was buried. It was dangerous and some of my brothers were killed because of it.  
“So where does an Alpha get his hands on it?” There were so many things that just didn't make since to any of them.  
“I don't know. All I know is the next thing I remember I am standing in an empty room, bound within an angel trap.”  
“Angel trap?” Sam felt like he should be writing this all down.  
“Yes, its functions much like a devil's trap. It can hold an angel and restrain our powers. The Alpha told me that I should settle myself in, that he had big plans for me. He wanted something that I had, but wouldn't tell me what. All he did do was chain me and force gallons upon gallons of his own blood down my throat, until I didn't know who I was anymore.” He opened his mouth to show Sam his teeth. It startled him. He fought against his hunter urge with mixed emotion.  
“How does that happen? Shouldn't you be able to, I don't know, clean it out of you or something?” Dean couldn't fully wrap his mind around it.  
“If it had been a simple cut or a few drops, then yes. But with that amount, my grace was saturated in it. Everything that makes me an angel was buried underneath it and my vessel took to the changes in the blood. That's why I can't fly and I couldn't heal you.”  
“So how were you able to cloak us?” Dean asked, his mouth stuffed full of food.  
“The last bit of grace that I could summon was used to help you. Even though my grace was subdued, I still have it. I'm still an angel, just a bastardized version of one.” He looked at the floor, almost ashamed of what he was. Dean caught that and put his hand on Cas's thigh, squeezing it gently. Cas smiled at the gesture.  
“So, we need to fix this. Get you cleaned up.” Sam nodded at Dean in agreement.  
“There is someone that may be able to help. One of my sisters. Her name is Sariel. She's the retriever.”  
“The retriever? What is she, a dog?” Dean asked with a smirk.  
“No, Sariel is an angel of healing. She is the retriever of souls, souls from Purgatory and from Earth. She's the only one with the power to help me.” An air of contemplation struck his face, as though caught in a memory.  
“How do we find her? A summoning spell, like Balthazar?” Sam asked. Cas snapped out of his daydream and back to the conversation.  
“Yes, that will work. But we need to find a clearing, somewhere away from everyone.”  
“What difference does it make?”  
“Sariel enjoys the glory of nature. Plus it's better that we have our privacy for this.”  
“Why? What's going to happen?” Dean asked, a thread of protectiveness and hunter lacing through his words. Cas smiled at him. He hated to admit it, but he loved to see Dean like this. All adrenaline and impulse. It reminded him that Dean only really got this way when it came to family and that thought alone made him surge with pride.  
“She has extract my grace.” He paused and inhaled deeply. It wasn't until then that the realization of his situation actually hit him with the full force. An angel's grace was something that is sacred and precious to them and the removal of it is something that is amount to treason. Even without being the dutiful and obedient angel of the lord, the thought of having his grace removed still sent shivers of repercussions up his spine. “The process will be immensely painful, but when its over I will be Castiel again.”  
Both brothers knew what this meant to Cas and knew how scared he was. His attempts to look stoic and calm, despite the storm brewing inside of him, weren't fooling either one of them. Sam could see the anger the lay just below the surface, that raw need to protect. It was the same posturing that Dean got whenever he was in trouble. He understood, and he understood what Cas was probably feeling. If tearing grace out was anything like putting a soul back in, he could defiantly sympathize.  
“Cas, we're both here to help,” Sam said with a reassuring pat on the back.  
“Thank you, Sam.”  
“So, let's go find a field.” Dean again squeezed Cas's thigh again. He stood up and gathered the trash up.  
“Cas, did you want your breakfast?” Sam asked and pointed at the closed container he had brought for him. Cas glanced at Dean, who returned the glance with a wink.  
“Uh, no. Thank you for your thought Sam, but I'm not hungry.” He didn't think that Sam really cared to know that while he was out, Cas had made his own breakfast of his brother. A quick head nod and Sam left it at that.  
Dean and Cas opted to pack up the Impala, while Sam went to check out. He figured that with the woodlands around that there had to be some hiking trails. The guy at the desk said that there was a place back in the forest where he liked to go hunting. It had a large clearing, surrounded by trees. Best part, no one for miles. Sam thanked him, slipped him an twenty for his trouble and left.  
The clerk hadn't lied. The three ended up driving two hours outside of town, into the middle of nowhere to find this place. But it was so worth it. The clearing was filled with grass, weeds, flowering brush, and all nature of blooming foliage. The trees that surrounded it, almost encapsulating this untouched slice of pristine wilderness unto itself, were every height of aspen, oaks, and birch imaginable. From gargantuan, elderly oaks with their branches grasping out over the clearing and encasing it in a heavy border; to the young and tiny saplings struggling to get just a momentary glimpse of the sun from under their much larger brothers.  
Neither of the brothers had ever seen anything so beautiful. Sam was the bookworm. He had seen images like this in books and magazines, but never the real thing. And it not like his life afforded either of them to indulge in the appreciation of nature. Dean's life revolved around hunting, Sam, food, and cars, and now Cas. But he, with all his roughened edges, was softened by this perfection. Cas was actually excited that the boys could finally see something through his eyes. Nature was a constant beauty to him and, before Dean and Sam came along, he would pass his eternity absorbed in that beauty. His hand wrapped in Dean's and pulled him back to himself.  
“Right. We have work to do,” Dean said with a start. Opening their bags, they pulled out all the necessary ingredients. Cas draped the drop cloth across the ground and the hunters set up the alter. With everything set up and the ritual recited, Dean held the burning match over the bowl. “You ready?” He asked, looking over at his terrified mate.  
“Yes.” He tried to hide the shaking in his voice. Dean threw the match in the bowl and watched as it erupt in flame. A flurry of beating wings and the summoned angel appeared before them.  
The vessel was that of a young woman, in her late twenties. Her long brunette hair was half pinned in the back by what looked like a pin of long black feathers, while her bangs helped to frame her soft face. She seemed to be a bit off balanced by the black stiletto heels that didn't grip the ground very well. But her long, denim wrapped legs did the best they could to steady her. A grey short sleeve shirt with a moderately low cut neck line finished out her ensemble and actually cut the figure of a respectable young woman.  
She walked right up to Cas and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him in tight. Dean felt a swell of jealousy as he watched this, but quickly resigned it to being out of line. Sometimes the thought that Cas had a past before saving Dean and he needed to remind himself of it.  
“Castiel, I am so glad to see you.” Cas smiled as he hugged her back. “There was no word in Heaven about what was happening. The upper levels, the ones that took control after you left, they ordered that there were to be no angels on Earth. They didn't want anymore Angelic blood spilled. That was until the prophet was found.” He pulled back away from her, but not quiet letting her go. “I mourned your death. I was lost when you left, Castiel. We all were. When Hester and Inias were sent after the prophet and Inias came back saying that you were alive, I was elated. I want to find you, but couldn't. I gave up and thought that perhaps Inias was mistaken, that you truly were dead. But here you are.” Cas finally her go.  
“I am sorry.” He lowered his eyes. The guilt from all the bloodshed and turmoil he caused in Heaven, between his brothers and sisters, it drowned him again. It washed over the little bit of happiness that he had had in the last few months. “I only wanted to help. I believed that what I was doing was the right thing.” He paused, trying to figure out what to say. “Inias wasn't mistaken, I did speak to him. When we destroyed the Leviathans, I was swept into Purgatory. That is why you were unable to find me. But, as you say, here I am and we need your help.”  
“Yes, you and the Winchesters.” She walked over to the boys with a gentle smile on her face. “Sam and Dean. The hunters who both Heaven and Hell fear. It is truly an honor. Any friend of Castiel's I am always happy to help.”  
“Wow, an actually appreciative angel. Where have you been stashing her?” Dean asked. Sam shot him a look of 'come on', but for once Dean was actually sending a genuine compliment. It was a refreshing change of pace from all the cocky, self important dicks they've dealt with. Sariel smiled at the complement.  
“Sariel, I need you to retrieve my grace.” A grave look came over her face and she stepped away. It was obvious that she was not only hesitant about the idea, she was down right against it.  
“Castiel, you know that is dangerous and forbidden. It could kill you. I can't.” Her words came out shaky and staggering. She knew that the laws of Heaven had changed drastically since the Apocalypse was averted, but that was the one rule that never had.  
“You are the only one that can do this. Your power can pull my grace. Please, I need your help.” His words pleaded with her. But despite being loyal, the mere thought that he was essentially asking her to kill him did nothing but enrage her.  
“Why? Do you want to die?” she yelled. Every fiber of her being begged to flee, to get away and keep him safe. But she couldn't. Castiel was her brother, the one that watched over her and helped in her training. He was more like a father. She didn't find out that he was alive, just to kill him.  
“No. I want to cleanse myself of this abomination within me.” Cas flashed his fangs and with them, the blood lust surged. He could hear the heartbeat of Sariel's vessel, already high out of her anger, quicken at the sight and the smell of her blood was sending him into a soaring high. He tried to hold himself back but just couldn't. He lunged forward at the frightened angel. Dean and Sam, were quick to respond, grabbing onto his shoulders and pulling him away. They both knew that they were putting themselves in danger, but as long as they could protect, it was okay.  
Sariel backed away. Her face frozen in terror and a single tear rolled down her cheek. She had never seen anything like this before and it broke her heart to see Castiel turn from the pure and gentle creature she knew him to be into this ravenous, bloodthirsty animal. Again her instincts screamed to flee but she stood grounded.  
When Cas forced the blood thirst down and realized just what was happening, he saw his terrified sister standing before him. His intentions again warped into something that could destroy. The anger and the guilt again rapped at his brain and he felt like the only thing that he deserved was the edge of Dean's blade.  
He withdrew into himself and forced his fangs back out of sight. His breathing calmed and his muscles relaxed. Dean saw that Cas was back to himself and let him go. A quick squeeze sent an unspoken message of warning and comfort to the remorseful angel.  
Cas understood Dean. He knew that despite his love for him, Dean would kill him if he had to. But he was more concerned with the shaken sister before him. He caught her up again and attempted to calm her. While her somewhat stable demeanor appeared outside, her whole vessel was trembling.  
“Sister, I am so sorry. It was never my intention for this to happen.” He pulled her back. “Sariel, I trust you. I know that you are capable to doing this.” She looked away. “Please.” She closed her eyes and nodded.  
“Alright.”  
“Is there anything that we can do to help?”  
“No, Sam. I am unsure what is going to happen. I've never done this, like this,” her eyes rolled towards Cas; “before. It would be better for you and Dean to stand back until its over.” Sam nodded, but Dean simply stood there. Cas could see that every atom in Dean's body was itching to save him, to protect, even through there was nothing that he could do. He could also see that Dean was scared. After years of watching him, he knew how he looked when he was truly scared. He looked at Dean with all the love that he could.  
“Dean, please.” Dean couldn't say anything. So he just bit his lip and nodded. Sam looked at him as if to say 'it's okay. I'm here if anything goes wrong.' Dean had always tried not to burden his little brother with his problems and defiantly not his worry, but he was relieved that Sam was there now to help him.  
“Castiel, I need you to kneel,” Sariel said. Her hands were shaking still as Cas did as directed. She looked towards the boys and, with as much warning and sternness as she could muster, said “Whatever happens, whatever you hear and see, just stay away.” Her eyes trialed back to Cas. She tried to calm herself the best that she could, but it was difficult. The possibility for something to go wrong was exponential, but she couldn't focus on that. She had to keep her head clear and calm for Cas.  
She brushed her hand along his cheek and tried to communicate her sympathy and understanding for what was about to happen. Somehow, through those wide, deep blue eyes, she knew he knew what she was saying. Her hand moved around to cradle the back of his head, pulling him up into a straightened position. She lowered herself and, before anyone could react, she kissed him. It caused his whole body to ridged, but she couldn't stop. She broke the kiss and pulled away, bringing with her a bluish-white vapor coming from him. The vapor settled within Sariel, leaving Cas looking weaker and weaker.  
His body was writhing in agony. It felt as though every atom of his was being forcibly ripped apart. Though he tried, he couldn't hold back the scream that split from his body, cutting the relative silence of the clearing and sending birds flying from the tree. Dean surged forward. He couldn't just stand there. His instincts told him to fight, to save, to protect. But Sam, needing to be the level head of the two, stopped him. He got in between them, pushing Dean away, trying to get him under control.  
“Dean, you can't. This has to happen,” he told him. And just because Dean knew it, didn't make it any easier. The anger and frustration that boiled inside him broke to stinging eyes and self-hatred. Finally, logic sank its way down and Dean stopped fighting.  
As Cas collapsed down into himself, Sariel pulled the last of the vapor into herself. She stepped away, her body radiating a soft white glow and her eyes an unearthly white. Images of Anna, after she acquired her grace, flashed in both Sam and Dean's minds. But the need to shield themselves never came. Sariel merely stood, like a statue, watching the events unfold themselves. Suddenly,Cas let out a blood curdling scream. The vampiric blood was once again in control, evident by the fangs that flashed. He fell forward onto his hand, the other clutching his stomach. He grabbed hold of the flask, with the Campbell's cure in it already and chugged it. The blood that he took from Dean was inconsequential, as his grace shielded him. The hunger and blood lust was more like a parasite that needed to be momentarily sedated without affecting the host. But now, without his grace, he was human and the parasite had come out in the open and could be destroyed.  
He began to vomit. Aching and coughing, the level of pain pulsed through him like tiny blades digging into his muscles. He screamed again, until his voice was horse. Dean couldn't handle it anymore. He turned his back and squeezed shut his eyes. He knew the searing, white hot pain that came from the detox. He understood that sudden desire to be hit by a train, just because it would hurt less. He knew the fear and the terror that it brought, wanting to run and hide from it all. And worst of all, he knew he couldn't do a single fucking thing to stop it. Sam's efforts to calm him, bring him peace of mind, did absolutely nothing. But at least he was trying.  
Through the haze of the additional grace, Sariel could see the suffering of her brother. She could see his writhing and his fight and she could only stand there. Once the grace had been removed, there was no turning back. Cas had to fight, or he would die.  
When Cas finished vomiting the last of the vile black substance, he felt weak and winded. He panted, his breath labored and faltering. His throat raw, his chest burned, and his head swam. Slowly, he pulled himself to a standing position and glanced over to Dean. He saw the panic and the sorrow written all over his being. It pained him to see Dean like that, but he smiled to show him that it was all over and he was alright.  
Sariel stepped back towards him and slowly breathed the Cas's grace back to him. As his grace settled down within his beaten body, he could feel the heat and the purity pulse throughout him. His strength flexed in his muscles and healed his injuries. When the last of his grace left her, Sariel began to feel dizzy and lightheaded. She stumbled sideways, but Sam moved quickly and caught her before she could fall to the ground.  
Dean was still weary of the situation. But when he saw Cas standing on his own, clinching and unfurling his fists as if testing the strength within them, his desire to run to him overwhelmed him. He caught him up in a hug. A vibration seemed to resonate for the angel and it brought a pure sense of peace he hasn't felt in decades descend on him. When he pulled back he could see that same serene expression he saw in the barn the day they met plastered all over his face.  
“You okay?” Sam asked, grasping Cas's shoulder. He was relieved that Cas was back to himself. Despite everything, Cas was still his friend, the closest one he's had in a very long time. Not to mention that Cas helped him to keep Dean sane and sober. That was more than he could actually ask for. And over the years and through all the trials and tribulations, Sam had come to think of Cas not as an Angel of the Lord or even as Dean's mate, but as his brother. That was what Cas meant to him.  
“Yes. More then okay. Watch.” He stepped away from them. With his jacket and his t-shirt removed, his eyes closed and his breathing leveled out. The angel began to glow: a soft, subtle brightness building to an almost blinding light. The boys shielded their eyes and missed his wings rising from his vessel. When the light dimmed, they were greeted with the impressive image before them.  
The wings they saw were so much bigger and majestic then what Dean had seen of them the first night they were together. Now that they didn't have walls and ceilings constricting them, they could spread to their natural height. They towered over his head, totaling an astonishing height of fifteen feet. The end primary feathers touched at the top, with each of the secondaries splaying out. It was as if they were relieved of the pressure of being confined. The sun struck the silky, black feathers and brought out new shades of blues and greens. The colors danced as if fairies were playing among them, like oil on water.  
Sam had never seen Cas's wings. The sight of them was something ethereal and breathtaking. His mental image of what an angel's wings would look like were now shattered and replaced with one greater. He could feel himself beginning to reach out. He wanted to know what they would feel like, but stopped. He respected Cas.  
Dean, on the hand, felt that stir of arousal come creeping up. He almost felt like he was being courted by the way that Cas appeared to be strutting around for him. Deep down, he was convinced that Cas was totally enthralled with all the attention he was getting. His cock couldn't help but take notice. But now was not the time, nor the place. He damn sure wasn't going to fuck Cas right in front of his brothers. And the look on Cas's told Dean that he could read every dirty and possessive thought that swam around in his brain. They shared a glance of lust and want between them. Of course, they weren't as subtle as they thought they were. Sam knew that look. Another night either in the Impala or in another room. Possibly even another hotel, with these two. His shoulders rolled as his wings folded closed and tucked back within. It was a new and welcomed feeling of having his grace run through each and every cell of him, free of contamination and disease. A metaphysical glow beamed just below the surface and it made him seem even more otherworldly and all that more beautiful. He placed a soft kiss on Dean's lips.  
“My grace is once again pure.” He looked to Sariel. “Thank you.”  
“You are welcome, brother. I am glad that everything ended well and you are safe. I couldn't say if even Micheal himself would be able to survive anything like that. You are defiantly more unique than other angels.” Sariel smiled at her brother. She was immensely proud of him, and if she didn't know any better, she might actually say that he was blushing.  
“Yeah, well, we owe you a drink or something. Thanks.”  
“No need, Dean. My brother means very much to me and I'm glad that I could help.” She turned around and walked away, as if to leave. But then she stopped and turned back. “Dean, you don't know how lucky you are to be mated to him. You should do anything and everything in your power to make him happy and you never take him for granted. He's so much more then you'll ever know.” Her words sounded a bit heated, but within them seemed to lie something secretive and Cas caught it.  
“Sariel, you don't hide a secret well. Now, what are you not telling me?”  
“It's not I that hold the secret. It's your grace. I sensed it.” She began to bit on her lip. When this all began, she suspected what she may find when she housed his grace. But this never even entered her mind.  
“What?” Dean's eyes darted between the two angels. He had only two things running through his mind; one, he felt like he was being left out of some internal discussion between the two, and two it felt that another shoe to drop. He just braced himself for shit to hit the fan.  
“Sariel,” Cas said, striking a tone similar to that of a parent scolding a child. That same tone was the one that he would use when she was young and she knew that he meant business. This was just a little less thundering. This secret was not one that she should be telling him and it didn't make her feel an easier. She sighed, knowing that Castiel was not going to let her out of it.  
“Castiel, my brother. Your grace is stronger, more powerful than what it should be.” More hesitation. “I sensed the feeling of new life, the feeling of a child.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcome. Next chapter will make or break Cas and Dean's relationship.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas comes to terms with Sariel's announcement. And Dean sticks his foot in his mouth. Can he fix it or will he loose his family?

Stunned silence all around. Dean's heartbeat quickened, a torrid of emotion just trying to push past the surface. The internal conflict ran rampant in his mind and heart. On one hand, he was overjoyed to have the chance of being a father; while on the other, the thought of being a father simply terrified him. And like everything else that scared him, the only way he could handle it was by pushing it under anger. But at this exact moment, confusion and curiosity were holding the reins.   
“How exactly is that even possible?” He gestured at Cas. “You're a dude?”   
“Dean, an angel is neither male nor female. We can change our gender how we so choose.” Cas wasn't exactly sure why Dean was asking technical questions rather than being cheerful and excited. The thought that there may be a chance that Dean may not want this child brought Castiel nothing but disappointment and heartache.   
“Wait, you chose this?” His voice was laced with anger and his brow furrowed into a squint of suspicion.   
“No, actually you chose this.” His blue eyes flashed with irritation and sadness at the apparent confirmation of his internal dialogue.   
“How did I chose this?” A snort of derision cut into the angel. Of all the things that could come from his mouth, snarkiness and upsetting sarcasm was not the ones that Cas wanted or needed. It hurt him so deeply, it took a lot to forced down the urge to smite him.   
“When you had you hand dug into that notch in my wing, Dean!” He got right in Dean's face, emitting that Warrior of God stance. “When you thought that you could have power over me! When I gave you all of myself and more! And now you want to throw me away?!”  
“What? What the hell are you talking about?” Now Dean was on the defensive. Sariel stepped between them, taking pity on Dean. She knew what Cas was capable of, especially when he was hurt. Plus, she knew that if he did anything rash while in his anger, he would only regret it.   
“Dean, the notch I believe that Cas is talking about is known as the mating notch. When an angel is in a receptive state, our mate will use this notch to release a hormone that will change our biology and allow the passage of genetic material, along with energy and memory. In a mating pair, one will choose to become the receiver, or mother if you will; while the other will be the giver, or father.   
“Why didn't you say something?” He didn't know why, but somehow making it seem like this was Cas's fault made it easier for him to process his own actions and feelings. This had become a second nature coping method for him over the years, and it was in play again.   
“Because, you were pretty unforgiving at the time,” Cas hissed at him with squinted eyes and clinching fists. “Between your hands and your words, my entire being was screaming for both pleasure and release. I wasn't exactly able to form complete logical thoughts. So, if you want someone to blame, Dean Winchester, you might want to put yourself at the top of the list.”  
Cas may have just succeeded in cutting him as bad as he had cut Cas. It may have even been a balled up fist backed with all the rage and frustration it symbolized. He was left winded and slack jawed. But it seemed to push a piece of the puzzle into place.   
“That fucking asshole!” His hands fisted in his own hair and he gritted his teeth.   
“What?” Sam questioned. All of this was giving him headache and he was wishing that he had a pair of aspirin and maybe a half a bottle of whiskey.   
“That dick Gabriel! He's the one that told be about that damn notch. He told me it was some sort of g-spot for angels. That son of a bitch used his trickster mind bullshit and planned this all out.” Gabriel was lucky that he was dead for his sake. But that didn't stop Dean from wanting to kill him all over again.   
“When the hell did you talk to Gabriel? He's been dead for three years.”   
“Dude, before.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “ I needed some ideas of how to, uh, get in his pants.” A blush come over his cheeks.  
“In his pants?”  
“Shut up!” Dean yelled, smacking his brother hard in the arm. Sam chuckled at Dean. It was great to kick him while he was down. “Now I'm stuck cleaning up his mess.”   
No sooner had the words left his lips, when they were met with Cas's fist across Dean's jaw. The strike had landed hard enough to knock Dean down to the ground. He felt lightheaded and a sharp, piercing pain jumped across his face. It made him remember the beating he took because of wanting to say yes to Micheal. He grasped at the point of impact and tried of rub the skin clear of the aching feeling.   
Sam's gut instinct was to run to his brother's aid, bringing the fight onto him and defending Dean. But he didn't. No, because he firmly believed Dean deserved what he got. What he said was completely inappropriate and blatantly hurtful, even if Dean didn't hear it. It honestly took everything Sam could muster to keep from burst out laughing.   
“What the hell?”   
“Mess!?! What mess, Dean?” Cas shouted. “Our child is a mess and you have to clean it? Gabriel may be a trickster but what he did was to give us a gift, not a mess. My brother saw us being together and being happy. How the hell is that a bad thing?”   
“Cas, I didn't m-” Dean was cut off by the of sound of Cas's wings taking flight. He was gone and it was another crushing blow. This one left Dean feeling like an absolute ass. Yet again someone that he was close to left him and this time it was totally because of him. The only thing that Dean could do was sit there, kicking himself over and over again until his brother came to collect him. Once on his feet again, anger set back in and he bee-lined for the Impala.  
“Dean, stop,” Sam yelled, trying to catch up with him. “Where are you going?” He finally reached the car, slamming the door before Dean could get in. Dean growled in aggravation at his brother's desire to cut him off his progress.   
“I don't know, Sammy.” His voice was broken with anger and confusion and he felt like he was going to hyperventilate. He ran his hand over his face in an attempt to figure out all the things running through his brain. “I just have to find him.”   
“And where are you gonna look? Guy's an angel, he could be anywhere.”  
“Then I'll look everywhere!” He snapped at the younger Winchester. Instantly, his senses over rid his anger and confusion. “I'm sorry, okay? I just …,” he trialed off, unable to finish his thought. “I have to make this right. Somehow.”   
“I know and you will. But he needs time to cool off and you have to give it to him. If you don't, you're going to run him off completely.” Dean knew that Sam was right. But the unadulterated need to fix things, to make things the way they were, still coursed through his veins and bit at the back of his brain. His hands trembled and he honestly felt like he was going to throw up.  
“I will find him.” Sariel handed Sam their summoning supplies, which he took and placed in the backseat. “Castiel's love for you is pure. He will come back to you. But you had better pull your head out of your ass.” Sam chuckled and Dean promptly slugged him in his shoulder. “I mean it Dean. You've buried yourself deep. I can help but I can't fix it. That's entirely up to you.”  
“Thank you.” For a split second, sarcasm and anger gave way to sincere thankfulness. With everything else on his plate, actually having someone that wanted to help just for the sake of helping really gave Dean a boost to his moral.   
“Don't hurt my big brother.” Her tone was a cross between authoritarian and a plea. Dean understood and gave her the slightest of nods. Then she was gone. Only the rustling of wings marked her departure.   
Dean took in the sentiment of what she said. The words rang in his head and his heart ached at how hurt Cas was and how much he hated himself for it. His life never was perfect in any sense of the word; but the last few months with Cas and now with the addition of a baby on the way, it was defiantly headed in the right direction. And he just had to go and fuck it all up.  
“Dean.” Sam's voice snapped him back to reality. He slipped around to the driver's side and got in. Sam followed after, planting himself in the passenger’s. “He'll be back. You just gotta give him some time.” His brother's words hung in the air. They were like a balm used to sooth an open wound. But Sam knew that Dean was berating himself, more so than a normal human being, and usually he was the only one that could help to bring him out of the whipping.  
Dean exhaled and started the car. He flipped on the radio to fill the need of having something in the silence that hung between them. Sam stared out the window and tied to leave well enough alone, while Dean simply hummed to the song that played. He had his car, his music, his brother and right now he clung. He just needed something to cling to while the rest of his world fell apart. I'm so sorry, Cas. There's nothing else I can say. Come back, please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcome. Next chapter Sariel helps Cas see what Dean feels.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sariel tries to fix things between Cas and Dean.

Sariel found Cas sitting on a park bench in the heaven he was most fond of. It was his safe place. He watched as the autistic man flew his kite, unaware of the angels. He had his hands protectively placed on his abdomen. He sensed her approach, but didn't mark it by anything more then a soft sigh.   
“I know you're there, Sariel,” he said rather candidly. She smiled and sat down next to him. Her gaze traveled down to his hands. It was such a small gesture, perhaps one that he may not have even realized he was making, but she found it touching and very human.  
“May I?” He nodded to her and she laid her hand where his had been. A warmth and vibration seeped into her skin, emanating a harmony that sang to her grace of new hope and new life. A life that shouldn't be possible, but here it is bright and shinning.”Brother, you know that this life was created in love and it grows from that love.”  
“Yes, this I know.” He paused as she could feel its energy reach out and stroke Cas's grace. It brought a joyful smile to his lips, one that Sariel hadn't seen in eons, not since she was younger. “I don't understand why Dean would act this way. There is nothing that he values more than family and this child is his family. Why would he think so little of it?”   
“Castiel, Dean does not think little of this child. You must stop and see the world though his eyes. His life has been spent in bloodshed and loss, and never once having anything that was stable or normal. Now he has a chance at having something close to normal, and a child at that, and he can have it with you.” Cas's gaze looked over her face for any answer that would calm his worrying.  
“You taught me about humanity, Castiel, about how they run from change. About how it scares them. Well, its scaring Dean. I saw him after you left. He looked as though his heart had been torn from his chest. All he wanted was to find you and possibly tear apart existence to do it. Family is his world, and you, Sam, and this baby are it.  
The younger angel had never seen her brother so vulnerable. Pretty much her entire life he had been her protector, the soldier, the teacher. Even when he declared himself god, he still treated her with respect and taught her some of the secrets of creation. Now he sat before her, on the brink to tears, afraid. It made her wonder just what Cas actually was, because he wasn't really angel and her wasn't really human. But it just made him all that more wonderful.  
“Why would he say that?” he asked.  
“You have watched Dean for four years. You know that the way in which Dean Winchester deals with fear is with anger. Anger is his security blanket to the world. That's why he said what he did.” She shifted on the bench, turning herself so that she could look at his directly. “Do you remember when I was a fledgling? Every time that I was stubborn or prideful, the patience you showed. You understood, the same as you do now.  
“You did try my patience, quiet often,' he said with a smile smirk on his face. She returned his smile.   
“Castiel, do you love Dean?”   
“With my entire being.” A tear escaped from the corner of his eye.   
“Good, because I know that Dean feels the same way.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “Forgive him and let it be history. You know it will all be fine in the end. Father knows what he's doing.” Cas didn't really trust that last statement, but he know she was right none the less. “Go.”   
“Sariel, you are a wonderful angel.” She smiled at his complement.   
“I had a great teacher.”   
“Thank you, sister.” And with that, she say alone. Resting forward, with her elbows on her knees, she watched the man adjust his kite string in wind. She was glad that she could finally return some of the guidance and patience that Castiel had always givenher.  
But despite that, she was still a wile, little sister and she just couldn't help but play a little joke on her big brother. She had a secret and it wasn't something that she was willing to give up just yet. But she knew that it wouldn't be too soon before he knew it too. So she just sat back and waited. “You're welcome brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcome.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tries to make Cas understand why he's so scared to be a parent. Bridges are mended and, as a bonus Sam gets grossed out.

Cas had appeared in the brother's rented room. He had come in invisible. He wanted to see Dean before he could talk to him, believing that seeing him being might bring out the right words and make this process easier. He also wanted to test Sariel's theory of the way she stated that Dean had behaved after his departure.   
What he found was the elder hunter sitting on the end of his bed. His posture displayed a man heavy with guilt and anger, pleading for the chance to make everything better. To fix it, to save it. He had a bottle of bourbon in one hand and reddened eyes, moist with the tears that the bourbon was trying to chase away. Sam was absent, perhaps to get something for Dean to put in his stomach that wasn't liquid.   
Dean took a swig of the bottle and winced as the liquor stung his tongue. Bourbon was always his drink of choice, a great distracter despite the burning after taste. But tonight even this seemed not to have the desired effect. Another drink from the bottle. Well, maybe it took him getting totally smashed before reality had morphed into something that he had the power to fix. Maybe being drugged and a ghost of a man was what it took for him to keep his mouth shut, to not fuck up a good thing. To bring Cas back to him.  
“Cas.” Swig followed by anger.”Man, I'm sorry. I don't know if you're even listening, if you even care anymore. Come back.” He paused, rubbing his hand over his face. Cas could see the pain and the hurt that lay just beneath the strong facade and he knew she was right. “Cas, I need you.”   
The words struck deep into Cas. Dean Winchester was not a man to say I love you very often, if at all. But Cas knew that when he said he needed him, it was love he meant. Love for him and love for their child. He watched Dean fall back against the mattress, letting out a tired sigh. The bottle fell to the floor, spilling out a little. Dean didn't seem to care and Cas was relieved to see that he was giving up on his self destruction. He didn't want the liquor, he wanted his angel.   
“Dean.” The voice made the inebriated hunter spring up off the bed, only to fall back down with his head spinning. He had only imagined his name coming for the quiet, soft-spoken angel. When his head calmed down he would see this. But no, Cas was truly standing before him. “Hello, Dean.”   
The Winchester was drawn between clocking Cas across the jaw, in return for the strike he had given him, and clipping his wings so he could never disappear like that again. But, the only thing he could do was pull him in, kissing him with all the love and need he could muster.   
“You son of a bitch! Why did you have go wingin' your ass off like that?” He tried to sound angry at Cas's actions, but it only came out sounding relieved and protective.  
“Dean, why did you say what you did?” He needed to hear it from Dean. What Sariel said was a outside observation, not from someone on the ground floor. He wasn't going to play coy or subtle, he didn't care. He just needed Dean's own words to quell him. Dean stepped away, turning his back on the puppy dog eyed angel. He needed to pick his words right, and push his emotions away or he might really fuck up this time. “Dean, please answer me.”  
“Jesus, Cas, what am I supposed to say?”   
“The truth.”   
“The truth?” He laughed at that suggestion. “The truth is my life is shit. Everything I touch turns to shit. It's like I'm fucking cursed.” He snatched the bottle from where it was on the floor, taking a large swig and fighting the anger that raged against himself. “I've lost everyone. I'm used to loosing. Now something truly amazing just drops into my lap. Hell, I'm waiting to loose it too and that scares the living shit out of me. To see this miracle snatched away, I really think that would kill me, I couldn't handle it.   
“Cas, I want to be a dad. I never wanted anything more. But the thought that I would be raising that child in the blood, and the violence, and the bullshit from hunting. I don't want to be my father. I won't.” He took a deep breath and Cas could see the pain and the anger of Dean's memories snap at him before he brought himself back to reality. “I'm sorry I ever made you feel like this. I'm sorry I drove you to leave.” He gripped the nape of Cas's neck and pulled him in for a soft and loving kiss. “I want this and I want you and I want this baby.” Dean's other hand slid up to the angel's lower abdomen. He could feel a surge of rolling energy underneath his fingers and it filled him with a huge sense of pride.   
Cas smiled and kissed Dean back. His own hand came to rest over top of Dean's. When he pulled away, his eyes caught those brilliant apple green iris' of Dean's and he knew from them that the words he spoke were pure and honest. The love, the lust, the heat and passion, the need and want; it all saturated Cas to the core.  
He kissed him again, this time hard and aching. Swept up in the moment, he couldn't stop himself. His hands ran through Dean's hair and forced him closer as his tongue searched out ever corner and crevice of his mouth. Dean's hand wrapped up and under Cas's shirt, probing out for his warmth. They found his protruding hips and clung to them, maybe a bit too much but Cas didn't seem to mind. Then up farther and splaying across the soft skin, his nails dig in again. A moan escaped into Dean's mouth and a gasp for more.  
The angel bit down on Dean's lower lip which extracted a growl from the hunter. As Cas's tongue explored his mouth, his hands explored Dean's body. He pulled Dean's shirt up and over his head, discarding it. He placed one hand in the middle of his back, while his thumb grazed over one of Dean's nipples. It sent a shock wave of desire straight down to his straining cock.  
He grabbed Cas by his ass and picked him up, wrapping his legs around his waist. Dean ran his lips down to Cas's neck and began sucking on his pulse point. His cock rutted up into Cas's ass eliciting deep moans and cries of want from both. Dean could feel Cas's erection press into his stomach and it made him swim deeper in lust.   
But before they could actually relieve their built up frustrations, the door to the room opened. Neither heard the hinges creak over their pants and moans; but when Sam slipped in the room only to see the animalistic behaviors and smell the hang of sex in the air, he slammed the door and abruptly ended the scene.   
“Wow, put a tie on the door or something. Damn!” He threw his arm up to block his view. Cas practically flew out of Dean's grasp, trying to gather himself at Sam's arrival. A flush over took Dean, but, truth be told, this wasn't the first time Sam had walked in on him. Probably won't be the last, either.  
“Damn Sammy. Your hands broken or something? Knock!” Dean huffed, snatching his shirt from the floor and slipping it back on. He was torn between heading to the bathroom and taking care of himself and the smell emanating from the food Sam had brought with him. Finally, the food won out and he flopped down on the bed and began willing his cock to deflate.  
“Why the hell should I knock?” He dropped the bags on the table and tossed the keys to his brother. “When I left, you were alone. I figured that you would be all liquored up by now. Not that I'm not glad that Cas came back.” He smiled at Cas who returned it with a small nod of his head.   
“Thank you Sam.”   
“So, I'm guessing with that little display, you two are all okay?” He asked as he set up his meal.   
“Yeah, everything's good.” Sam thought that he had actually caught a smile play on Dean's lips. It was a rare thing to see, but it was nice when he did.   
As the men sat down to eat, Sam pulled a small brown paper bag out of his jacket pocket and tossed it over to Cas. He caught it and with a puzzled look on his face, opened it   
“I don't know if you need those, but I figured I'd pick 'em up,” Sam said, kinda sheepishly. When Cas pulled his hand out, he held a small black plastic pill bottle with a label that read 'One-a-Day Prenatal Vitamins.'   
“Thank you Sam.”   
“No problem.” He dug into the baked potato in his hand and then stopped and looked at the floor. “I think I'm going to get another room tonight. Give you guys some privacy.” Dean perked up at that. The sooner to get Sam out of there, the sooner he could go back to ramming into Cas.  
“You don't have to do that Sam. Dean and I are more then comfortable with you staying here with us.” Dean rolled his eyes. Of course, Cas would try and get Sam to stay.   
“No, its cool. You two need it, if that show was an indication.” Dean laughed under his breath and shook his head.   
He had to give it to his brother. He would give Dean all kinds of ribbings about his and Cas's relationship; but, in the end, he was totally supportive of it. Sam really did want his brother to be happy and Dean knew it. So he would let the bullshit slide.   
“So,” Sam said, trying to change the subject; “do you think I'll have a niece or nephew?”   
“Don't you think it's a bit early for that?” Dean threw his brother a bitch face as he took another bite from his sandwich.   
“Just curious. I wouldn't mind either.” He finished out his meal when something dawned on him. “Maybe this is the reason when you were brought out of Purgatory?”   
“What do you mean?” Cas's brow furrowed at the question. He had no idea how this baby could possibly have been his redeeming grace from Purgatory.  
“What if this baby is the reason why you got out of Purgatory? I don't know, maybe god has some kind of reason for its birth? I mean how often does an angel get pregnant from a human?”   
“Never. Nephilium were born from human women. An angel never carried a human child. I don't know what this child could do.” A look crossed his face, one of concern, happiness, and pride. The thought that Sam was conveying was one that he had never put any stock in. Now, he really needed some time to consider it proper.  
“So, I'm gonna have a special kid, huh? Awesome!” Dean smiled wide as he popped a fry in his mouth. He was one proud daddy.  
“Well, I'm going to leave you proud daddies to your meal. I want a shower and some sleep, and I'm not going to get it here.” Sam gathered up his things and headed for the door. “I'll see you guys in the morning.”   
“Later, Sammy.” Dean waved his brother out the door.  
“Good night Sam and thank you.” Sam nodded at Cas and headed out. And Dean wasn't wasting any time.   
He reached over and grabbed the back of the angel's head and brought him in for a kiss. He could feel the ache of is cock that was still begging for attention. His other hand brought Cas's hand to rest on top of it. When he pulled back, a devilish grin and a wiggle of an eyebrow gave Cas a strong suggestion.  
“Should we pick up where we left off?” His voice played to Cas's desire.   
“Actually Dean, as much I want to, I am very tired. I just want to rest.” Dean looked disappointed, but he understood. A gentle kiss and a squeeze of his hand to make Cas understood.   
“Sure. How about you get ready and we'll head to bed.” Cas looked at Dean and he could see that he wasn't going to push him if he didn't want to.  
“Are you sure Dean?” he asked, feeling a bit like he was letting him down.   
“Yeah, wouldn't be the first time that I've spent some time with Rosy.” He raised his hand to make sure Cas understood. “ I'll meet you in bed, 'k?”   
“Thank you Dean.” He kissed him and left to gather some things out of the Impala. Dean sighed and sauntered to the bathroom.   
Cas went about cleaning up the room and getting dressed. He had hoped that Dean would be quick about his 'private time', because he really needed the bathroom soon. He wondered to himself what it meant for this kind of thing to happen. It was possible that god had some kind of purpose for this child, as Sam indicated; but that thought just scared the hell out of him. If past experience was any indicator as to what happens to those that serve god's purpose, he could only hope that this child was not one of those people. But, despite all that he had been through, Cas still couldn't extinguish the small glimmer of hope that god still cared, if only momentarily.   
Dean caught Cas staring out into space and couldn't help wondering what he was thinking. His hands were resting on his stomach in a protective gesture, so he knew that it had something to do with their child. But the air that seemed to be leaking out from the angel was laced with anxiety. Dean quietly padded across the room and caught Cas up in his arms, covering his hands with his own.   
“Welcome back to Earth, space cadet. You ok?” Dean ask, placing a small kiss on his neck   
“I'm sorry, I was lost in my own mind. Yes, I'm alright.”   
“Good, cause I don't think I can handle any girly moments right now. I get enough of those with Sam.” He smirked, showing that he was joking though he genuinely cared. Cas just took it in stride. Dean handed him the clothes that Cas laid out on the bed to sleep in that night. “If you're going to get any sleep, you should probably put these on.” He gave him a pat on the ass before flopping down in their bed.  
“Yes, because clothes have stopped your sexual appetites in the past.”  
“Hey, I never once heard you complaining about it.” He stretched himself across the bed, crossing his arms behind his head like a makeshift pillow against the headboard. His face shown a look of arrogance and pride. Cas took a moment to revel in the image of his lover and smile at the beauty of it before he went to the bathroom.  
When he emerged, Dean had the covers folded back for him on the bed, inviting him to join him. Normally, Dean would sleep in whatever he happened to be wearing that day. The only time that ever changed if he had had sex that night, then he would make do with a pair of boxers. But tonight, Dean had decided to wear just his boxers, even though he knew he wasn't going to get any. Cas was strangely comforted by that. He lay down next to the hunter and notched himself right up under his arm, inhaling the smell of his skin.   
Dean could sense the calm that was washing over the angel. It made him feel glad that he could do that to him. He kissed the top of his head and felt him smile. The hand he had wrapped around him began to draw small circles into his hip.   
“Hey, I thought that angels didn't sleep. That was more of a human thing.”   
“It's the pregnancy. In Heaven when an angel becomes pregnant, they will seclude themselves into a section where they will stay until it is over. Our grace splits into the new being and we are both weakened and enhanced and it can be hazardous to other angels. My grace, however, is draining and I am weakening. I can feel it with each passing day. It is likely that by the time it is over, I may be human or at least very close to one.” Cas saddened at that. His eyes lowered, unable to look at Dean out of fear that Dean would feel somehow guilty for it. “But it is alright. I don't know if I will lose my grace or not. Our child will be imbibed with it and for that I am willing to give it up.”   
Despite Cas's efforts, Dean still felt guilty. He was the one that got Cas pregnant, it was him that 'nutted up' instead of just shutting the hell up and now Cas was pregnant and becoming human. He knew how much his grace meant to him and now it was getting drained away. Nice going Dean, you just couldn't keep it in your pants, could you? Through the onslaught of self induced put down, a small worry crept up. No angel, no powers.   
“You're not going out on hunts any more.” The words had a bit of a sting with it, but they needed to be said. Cas was somewhere between angry and hurt.   
“Dean, I-”   
“No, Cas.” Dean cut him off. He cupped his hand around Cas's face and made him look at him. It wasn't the look of happiness that had graced his face before; now, it was a image of uselessness. It snapped its jaws down on the little bit of happiness that rutted in him and that was truly hurtful. But this wasn't something that he was going to argue about. “Look, you are not useless. You are more needed then you realize. And not just because you're an angel. But with you turning human, you're going to loose your powers and your mobility. And if you can't fight, you can't protect our child or yourself. I don't want you out on hunts, you can stay behind, work on research and be safe. You and the baby. You can call me, and we'll spend time when I come back.. But the last thing I need is to worry whether some hell bitch or monster of the week is going to find you and hurt you. I don't want you hurt.” He kissed him. “I need you Cas and you're not going anywhere. Okay?”   
“Alright, Dean.” Cas knew that Dean had a point and he understand it. Despite the sting of being left out, Cas was okay if it meant the baby was safe. He nodded and kissed him again. Dean's hand gently rested on Cas's belly.   
“I do love you Cas.”   
“I love you too Dean.”  
The hunter forced himself to stay in consciousness until he heard the light snores coming from his angel. Then he let sleep take him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcomed. Next chapter Dean and Cas start on the journey of pregnancy.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Free Will is becoming accustomed to the new pregnancy. Things are working out alright, but Dean is worried about Cas's health . So they travel to Dr. Robert for some piece of mind. What they get, however, is something completely unexpected.

The next two months came and went. A werewolf, a few vamps, and a wendigo all bit the dust the same. All while Cas stayed back at the hotel room, now in another city, just another step to stay away from whatever monster they were after. Cas tried to object the first few times, but when his morning sickness hit him hard and fast, his objections ended.   
When Cas began hearing calls through Angel Radio about an angel going missing, he called for Sariel, who informed him the angel in question was Samandriel. When Dean returned, Cas pressed the issue of finding him. Of course, Dean said no; but when Cas told him that Samandriel was one of his younger charges in Heaven and that he cared deeply for the younger angel, Dean made an exception with one condition, he and Sam went too. Truth be told, Castiel didn't need Dean approval or permission for this. He was going to rescue Samandriel no matter what.  
So, when they found that Samandriel was being held by a low level demon that was torturing him for any info on Heaven and the Host that he could get to present to Crowley, Cas tracked him down and wiped him from existence. He got Samandriel out of there before Dean could make a big deal about putting himself in harm's way.   
But once the young angel was back in Heaven and was recouping from his injures, Dean let into the pregnant angel about being more careful and letting him fight the battles instead. Cas put up an argument and it became an all out fight. Finally, when Sam couldn't take it anymore, he stepped in and forced them to settle it. Cas would stay at the motel and work on the research, surrounded by hex bags, and Dean would take care of the creepy crawlies.   
When the morning sickness became too much, Sam worked up a new menu to help with the issue. Healthy foods and vitamins would help bring the indigestion down; however, the cravings would always off set and overpower. Dean would bring back bags of salty and grease infested goodies and Cas would hum them down before thinking twice. Sam complained every time, saying that his niece or nephew needed to have the best to make them healthy.  
However, when the angel started to put on a bit more pudge then just expansion from the baby, Dean decided that they needed to find someone with medical knowledge that could make sure that it was all going alright. The only one that could handle what was happening and that had any kind of medical training was Dr. Robert.   
After an excruciatingly long nine hour drive, interrupted by Cas six times so he could throw up, twelve times for him to pee, and eight times for food; they finally pulled up in front of the Chinese grocer. Upon making it to the top of the stairs, they saw the older man pop his head outside of the door and smile.   
“Dean, how good to see you again. And who is this?” he asked, extending his hand as a warm greeting to the exhausted angel. Cas took it politely.   
“Castiel.”   
“He's actually the reason why we're here. Can we talk about this inside?” Dean know all about letting people who were outside the hunting world hear about the supernatural. And listening ears were everywhere. That was a truly nasty can of worms he was all to happy to leave shut.   
“Absolutely. Come right on in.” He motioned for Dean and Cas to make their way inside. “Make yourselves at home.” He closed the door behind him as they surveyed the room before setting down on the broken down old leather couch the doctor had set up as a “reception” area. “Yes, you mentioned on the phone that he had some kind of affliction.” He leaned up next to the examination table, crossing his arms intrigued by the couple.   
“I'm an angel, I'm pregnant, and I need an examination,” Cas blurted out, not really caring how it sounded or whether of not the doctor was ready for it. Dean was caught somewhere between proud and embarrassed at Cas's brazenness. Dr. Robert had a look of astonishing intrigue cross his face. With everything that had ever crossed his table in his life, an angel had never been one of them, let alone a pregnant one.   
“Okay. Well, congrats, but you do realize I'm not really read up on gynecology? I'm just a general practitioner type.   
“There isn't anything you can do?” Cas asked. He rubbed his side. It was sore from the dive and from the new weight being placed on it.   
“I guess I can give you a basic once over. But I can't promise anything. Generally this examination would be done on women.” He stood up, walked over to his assistant and asked her to retrieve a few items. She left and Robert went back to the couple.   
They went through the motions, checking Cas's vitals (which is a very different animal for an angel) and questions about behavior. But when it came to do the physical examination, the doctor noticed something interesting from running his hands over Castiel's taut belly.   
“Castiel, this is just a guess, but you are measuring large. How far along are you?”   
“About three months. Why does that matter?”   
“Is there something wrong, Doc?” Dean's voice echoed his concern.   
“Well, there's a very big chance that I could be wrong, I've never exactly done this on an angel or a man. But let's check to see, then I'll let you know. Stephany hand me that please.” He pointed to a blue box with a small wand that she had brought back from her mission. She rolled her eyes and handed him the equipment. A glob a jelly on the end of the end of the wand and he placed it against the skin just above Cas' navel.   
Cas jumped a bit at the cold sensation of the jel but gestured to Dean to let him know it was fine. Dean stood over top of him, much like a a guarding mother hen. It was a little overwhelming to the humanizing angel. He took in a deep breath and relaxed his mind. This whole experience was both consuming and joyous and he wouldn't have it any other way. The doctor began to move the wand around and listened at the box. The two couldn't quiet gauge what he was listening for. But when a smile crossed his face, they knew he had found it and that wasn't exactly reassuring.   
“What?” Dean asked, unable to stand the lack of an answer.  
“Listen for yourselves.” He turned up the volume so it was audible for everyone to hear. A faint, yet distinguishable, heartbeat sounded throughout. Dean looked at Cas. His eyes were moistened by rimming of tears. He wouldn't let them escape, though Cas understood deeply how he felt. He extended his weakening Grace out to gently brush against Dean's heart. Dean felt a warm, comforting fervor spread throughout him that he knew was something that only him and Cas shared. His hand rested next to the wand.  
“That's our baby.” His voice broke at his emotion. He couldn't believe that he had actually said those words.   
“Hang on there.” Dr. Robert motioned for Dean to move his hand away, then gently scooted the wand over about four inches and a second heartbeat echoed through the speaker. This heartbeat was faster then the other.   
“Wait, twins?” Shock, total utter shock. One baby was beyond a miracle, but two? A lightheaded feeling washed over Dean and he swayed in his steps. Apparently, cosmically, Dean had just cashed in all of his karma points. He felt like he was going to be sick.   
“Yes, and they both sound like they are healthy and strong.” The wand remained stationary so that the fathers could enjoy their children a little longer. “I suggest reading up on twin pregnancy. Not all the info will be applicable,obviously, but it might help answer some questions.”   
He pulled the wand away ending the sounds and leaving them in silence. They instantly missed the contact but it was alright. It wasn't going to last forever and they would be here before they knew it. The doctor cleaned off the jell, let Cas replace it with his hands. Dean's hand quickly joined them. It was a renewed bonding moment, and one that was defiantly needed. “Let's get ready to go.” He kissed Cas's forehead.   
“Twins, Cas. I can not believe it. Sammy's gonna flip.” He pulled Cas's lips into a gentle kiss. “I'm so proud of you.”   
“I did have help, Dean.” Cas smiled as Dean leaned in to kiss him.   
“I know. Now let's shoot.” He tried to help him off the table, but got scolded. Cas may be pregnant but he wasn't made of glass. He can do things himself. Dean couldn't help but chuckle to himself at how cute the angel looked when he got his feathers all ruffled. Robert motioned for Dean to step aside with him.   
“Thank you, doc. Really.” He handed the doctor some bills to cover his services.  
“My pleasure Dean. I wanted to say before you left. I know your father was never really forward about his feelings with you boys. But I can tell you, he would be very proud of you. He would have been contented to see that you are happy and having any kind of life outside of hunting, despite your unconventional situation. I know it was never really something that he could give you.”   
Those words seemed to wrapped Dean in a blanket of emotion, making him both very touched and extremely uncomfortable. He just wasn't that in touch with his emotions when it concerned his father, with good reason. And given his past history, Dean would never think that his dad would be pleased to see his relationship, let alone even approve of it. He was a little shocked but it really did make him feel good to think he would have his father's approval.   
“Thanks.” He shook Robert's hand and turned his attention back to Cas, who was sitting on the couch. He motioned for him to join him at the door. Cas nodded in appreciation at the doctor before leaving. Dean joined him, waving his departure to the doc, who returned the gesture.   
As Dean pulled the Impala out onto the road, Cas couldn't keep his hands off his belly. The angel was positively glowing, both literally and metaphorically. He skin seemed to have an electric emanation radiating from it and it sent a charge washing throughout the car.   
“Hey, did you know you're glowing?” Dean mentioned while trying to keep his eyes on the road. If it wasn't for the fact that he was driving, he would be all over the glowing angel.  
“Am I?” He looked down at himself. “I didn't even notice.” The glow began to fade as Dean reached his hand over to cup the angel's hand. He didn't say anything, but he really didn't have to. Cas knew everything that he thought and felt. A slight squeeze on his hand and the message was clearly conveyed. “Shall we call Sam and tell him?”   
“Nah, let's make him suffer till we get back.” The hunter smiled at the idea of torturing his brother. Cas started yawning about twenty minutes down the road and Dean made the offhanded suggestion that he lay down in the backseat and rest. No, Cas shook his head, Dean's shoulder would suffice nicely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcomed. Always nice to hear.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas confronts Sariel about her lack of honesty.

They drove like this much of the trip back. When he wasn't asleep, Cas would wake to pee, eat, and throw up. Dean found it peaceful, a time for reflection and reminiscing. He turned on the radio to a soft rock station. Recently, Cas had taken an affinity to Dean's taste in music. The hunter joked that the babies just had their dad's great taste in music, but Cas did truly enjoyed it.   
When they got back to the hotel, it was about 11:30 at night. Dean was tired and he really wanted sleep and a shower. Cas booked it from the car before Dean had a chance to put it in park, making a beeline straight for the bathroom in the hopes that he wouldn't burst before getting there. Sam looked inquisitively back at his brother who had casually strolled through the door with a smug smile plastered across his face.   
“'Bout time you showed up. I've been calling you for the last two and a half hours. What did the doctor say? Is everything okay?” Sam honestly didn't care whether of not Dean understood just how much his nephew or niece. They were his family and family meant the same to Sam as it did to Dean. He cared about Cas, he cared about that baby, and he was pissed that his brother couldn't bother to pick up a damn phone to calm his nerves. But to Dean, Sam sounded more like a mother hen then a manly hunter and that made him chuckle a little. The door swung shut behind him and he pulled off jacket, draping it over a chair.   
“Has anyone ever told you you sound like a damn dotting nanny?” Sam flashed a bitchface at Dean's avoidance of the question. It made him really wonder just how bad the situation was. Because if Dean's avoiding something, its always bad. “Sam, everything's fine.”   
Cas came out of the bathroom, feeling lighter and more relieved. He could see that Dean was playing a game of cat and mouse with his brother. It was a small glimpse into their brotherly relationship and it was heartwarming.   
“Dean,” Cas said, stressing his name so the man caught what he was saying. The elder Winchester winked at his pregnant angel. He knew he should tell Sam, he wanted so badly to tell him; but he just couldn't pass up this opportunity to dick him around a little.  
“What?” Sam felt left out of this whole encounter.   
“The doc said that Cas is healthy, head to toe, despite all the rabbit food you've been trying to get him to eat.”   
“Dean.” Cas's tone turning authoritarian.   
“Alright. Damn Cas, can't a guy mess around with his brother and not get scolded by it? You really need to have some fun in life.” He smiled at Cas, who promptly gave Dean a good smack, “Ouch.” Dean faked injury as he rubbed his shoulder. “Okay. Doc also said that the babies look like they're strong and growing.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and waited to see if the younger would pick up his hint.   
“Babies?” Sam was confused and excited all at the same time. He knew what Dean was saying but it was like it just wouldn't process thoroughly.  
“Yep. We got twins dude!” A huge smile crossed his face and a sudden euphoria enveloped him at the announcement.   
“Congrats.” Sam launched from the bed and caught his brother up in a celebratory hug. “I can't believe it.” He released Dean and turned his attention to Cas. His hug was quick and gentle. “Sorry.” He nervously back away.  
“Sam, its alright. The children are safe. You couldn't possibly hurt them.” He gave the younger Winchester a slight nod and walked over to give Dean a quick kiss. “Do you think you could get something to eat? I'm starving.”  
“Hell yeah. Eats sounds excellent.”   
“Please get something deep fried and salt coat.” Cas licked his lips in anticipation.   
“Kids got some good tastes already.” He wrapped his arms around Cas's waist and pulled him in for another kiss. Sam had grown accustomed to these public displays of affection. He actually enjoyed seeing Dean happy.   
“Sam, why don't you go with Dean? You could probably use the time to catch up. I am more than capable of staying here alone.”   
“Are you sure, Cas?”   
“I may be pregnant. I am not handicapped. I am still an angel and can protect myself.” Despite their well meaning, the coddling and the over protection from both of them was beginning to make the angel uncomfortable and agitated. “  
"Alright, turn down the smitty voice. We'll go. Call me if you need me,” Dean said. Part of him wasn't comfortable leaving him alone but Cas was more then capable of taking care of himself, pregnant or not. His stomach rumbled, distracting his mind and making the need for food began to overwrite his concern. Sam would be a welcomed help to carry in the bags so dragging him along wasn't such a bad thing. Besides, he figured that Castiel would probably enjoy the time alone.  
“I will be fine Dean.” Dean finally relented and made his way to the door. When he heard the engine of the Impala roar to life and head out of the parking lot, he set himself down on the bed. He sensed around the surrounding area, not picking up anything sinister but sensing something of celestial origin. He knew immediately who it was just from the shift in the energy. “Sariel, I know that you knew about the twins.” He sighed, the sound of rustling wings as she entered the room. “I'm not angry with you.” The younger stood before him. She sought out any anxiety or frustration on his face and when she found none you sat down beside him. He could feel the gentle surrounding of her wings brush against his own and it brought back memories of old. He looked at her with a small smile on his face, inviting her hand to touch him. She didn't need to touch him to feel the fluidity of the Grace inside of him, but this was more of a gesture of solidarity. “Why didn't you tell us?”   
“Castiel,” she said with a sigh; “when I was younger, I admired you. I looked up to you for guidance and understanding. You were my older brother and, even to this day and despite all of the mishaps along the way, I still look up to you. I have watched you sacrifice time and time again. Over your orders, over your beliefs. You worried over the younger angels, myself, and that worry spread to your charges, to humanity itself. You worry and you care even when no one else does.   
“When you rebelled, I believed that it was not out of some selfish pride or sinking desire, like Micheal and Raphel preached to us. I knew that it was out of your need to care. You do care, more then you should. That's why you stopped the apocalypse, stopped Raphel's petty war. That is why you took Sam's illness and why you risk your life over and over for Dean.   
“How many times have you laid your life down for the humans and angels you care about? You've given up on your title and acclaims in Heaven, on your home there, on the kin that you called family, even on you own hard wiring. Everything that you've ever known. Your ability and will to care trumps over everything.   
“Castiel, you have made mistakes. You unleashed the Leviathans out of Purgatory, but you fought and returned them. You served your punishment and repented your mistakes. Brother, you deserve to be happy. Out of all of us, you the most of all.” Castiel knew she spoke the truth, though he still believed he wasn't worthy of it. His eyes stung with the salty tears welling within them, but he didn't want to show her any of his weakness. His eyes fell to the floor instead. “I didn't tell you about the twins because that was a joy that you needed to share with your mate, not directly your sibling. It was not my place to tell you.” He looked back up at her, with a brief tear run down his cheek.   
“Sister, hearing that news from you would have made it that much more significant. I would have openly welcomed it.” The compliment made Sariel's own Grace swirl in appreciation and joy. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to revel in it long. She could hear a call searching out for her. Cas couldn't hear it, but he knew from the way that she seemed to tune out momentarily what it meant.   
“Castiel, as much as I love spending time talking with you, I have some business that must be attended to. I have to go.”   
“Of course.” He caught her hand as she went to stand. “Sariel, you are the last family that I have. I invite you to visit whenever you like or are able to.” He stood and embraced her tightly, allowing his Grace to slightly brush against hers. And with his Grace that of the two tiny children. The two fragile, little beings, clinging to their father for their very existence, had such bright and vibrant Graces.   
“Thank you, brother.” A soft smile showed that the invitation was accepted wholeheartedly. She had meant what she said about enjoying their time together. After the war in Heaven with Raphel and believing that Castiel was dead, Sariel never thought that she would spend time in his company again. She was overjoyed that she was proven wrong. “I will and if you do need me, simply call. I will be here. However, no I must go.”   
“Be well, my sister.” A rush of wings and Cas was once again alone in the room. The silence was welcomed. It wrapped around and comforted him. Void of his thoughts and worries, Cas could just enjoy his happiness. In the midst of his calm reflection, he could hear the Impala's engine roaring into the parking lot and it made his stomach growl at the thought of food rapidly approaching.   
And by food, it was much closer to a feast. Five bags worth. The next hour was spent conversing and enjoying each others company. Despite Dean's exhaustion, he manged to actually relish his brother's dumb jokes and sometimes whiny personality without passing out or starting an argument. Cas was able to keep most of the dinner down, with was a milestone of itself, and subdue his craving.  
Sam ducked out of the celebration first. He needed some sleep. The room that he had gotten after they came back was just a couple of doors down. After wishing good nights around, he left the hunter and his angel to sleep. Dean managed to get himself into the shower and pull a pair of boxers on before he collapsed into the bed, pulling Cas tightly next to him. The night ended with a kiss and some well deserved cuddling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcomed. Next chapter we see how the boys handle the domestic side of life.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the effects of Cas's pregnancy begin to show themselves, so too does the rapid need for new clothing. Sam needs some reassuring and some time to think about his own relationship status. And Cas is all too happy to help.

Two weeks later, Cas's nausea began to subside and he set to eat everything in sight. His main craving seemed to be sweet and salty. Anything that was one or the other, or preferably both, had Cas clambering to find it. And when it was something that was both, well let's just say, Dean should have gotten out of the way faster. Sam had made a mention that maybe the babies got their sweet tooth from Gabriel, to which Dean snorted and said they just loved pie like their father.  
After the nausea had ended, it was replaced by Cas's sexual drive. It not only kicked in, it hit Cas like a punch in the gut. Anytime Dean was around, Cas couldn't keep his hands to himself. Most of the time, Dean was winded, sweaty, and sated. Sam actually said that, apart from having to make himself scarce a lot of the time, Dean and Cas should be having sex all the time. It made Dean less of an asshole, to which Sam was quickly slugged. Even when the brothers were out on a case, Dean could always count on a nightly (or even mid-afternoon) call from his lover. Dean wasn't ever big on phone sex, but Cas needed it and who was he to say no to him?   
At the beginning Dean was hesitant about having sex while Cas was pregnant, thinking that he might cause harm to him or the children or even send Cas into labor. Castiel reassured him that no matter what they did, the children were not going to be harmed. And there wasn't no way that he was going to go into labor, not with the way that angel pregnancies work. All it took was one wild and exhausting night and Dean never had another word to say on the matter. In fact after that Dean was, more or less, jumping at Cas's call.  
Sometime between Cas's fourth and fifth month, the patriarch of the Winchester clan came crashing into their lives through a closet door, bringing a powerful demon named Abaddon as a party favor. They were able to subdue the bitch and hack her into pieces, pitching her into the cement foundation of some high rise that was set to go up. Unfortunately, Henry didn't make it out alive, but he left his grandsons with a renewed sense of family and belonging that they so desperately needed. He also left them with their legacy and new and permanent home, the Men of Letters bunker.   
The day that they entered that bunker, Dean regained something that was stolen from him the night his mother died, somewhere that he could put down roots and call his own home. He was ecstatic to set up his own room; with his favorite weapons, personal items and the only items he still had from his life before the nightmare began. Even Cas was excited for the opportunity to have a home since his loss of Heaven. It was a reassuring measure that he now had a place that he could have a permanent place to birth and raise his children that he knew would be safe. He began searching out rooms that could be used as his own, in spite of Dean's downright demanding that he stay in with him. He just wanted to have a fall back if they had an argument or something. He also found a room that could be used as a nursery, it just needed to be cleared out and cleaned.   
Sam was the only one that seemed to be resistant to the idea that this was or could be his home. He had never had a home that was functional or stable and he wasn't going to sink his hopes into thinking that this was going to be any different. Unlike setting up a room like his brother, Sam spent his time rummaging through the archives and years of research materials. He wanted to soak up as much information as possible for when they would have to leave. However, he would indulge himself from time to time in discussions about the nursery with Cas.  
Dean wouldn't let Cas help with any moving or cleaning. He kept fussing over his lover, saying that he should enjoy getting out of it. Cause once the kids were born, he'd be back at it again. He joked, mostly to stop Cas's argument, but he really was doing it to help the angel out. Cas's Grace was minimal and the pregnant state of his body was swollen, sore, and large. Dean just wanted him to relax and take it easy.   
With his belly getting larger by what seemed like the minute, Sam took pity on Cas and decided he needed new clothes. The ones he had wouldn't fit over his belly or were so constrictive that Sam couldn't understand how he could breath. Dean agreed but opted to stay behind and do some research for their most resent case. Secretively, Dean knew how uncomfortable and how separated Sam felt in this whole pregnancy thing. This would be good for both of them.   
As they made their way towards Lebanon, Cas felt the overwhelming desire to say something. But he was drawn by whether or not it was appropriate. Granted, Sam was more open about talking about his feelings than his brother and that would be a plus in Cas's favor. However, it was unclear how Sam might take what he wanted to say.   
“Thank you, Sam,” Cas said.   
“Hey, its not a problem, Cas. You're about to pop out of your clothes. And I wouldn't want Dean to dress you.” He laughed to himself as he remembered back a few of the more questionable choices that Dean had picked out for him when he was younger. Cas re-angled himself so that he was facing more towards the younger Winchester. “That's not what I meant. I mean to thank you for everything that you have done so far. Far talking to Dean in the first place, even though you weren't entirely comfortable with it; or taking our intimate activates in stride. Most importantly, you have been supportive of this pregnancy. It means more than what I could express to both myself and Dean.”   
“Cas, I -”   
“If it hadn't have been for you, Dean and I would still be unable to speak about the emotions that burned under the surface and these two tiny lives wouldn't exists.” He sighed, more to ground himself. “Thank you Sam."  
The words spoken buzzed in the hunter's ears and down into his core. He understood the weight and the emotion that was laced through them and it made them that more important. He could feel the catch in his throat as he attempted to swallow. On the day that Sam had chosen to forcefully push Dean into his own feelings and make a decision, the current reality wouldn't have even entered his mind as the outcome. But that didn't make it that less important of special. He wanted Dean to be happy and to have family apart from him and now he did.   
“You're welcome.” He shot him a quick smile without taking his eyes too far off the road. He tried to show him how much that meant to him. Cas shifted in the seat, appearing uncomfortable in his sitting. It wasn't because of Sam, more because of the way a foot began to push against his rib insistently. Sam's brow furrowed at Cas's obvious discomfort. “Everything okay?”   
“Yes. The children are just moving around and it is causing me some discomfort. I think they are trying to signal lunchtime. Do you mind if we stop and get something to eat before we go shopping?” “Yeah, sure.” Sam hesitated a moment He chewed on his bottom lip, swaying between keeping his mouth shut and asking what he wanted. He wasn't sure if it was even in the sphere of being alright. Cas still had he ability to read body language and ques. He could sense the indecision that Sam was debating on something. Maybe he would ease his mind.   
“Sam, would you like to feel them?”   
“No, Cas. I couldn't. That's something that is special between you and Dean. He should really have that opportunity before me.” He smiled at the angel. “Besides, I'll hold them after their born.”  
“He already has. Besides, they are your family and I believe that they would like to hear and feel the comforting touch and voice of their uncle.” He paused, gauging the hunter's reaction. “Sam, it is alright.”   
Even though he was still having second thoughts and feelings about stepping over lines, he buried his objections away. With a somewhat strangled sigh and his curiosity was strong enough, he reached his hand over to Cas's belly. For a moment or two he didn't feel anything, just the warmth of Cas's skin. He was beginning to think that might be a sigh to move away. But his thoughts were scrambled when he felt the forceful push of a tiny limb against his hand. He smiled at the feeling and secretly begged for it to happen again. When he was answered with one then two and a third kick, he felt a sudden warmth spread through him and his heart flutter a bit. He couldn't think of anything that could possibly express what he was feeling. He could only muster an appreciative nod in Cas's direction.   
“Thank you,” he said, when he was finally able to speak. He removed his hand and returned it to the steering wheel.  
“You're welcome.” Cas shifted again. This trip was really becoming one of endurance. “We need to stop soon or I may burst.”  
“Yah, I'll find a gas station.” About half a mile down the road they find a small off the road gas station. Cas managed to make it to the bathroom before ruining Baby's interior. He knew he would never hear the end of it from Dean if that happened. After the angel was done and a few confused looks from patrons, they headed into town and stopped off for some lunch.   
On the way back, the two discussed Amelia. Sam told him about how she would make him breakfast and how they would go for walks everyday, playing fetch with their dog. Cas purposed the idea of getting back together with her, about explaining his life to her. The hunter argued that they didn't leave on the best terms and that she wouldn't want to deal with this life. But most of all, he didn't want to put her in danger. The angel made the case that Sam deserved to be happy, the same as Dean, and that he believed she would come to terms with his life and the dangers there in. So, hey, why not?   
The shopping trip ended with a whole new wardrobe for Cas and new connection between them. He was glad that Sam didn't feel like an outside now that there were going to be two additions to the family. Besides, no one was ever going to take Sam's spot in Dean's heart. Dean was glad that he could finally get Cas into something other then that monkey suit he insisted on wearing for a while. The jeans and t-shirts that were picked out matched Dean's fashion sense. To the point that Dean wondered if the pair hadn't had him in mind when they were picked out. But since they were going to fit Cas until after his pregnancy ended, Dean really couldn't argue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments always welcomed. Hope you enjoyed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the brothers go out on a routine hunt, Sam decides to rekindle things with Amelia. This leaves Dean with a pregnant and highly temperamental angel. A well needed wing grooming and a few broken coffee cups later, Dean decides to show Cas how much he matters to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was difficult for me to write. But it turned out to be my favorite one. I would be lying to say that I didn't actually cry a little at it. I wanted to put a lot of emotion into it. So I hope that you like it as much as I do. Enjoy.

Another two weeks had the brothers out on a ghoul hunt, a small vamp nest, and a pretty pissed of poltergeist. Cas stayed behind in the bunker. His nesting instincts were on high alert; cleaning, organizing, and preparing for the coming children. His mood swings were coming faster then the wind and Dean couldn't say that he missed dealing with them in person. The toaster and the coffee pot met a terrible end one minute, the next minute Cas was sobbing to himself about how ugly he looked. It was enough to drive a man insane. When the anxiety from missing his lover hit, the calls that were left on Dean's voice mail had Dean thinking that they needed to end the hunt early and head back.  
In addition to the mood swings, being tired, always having to pee, the sore and aching body and the engorging belly; the angel's wings were now front and center all the time. He didn't have enough mojo and control on them to keep them concealed. And to make matters worse, now he couldn't even groom them anymore because of his disagreeable state. So when Dean returned almost three weeks later, Dean was met by a tired, disheveled angel and a coffee cup aimed at his head. He ducked and the cup shattered on the wall behind him.  
“You bastard! You did this to me!” Cas yelled while his wings flayed behind him.“What the hell, Cas?!?"  
“You did this to me! Look at me. I'm swollen, my entire being hurts, I can't decide whether I'm hungry or angry or happy, plus I'm tired all the time.” His wing reached out and smacked the hunter on the side. Dean could see the uneven feathers and the clumps of what looked like grease littered throughout. “And to make matters worse, I can't even groom my wings. I look disgusting.” He turned away, just to turn around and whip another mug at Dean. “And it's all your fault!”  
“Jesus Cas, quit throwing stuff at me!” He stepped forward to catch Cas's hands before he could pick something else up. “You're not disgusting. You're pregnant, you're hormonal, and you're uncomfortable. You are definitely not disgusting.” He pulled him in and gave him a much needed kiss. The tension that seemed to radiate of the angel slipped away. “Now, you need your wings cleaned. What do I do?”  
“Dean,” Cas sighed; “It's not that easy. An angel's wings have to be groomed daily. It helps with our flights and cleans them of dead feathers, much like combing your hair. If it's not done, well, you can see what happens.” He waved at his wings with a frown on his face. This was not the way he wanted tonight to go. “Only mates are allowed to touch each others wings. It's a very private and sensual act. I'm used to only cleaning them myself, so I am unaccustomed to have anyone else touch them.”  
As Cas turned to walk away from the hunter, his long rumpled primary feathers drug along the floor. Even in their present state, Dean still couldn't stop staring at them. It wasn't the first time that he say them; but with their enhancements from the pregnancy, they looked velvet and silk. If they were cleaned and organized, they would be down right breathtaking. Dean made up his mind, walking out the to the entryway tables. He sat down and pulled a chair out in front of him.  
“Get out here, Cas.” Castiel poked his head out of the door and into the adjoining room. He could see Dean sitting down and motioning to the chair to which the angel just cocked his head. “I mean it. Get over here. I'm your mate and this is my freakin' job.” Cas smirked at the idea but he was actually a bit nervous about the idea. He knew how Dean could get when he was running on alcohol and adrenaline. Tender defiantly wasn't a word you'd use. Dean rolled his eyes. “Look, you're obviously in pain because of this. So, you can get your cute ass over here and let me fix it or you can wonder around here and whine about it. Just don't think you're going to throw any more mugs at me.” He patted the chair in front of him as a gesture.  
“Will Sam be alright with this? Are we in his way?” “Nah, I don't think he'll care. He's in Texas, visiting that Amelia chick.” Cas smiled at the fact that the younger Winchester had taken his advise and sought to mend fences with his lost love. “Now, over here.”  
Cas rolled his eyes and begrudgingly walked towards his seated lover. He was too tired and too disquieted to argue about it. He turned the chair so that his unimpeded back was on display to his lover. He could feel a small shiver creep up his spine at the mere idea of what Dean was going to be doing. He extended the pair out on either side of him. Their length took up the whole span of the room.  
It felt good to have the appendages stretched out, instead of closed and confined. A sizable flap to spread each of his feathers out caused a wind in the room and sent some of the loose feathers flying into the air. A few of the lower primary feathers brushed along the side of Dean's cheek by accident. Dean was proud that he could call such a beautiful creature his. Cas was his angel, his lover, his mate, who was carrying his children. Only his.  
The wings were even more majestic close up. Dean carefully ran his fingers through the downy feathers that dusted around the skin adjoining the connection of the wings with the shoulder. A deep moan escaped from Cas's throat. He shifted in his seat and Dean could tell that was a sign.  
“Do you like that?” Dean asked, cheekily.  
“Angels wings are extremely sensitive. You know that. I want to get this over with. Please.” His tone reflected the miserable state he was in. The last thing he wanted to do was put up with any of Dean's smart ass comments.  
“Alright. Pull your panties out. Now what am I doing exactly?”  
“Near the bone, in the back, there are two small glands. They excrete an oil that needs to coat the feathers. Every feather and you need to pull out all the dead and detached feathers. Just smooth everything down.” He shot his a look over his shoulder, like 'screw this up and I knew of a lot more mugs I can pitch at you.'  
“Okay, that doesn't sound so bad.”  
“Dean, just please be careful. Be gentle.” Again that shaky tone crept into his words, and Dean caught it. He knew that with everything else going on with the pregnancy and with Dean's absence, this was just more stress. He rested his chin on Cas's shoulder and pulled his arms around his body. Being careful of his wings, he gently ran his fingers over the taught skin of his belly in a massaging manner. A small, loving kiss on the shell of Cas's ear and he could feel some of the anxiety leave his body.  
“It's going to be okay. I'll be as gentle as I can. Don't I always take care of you?” Cas settled down and relaxed enough to drop his shoulders and let Dean go to work. He pulled one of his wings back so that Dean could work on it. The fifteen feet of plumage was a bit daunting but it wasn't the hardest thing he had ever done.  
Softly, Dean found the glands that Cas had mentioned and slathered his hands in the oil, before running it along the hard bone and down to the end of first outer primary feather. Cas's whole physical being shook to the point of actually knocking Dean off his balance. That had never happened to him before and it left him slightly unnerved.  
Despite the imperative at hand, Dean couldn't help but get a surge of ego from the sounds and the quivers that came from his lover. He smothered out a smile out of respect for him. Deciding that one handful of the slick oil wasn't nearly going to be enough, he slathered up some more and made for the secondary feathers. His gentle touch and his keen eye made sure that each and every feather received delicate individual attention.  
Cas was moaning and groaning, growling each time Dean would catch upon a particularly sensitive spot. And though he knew that Cas probably wasn't in the mood for any amorous activities, it didn't stop the noises he was making to surge straight to Dean's dick. Just the thought that Cas was utterly contented from his actions and the picture of those noises being made in another context, made the restraint of his jeans painful at best.  
Once the grooming was finally completed, the elegance and majesty of the freshly groomed, pregnancy enhanced plumage shown proudly. After everything he had seen in his lifetime, it didn't hold a candle. When Cas stood up and shook up his stiffened limbs, Dean stood back and drank in all of his beauty.  
A warm, loving and longing sensation overtook Dean from the sight that Cas was presenting. His radiant pregnancy glow, the shimmering blues and greens cascading across his newly polished wings and the sense of tranquility striking his piercing sapphire blue eyes. It was one that Dean rarely witnessed, but when he did it overwhelmed him.  
“What?” Cas asked. He could feel the hunter's eyes covering every inch of his body. Dean pushed the chair out of the way and placed a loving kiss on his smiling lips. When he pulled away, he could read all the love and admiration Cas had written across his features.  
“You just don't know how beautiful you are, do you?” God, that was probably the most chick thing he had ever said, but he meant it. Cas couldn't hide the blush that pinked his features. Dean never spoke like that, but when he did Cas liked it. He took Dean's lips in his again own to show that he appreciated the sentiment.  
“Thank you, Dean. I feel so much better.” Again he flapped his wings, pushing the feeling of relaxation through them.  
“Well, I'm glad.” As Dean moved to walk away, a hand on his bicep stopped him cold and brought him around again.  
“I missed you Dean. I hate when you have to leave.” He stepped into the hunter's personal space and nuzzled up into his neck. His arms stretched around his midsection and pulled him as close as he could get him, in spite of his ever enlarging belly. “And I hate that I have to stay here. I feel so useless, always sore or tired. I can't heal, I can't help. What good am I?” Dean's heart felt like it was breaking at Cas's admittance. His hands slid back up under the feathers to find that oh so sensitive spot at the wing joint and rubbed it in an attempt to comfort his lover.  
“You know that I will always come back to you. How could I not?” he whispered as his fingers went farther out, combing through the glistening black feathers. A deep whimper escaped from the exhausted angel. “Not when I have you.” Dean placed little kisses and love bites along the angel's jaw. Cas closed his eyes and let the feeling his lover was creating envelop him. Dean pulled back and gently rested his forehead against Cas's. “Castiel,” He whispered. His name brought him out of the daydream he had escaped into. The apple green eyes of his mate met him. “I want to make love to you.” He cupped his stubbled jaw, resting his thumb just on the indented cleft.  
“Dean, we always have sex when you come back.” “No, Cas, I want to make love to you. Slowly, passionately. I want to make you feel so special. To feel how much I truly love you and need you.” He ghosted his lips over Cas's and sent chills running up his spine. Dean could see how it made his wings shake.  
He never spoke like that before, never such honest and beautiful words. He had told Cas that he love him, and it was true, but this was something different. Something special and profound, almost mystical and pure. Cas could feel the sincerity, not lustful but devoted.  
Dean ran his thumb along Cas's bottom lip and felt the raw electricity that seemed to chase after the roughened skin. Cas closed his eyes and savored the feeling.He needed Cas as much as Cas needed him.  
“Will you let me do that Cas? Will you let me show you just how much I love you?” His voice was meta tone, yet loving and innocent. The way he spoke now made Cas melt, feeling like he was nothing if Dean wasn't with him. The soul that he gripped tight was now what held him so tenderly. It melted through all of his pain and anxiety. And the look that eminented from those piercing eyes was a pure desire to give Cas the world and show him what love was on a human level.  
Yes was the only word that escaped the angel's lips, so soft and so quiet that anyone could barely hear it. With that, Dean gently took hold of Cas's hand and led him back to their bedroom. After shutting the door behind them, he tenderly pulled Cas close to him. The heat between them flushed Cas's cheeks. Dean removed his own shirt, dropping it carelessly to the floor. Skin pressed to skin and it felt like the air had become electrified. They held each other, ignoring the world around them and feeling their energies inner twine. A calloused hand cupped the angel's jaw, pulling him into a slow and delicate kiss. No teeth, no tongues, no fight for domination. Their mouths worked together in tandem, passing unspoken messages of desire and passion. Cas could briefly feel when a hand warped around his waist. It pulled him in tighter and tighter, almost wanting them to create a single being. Cas grasped onto it, almost if he let go somehow he might drop from the edge of the world.  
A tiny light from a solitary candle illuminated the emotion driven lovers. It cast an otherworldly ambiance upon them, carrying them into a world of their own love. Dean could feel a warming pass through him and connect to his soul. It pushed him into an ultimate high, wanting him to make this all that more special for his mate. He withdrew his hand from the flush skin of Castiel's cheek and delicately engulfed it within the velvety feathers, stroking and caressing each one. It sent out ripples of comfort and security his beloved. Cas couldn't help but let his eyes close, tuning out all of his other senses and only focusing on the feeling that was coursing through his body. His skin tingled and his head swam. But, as Dean's ministrations made it into the clustered feathers along the bony ridge, Cas almost collapsed into him and he saw Cas completely let go and give it all to him.  
Total open trust. Nothing between them. Nothing held back and nothing unspoken. Never had Dean ever had anyone ever given that to him. It made his heart ache, a pain of something so right. All of the pain, the anger, the mistrust; all gone. That Cas trusted him, trusted his actions, his words; it almost gave him a high. And now he had the most power being in all of creation melting into him, it wetted his eyes. He felt as though he might break down in tears right then and there.  
“I love you Castiel. More then anyone or anything in my life. With all my heart and all my soul. I want to spend the rest of my life just loving you. I could never imagine not having you, not having these kids. And I can't remember a time before you.” Cas's eyes opened, blue connecting with green in pure emotion. A single tear rolled down Dean's cheek and Cas could see the soul of the righteous man laid bare. He could feel it in his own Grace.  
No macho facade, no witty comebacks, no trying to be strong for someone. This was the Dean Winchester that lay beneath all the bullshit. It wasn't the fighter, the destroyer of monsters. It wasn't the brother, the protector. It wasn't the son, the dutiful soldier. It wasn't the sword, the weapon of angels. It was Dean Winchester, the man. His mate, the man that showed him that he could be separate from Heaven and ignore the orders and the dogma. Who gave him the realization that he had choice and the option and the safe place. This was the man who gave him his children. His everything.  
Cas reached out and pulled him into another long, emotional kiss. His wings cocooned around the lovers, symbolically shielding this moment from the world. He wanted nothing more then to stay like this forever. To not have another living soul, Heaven or Earth, corrupt this beauty.  
The bed engulfed Cas wonderfully, allowing Dean the opportunity to see the entirety of his lover. He knelt down at the angel's feet and ceremoniously removed his socks and shoes. He place a small kiss on both ankles before looking back up to see Castiel looking right back at him. Speaking not a word, they passed anything that needed to be said in their own unbroken communication. There truly was nothing to say. There were no words that could encompass the longing and need, both emotionally and lustfully, that their had for each other. Love was just a word. But the raw emotion that was what was surging and pulsing through them, that was enough to rip from them in a torrent of unbridled need. It stung their skin and caused their hairs to stand on end. It was what caused their hearts to beat faster when they touched.  
Neither had ever experienced to have such a powerful connection, an unbreakable bond. The bond that was forged in Hell, tested by Heaven, choked by the Leviathans, and saved from Purgatory. The true connection of Heaven and man. Their connection. Their bond.  
Dean's hand laid protectively on Cas's distended belly. He could feel the tiny lives growing inside, reaching out to react to their father's touch. These precious creatures were something Dean would ultimately sacrifice his existence for, just to make sure they were safe. With everything already taken, he would just as soon die for all eternity, then to see harm come to Cas or their children.  
He lowered down to place his ear to the warm skin, hoping to hear their petite heartbeats. He was met with a kick to his jaw. He simply smiled at the gesture and placed a loving kiss to the spot. He continued with kisses all over the belly as Cas's fingers ran through his hair. Sitting back on his knees, he again saw his whole world stretched out before him. Cas's raven black wings were draped across the bed and floor. They were relaxed, with Cas in the middle. Against the silky, prismatic onyx feathers, the angel's pearl-like skin seemed to radiate like moon against the background of night sky with the light of the candle dancing ever so playfully against his features. Dean could only wonder how he got so lucky.  
His face was not sexual, not lust blown and greedy. He, instead, had only a look of sweet innocence and pure joy dancing across his face. His ocean blue eyes held nothing but reverence and longing for the man looking down at him. Nothing made Dean more proud than the thought that Cas was his and his alone. That he was the one that brought the angel happiness and pleasure.  
Dean stood and removed the remaining clothing on them both and leaving them bare and open to each other. Neither hid or covered themselves. There was not need for that. Dean loved how Cas looked, nothing about him could be grotesque or ugly. He wished that Cas could always be like this, naked and open, no shame or self consciousness. Simply perfect. Castiel saw the awe and fascination reflected in those burning green orbs. He saw the beauty and awe in his father's greatest creation. He had always wished that Dean could see himself the way that he did, pure and wonderful. He would always gave himself over wholly and unabashedly, unafraid and unwavering to him. In every from, in every need, knowing that no one came between them.  
With Dean's own clothing gone, he returned to the silken skin of his mate. He placed kiss after kiss along every inch of skin he could reach. He worshiped and adored. Gradually, he made his way back up towards the awaiting lips that praised him on his journey. They met with such fervor and enthusiasm, both thought they may devour the other. They wetted each other, tongues sliding and caressing each other. They fought for dominance, though not really finding it. They were more happy simply tasting and enjoying each other. When they finally pulled away, Dean chased after his breath. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and brought him down towards him.  
“Dean, please,” he whispered; “I need you.” His voice dripped with lust and cracked with want. The need to have Dean touch him was pushing him towards insanity. Not just from lust but also from devotion. He placed tiny kitty kisses along the rough cheek of the Winchester's face as he pushed his enlarged cock into the curve of Dean's hip. Dean moaned at the combined sensation but couldn't stop himself from smiling. He couldn't deny Cas's anything.  
He placed a small pillow underneath Castiel's hips for comfort before setting to work preparing him. He retrieved pulling a small bottle of lube from the dresser. Dean put a small amount on his fingers and warmed them up. They gingerly traveled down as he dotted kisses along the column of the angel's throat. Finding what he was after, Dean slowly pushed inside. A whimpering moan escaped Cas's lips and his wings trembled slightly at the touch. He loved when Dean took it slow. It showed that he cared about his lover's pleasure and not just his own.  
“You're so beautiful. Do you know that Cas?” His breath hot and calming on Cas's skin. “You are the only one that I ever want. The only one I ever want to have in my bed, in my heart. I know that I suck at the whole feelings thing, but I never had anyone like you before. Someone that stayed with me through everything. Someone I would trust with every part of me. Someone who looks past the broken and damaged package and still loves what he see. Someone like you Castiel. No matter what you say, I will always be right here with you.” Cas was disappearing. He was lost in Dean's words. To the point that he forgot what he was doing to him. Dean could see the tears that danced on the edge of his lashes, the tears he wanted so badly to share with him. “I don't really believe in god, but I can honestly say that I pray every day that I am go glad that I have you.” Cas turned and captured Dean's lips in a passionate, burning kiss.  
“Dean.” No other name would ever mean so much. Not in the whole of existence, not to Castiel. He kisses him again, needing nothing but his lips forever. Dean flipped them around, perching the angel above him. Even in this position his hips shifted back in between Cas's, slotting together like puzzle pieces. Like they were made for one another, in spite of the enlarged belly. Dean stared right into those lust blown and red rimmed azure blue eyes as Cas slowly enveloped himself around his lover. His wings opened wide behind him. The high he was flying went beyond anything that Heaven could over. Cas allowed small moans and whines cross his lips as he swam in his ecstasy. As much as Dean wanted to throw his head back and howl to the ceiling, but that would mean allowing his eyes to fall from the glorious sight above him. He wanted to see the beauty of Cas in the deep thralls of passion. His pupils blown wide, lips gasping for air, moans of yearning escaping his throat; he never got tired of seeing it.  
The love of the Host was somehow dwarfed in this moment. In Heaven, love was an object to be watched, not experienced. They never tried to or they were too scared to. Angels mated and moved on. It wasn't for love, but for procreation. And the love that angels had for god was a programming, an instinct. But as the love that Humanity had once pulsed through him, Dean's love for him now did, and Castiel felt for the first time to be truly alive and impassioned. Unbridled, unashamed, and unconfined. The angel's hands ran over his chest, settling over his heart and soul. The touch of his skin made it so intensely real. It was powerful and Cas never doubted for a second that  
Dean's love for him was something this monumental.  
Dean gave it freely and openly. He poured every part of himself into his love. And Cas welcomed it, gladly. He could feel his Grace blending, cradling and slipping into Dean's soul. It was harmony, pure love. He stared up into the green lust filled eyes, needing nothing else to survive at that moment. But he would fight for it, above everything else. For Dean, their children and their love. He sank down and pulled Dean into another kiss. His passion met with equal passion.  
Nothing mattered. Existence could crumble around them and it wouldn't matter. The heat, the need seemed to course through them, that's what mattered. Now and forever. It permeated throughout their sweat slick skin, into their very core. The need just to have each other, safe from the world outside, drove their desire to new levels.  
Cas's arm wrapped around Dean's neck to pull himself down on top of him, burying his face in his neck. Dean, in turned, hugged him as close as he possibly could. The two enveloped into each other. Their senses overwhelmed and their pleasure creeping higher and higher with each thrust. They held one another, like rocks weathering a storm. Neither wanting to let go, for fear the other might disappear. The ultimate need to become one being drove them into a rapture of supreme love.  
Seemingly in perfect union, climax ripped through their bodies. They clung tighter, pushing closer into the others mouth. Names drew out in ragged breaths, tender touches along sensitive skin. Cas's wings draped down over top of them. Pulses crept throughout feathers and skin, aching to prolong the bliss soaring within them.  
Cas withdrew himself, feeling the constraint of his own skin again. He collapsed beside his lover, needing the radiant heat and comfort of the man. He rested his head on the pillow near Dean. Dean had used what little energy he had left to turn himself to face the angel. His hand absentmindedly came to rest on his pregnant belly between them. He drew designs and circles against the taut skin. But when he glanced up to see the gleaming post orgasmic face of his angel, he instead saw a tears steam out of the corner of his tired eyes.  
“What?” He pulled Cas's chin to look him the eyes. He was scared that maybe that he had hurt him in their lovemaking, maybe overwhelmed him and pushed him to a limit that he shouldn't have. None of that he ever wanted to do.  
“I'm so sorry Dean.” Another tear escaped as he closed his eyes. He tried to turn away, roll over and not burden Dean with his sadness. Not after the expression of love that they just engaged in. But Dean wasn't having any of that. He pulled Cas's face back over to him, finding it wetted from more tears.  
“For what?”  
“For ever hurting you. For breaking your trust. For going behind your back. I regret it everyday, Dean. You are everything to me and the thought of never having you beside me breaks me to my very Grace. I'm sorry I left you in Purgatory. I didn't want to taint you. You deserve so much better then me and I deserve punishment for my crimes. But the worst punishment wasn't the monsters or the constant battle for survival. It was not having you near me.  
“I don't know if you'll ever truly forgive me for what I've done. But I know that ever since I was freed I have wanted nothing but to make it right and better for you, and now for our children. You love me and I don't understand why, but I want nothing else. Not heaven, not the Host, nothing. Just having you in my arms, feeling your breath on my skin, seeing your unconditional love and trust in the thralls of passion. That's all I ever need to survive. I'm sorry for the things I've done. But I never want to loose you.”  
Cas laid there beside him. An angel of the Lord stripped bare. The words spoken hit Dean hard, but it was what wasn't said that made the most impact. The sorrow from a being who never felt that he was good enough and that he destroyed everything he touched, out of good intentions. The disappointment he felt at himself for not being able to fix all the problems he encountered and not giving his family the happiness and freedom that he had. The fear that no one could ever truly love him because of his mistakes. The hatred that he couldn't protect that which he held utterly precious to him and in the process of protecting, had hurt the one being in all of creation that he loved dearly.  
Dean felt it all because the same emotions and thoughts ran thick through himself. Despite everything, that was one solid reason they were so good together. They understood each other, more than anyone else in existence could. They helped to mend and fix each other, while being the outside support they needed to continue on. He looked deep into the rapt blue eyes, which almost begged for Dean to take away all of his pain.  
He pulled him in close, so Cas's head rested on his chest, and wrapped him tightly in his arms. An act of complete protection, when he felt Cas begin to softly cry into his chest. Tighter he wrapped him in an embrace as Castiel crumbled against him. He kissed him lightly atop of his black trusses. The pain emitted from the broken angel ripped straight into his soul and the only thing he could do was to hold on to him, reassuring him he wasn't going anywhere.  
“Castiel.” The angel looked at him with bloodshot eyes laced with heartache. The Winchester place a long, loving kiss to his swollen lips. “I forgave you a long time ago. I'm not going anywhere. I love you and don't you dare forget that.”  
Cas nodded and laid his head back down. He chased after the heartbeat that threaded so heavily in his ear. The persistent, never ending rhythm coupled with Dean's warmth that brought him grounding sense of serenity. He calmed his own breathing and closed his own eyes. The top wing, which lay sprawled across the edge of the bed, came to stretch over top of them and blanketed them in shining black feathers.  
“Thank you Dean,” His voice shaking as it cut through the silence; “Thank you for showing me what pure love is.” Dean kissed his head again with a small grin on his face.  
“You're welcome. I would give you the world if you asked. Just remember that. Anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcomed. Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter we get to see how Dean reacts to some interesting news from Sam.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has a heart to heart with Amelia and Dean is telling tall tales. And Cas thought the worst part was being pregnant.

Sam had spent some time with Amelia before heading back to the bunker. He figured that he deserved some personal time away from the couple. Plus he knew that the two lovebirds desperately needed some together time before the babies were born. In their time, Amelia and Sam discussed at length about the reason why Sam wasn't there to meet her in the motel that day, the things he does everyday and the way she felt about it.   
He told her about all the demons and monsters that society had told her were make believe, about the truth of angels and about the people like himself and Dean that help to keep the world in a messed up balance. Surprisingly, she seemed to be at ease about it. She was hesitant at first, thinking he might be a little off the deep end. But, when she realized was that Sam was totally serious with what he was saying, she gritted her teeth and grounded herself in the reality of it.   
It was decided that, after taking care of a few personal things, Amelia wanted to join Sam in this life. He warned her about the seriousness of the job and the high possibility that there may come a time he may not come back. But she just smiled and said that she understood and she was willing to take the bad with the good.   
After a long and tiresome drive back to Kansas, Sam pulled Amelia's car into the garage of the bunker. There was no welcome party, although Sam had pretty much figured there wouldn't be. Dean wasn't the greeting type and he was prone to forget things easily; and Cas was probably busy doing baby things.   
Inside, Cas was sitting at one of the long tables in the entry way, a few books scattered in front of him. He pinched the bridge of his nose and wondered where the closest mug was that he could pitch at his irritating mate. Dean, who didn't seem to care about anything other then the mission at present, emerged from the bathroom and way met with a look of death from Cas.   
“There is nothing in here or any of these about Bigfoot, Dean.” He huffed out a sigh of exhaustion. The night was a rough one. He was up peeing a lot, when he wasn't raiding the fridge, or trying to push whichever child had their elbow planted squarely in either his diaphragm or his kidney. So, needless to say, today he was tired, aching, and had not the energy nor the patience to deal with Dean's crap today.   
“Look, dude, I know what I saw. It was right there in front of me.” Dean raised his arms and motioned like he was bigger and wider, marching towards him. Cas rubbed the bridge of his nose again, shaking his head. He loved Dean and sometimes this was cute, but right then he wished he could just wave him off to like Australia or maybe the moon.  
“Dean there has never been any sightings of Bigfoot anywhere in the Midwest. And even if there was, it would be lies. My father never made such a creature; it's all made up stories and folktales.”   
“Hunting Sasquatch?” Sam peeked around the corner, surprising both men. He told Amelia to hang back, just in case. He accidentally walked in on Dean and Cas before and he wanted to save her that horror. “I thought Cas wasn't supposed to be hunting?” He leaned against the door frame and took stock of the two.   
“Hello, Sam. Welcome back and I'm not hunting. I'm listening to your brother delight me in his tall tales,” He snapped in Dean's direction.   
“It's not a tall tale, damn it! I saw the damn thing while I was out on a hunt.”   
“Hunt?” Sam hadn't mentioned to his brother that he was bring Amelia back with him. He really wasn't comfortable with the idea of bringing her straight into the fold with the muck and blood of a case surrounding her.   
“Yeah, Benny turned me on to a possible changling up in Nebraska. Wanna join?” He smiled as he raised his beer up to his lips. Sam wasn't keen on Benny and Dean knew it. But the tip was good and he couldn't just throw it out because it was Benny that conveyed it.  
“I would but,” He paused and shoved his hands into his pockets and looked over his shoulder; “you can come in now.” Amelia looking bewildered at the environment around her, stepped around the corner and raised her hand in greeting. “Guys, this is Amelia.”  
“Oh great, someone else to feed and take care of. Damn it,” Cas snarled at the new arrival.   
“Cas, Jesus!” Dean scolded.   
“I'm sorry. Honestly.” He truly was. The mood swings were particularly awful lately; pairing that with the constant peeing, the never ending aches, and the ever changing ebb and flow of either being insistently aroused or famishly hungry, his people skills were pretty much gone. He stood up, bracing his back against the weight of his six month heavy belly. “ Welcome. I'm Castiel.”   
“You're.. you're an angel?” She asked seeing Cas's enveloping black wings. Without doing it consciously, Cas opened his wings, filling much of the space around him. She wasn't sure which she was more god-smacked at, the fact that there was an actual angel standing before her or that said angel was male and appeared to be pregnant.   
“Yeah, remember,” Sam said as he placed his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to help ground her. “I told you about Cas.” It hadn't dawned on him until then that he hadn't mentioned that Cas was pregnant.  
“Oh, I remember,” she said with a smile. She could listen to all the storied that Sam told, but to have evidence of said stories right in front of her made everything terrifyingly real. She tried to level her breathing out to adjust herself. “Nice to meet you Castiel, Cas,” she said with a smile.   
“I'm Dean,” he waved at her; “by the way. Sam, I need to talk to you. Alone.” He grabbed his arm and lead him into an adjoining room. Sam could tell by Dean's tone that he wasn't exactly happy about this new development.   
“I'm sorry for the comment that I made before,” Cas said, breaking the silence that hung in the air. “I haven't slept soundly and I'm a little on edge because of the babies.” He rubbed his belly in an attempt to settle the little lives inside.   
“Forgive my bluntness, how are you pregnant? And a man?” She really wasn't meaning for it to sound offensive, but all of this was very overwhelming and she really didn't have control on her PC button. Cas's wings shifted behind him, showing his mild agitation at the question. But then he realized that she was new to this life and he shouldn't be offended. “  
Amelia, angels have to take vessels when we come to Earth. This vessel is male, my true form lacks sexual definition. We can be either male or female and carry children. It depends on the bonded pair which will become pregnant.”   
“Bonded pair?”  
“A bonded pair is the equivalent to a married couple in humans. They are a mating pair. However, the emotions and connection is much more intense and longer lasting. Dean and I are a bonded pair.” Before she could say anything, Sam reappeared in the room. He walked to her side and gently placed his hand in the small of her back.   
“So, do you want to see the rest of the place?” He was always good at reading people and he knew that she needed some separation from everything before the next wave of weird hit her.   
“Yeah, uh, sure. That sounds good.” She seemed to shake that perplexed look from her face. “Lead the way Sam.” She motioned for Sam to take the lead. Cas watched as the two left when a disorientating feeling washed over him. His head spun and he felt dizzy. Dean entered to see Cas sitting back down.  
“I can't believe how stupid my pig-headed brother can be sometimes.” He ran his hand over his face. “Your brother had a right to be happy, Dean. Just like you do.” Cas's tone was snippy and he meant it to be. He didn't tell Dean that this whole Amelia thing was his idea, and he wasn't about to tell him. It wasn't any of his business. Besides, he needed to realize that Sam was a grown man and he needed to life his life outside of the 'little brother' moniker.  
“I know that genius. But, dude, bringing her here is like a thousand bad ideas rolled up into one.” He began pacing, mostly out of something to do then out of anger.  
“Did Sam test her?” Cas asked, rubbing the back of his neck.  
“Sure. At least he said he did.”   
“Then quit worrying about it. Besides, if she was a monster of any shape or form, she wouldn't have been able to come inside.”  
“I never thought about it. Huh.” Dean stopped pacing and his whole demeanor relaxed a bit. He bent down and kissed his exhausted lover. “You just think of everything, don't you Big Bird?” He smiled and Cas returned it. But the wholesome moment was cut short when Cas doubled over in pain. His wings shuttered with pain and instinctively wrapped around him. His hands went to his belly in an attempt to shield his children from the pain.   
“You okay?” Dean asked. His protective instincts were going haywire. Cas was in trouble and he had to fix it. “Cas?”  
“Dean, I'm alright.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He could feel the babies move uneasily against his hands. “But I believe we need to see that doctor again.”   
“Absolutely. Let's go.” He stood and helped Cas to his feet. They made their way out to the garage with Dean shouting for Sam the whole time. He came running out to meet him and Cas.   
“Dean, what's going on?” Sam saw his brother's alert and worried body language and Cas slumped, disoriented walk. He knew something was definitely wrong. “You okay?” He ran over to help Dean with Cas.   
“We have to get to the doctor. I'm gonna call him in the car.” The brothers maneuvered the wincing angel in the car. His hands were trembling and his breath was shortened. This was the first time they had ever actually seen Cas truly scared and that pissed Dean off to no end. Someone he loved was scared and in pain and he couldn't do anything to fix it.   
“Be careful Dean,” Sam warned as he closed the Impala's door. He knew that Dean wasn't in his right frame of mind right then and that was understandable. But he still needed to ground himself enough to get him and Cas there safe. If he didn't, they may be bound for a ditch or tree rather than the doctor.   
“I'll call on the way back.” With that Dean sped out of the garage. Tires squealed as they hit pavement. Sam watched them disappear from view with Amelia behind him. She tuck her arm around him in a gesture of comfort. It was obvious that Sam was nervous and worried and she could at least do what little she could to make him feel better.   
“Sam, it'll be okay.” She hadn't fully accepted everything that was happening, but she accepted the vibes she sensed from the three men. It was obvious that they all cared deeply about each other. “Cone on, let's go back inside. You still have to finish showing me around.” She tugged his arm to get his attention.   
“Yeah,” he said, not completely peeling his eyes from the open garage door. Finally, the reality that there was nothing there for him to keep an eye on hit him and he let her lead him back in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcome. Always enjoyed and appreciated.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is in trouble Can Dean figure out how to fix it?

The nine hours it took them to get there the last time was almost cut in half by Dean's knowledge of back roads and short cuts, not to mention him driving like a bat out of hell. Cas kept trying to caution him to slow down but Dean just huffed at the suggestion and asked how he was doing.  
The pain kept a slow and steady ache the whole trip. It felt like it was burrowing a hole right through him. He would go through periods of lightheadedness and reclined the seat so that he could lay flat to counteract it. His back would cramp, then his hips would ache. He simply resigned himself to the idea of his body just rebelling against him. He began to zone, trusting that Dean wasn't going to run them into something and tried to meditate his way through the pain.   
As he lay there, eyes closed and drifting somewhere between physical and astral, he began to pick up on Dean's internal monolog. He was praying. Not to him, but to god. He seemed to be asking, more like begging, for Cas to be okay and for the babies to be safe and everyone to be healthy. He must have thought that with Cas's transference into humanity that he wouldn't be able to hear him praying. It brought both pain and joy to the angel.  
Time slipped until they were pulling into the back alley of the Chinese grocer. Night had fallen, which was a good thing. It was a good cover to hide Cas's wings. Right then, the last thing they needed was to deal with a normal screaming 'angel' for the whole neighborhood to hear. But the darkness wasn't enough. Which is why when they got their, Robert appeared at the backdoor with a blanket to drape over the exposed limbs. Dean had called while they were on the road, informing him of their arrival. He had been slightly argumentative about it, but Dean informed him that if he didn't help, he'd run a demon up his ass. Needless to say, Robert was quick to say yes.   
The trio got up to Robert's apartment, where Cas quickly shrugged off the blanket and opened his wings. They were stiff and sore from the confines of the car ride and he just wanted one part of his body not to hurt. Robert was taken back by the display. He absentmindedly stumbled forward to try and touch one of them but Cas was quick to turn and flare the limbs in anger. They were both impressive and intimidating at the same time.   
“Do NOT touch those.” He almost snarled at the doctor. Dean moved to intercept the minute he picked up on Cas's tone. Cas carefully tucked his wings behind them and out of reach. Pulling Cas into him, he gave him a small kiss in an attempt to show Cas he was there and to relax a bit.   
“I, uh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cross a line.” The doctor looked sheepishly at the floor. “I've just never seen anything like them.”   
“It's alright, but an angel's wings are sensitive and private things.” Another strong shot of pain ripped through his body causing his legs to weaken. He reached out to grab hold of Dean before he could hit the floor. His legs wouldn't hold him, his body was surging with pain, and he was terrified.   
“Doc, you wanna do your job and fix this!?!” Dean was practically screaming at the doctor. It was pure agony watching Cas writhe in pain and not being able to stop it.   
“Yes.” Robert rushed to help the angel to the examination table. Each step drew a sharp and ragged breath from him and, when the babies pushed hard on his pelvis, a pained shout tore from his throat. Neither of them had settled down since this whole thing started. The door to the apartment opened and a woman in her late forties entered. She was winded as though she had been running from wherever.   
The door slammed the door behind her as she stopped dead in her tracks, seeing the image of Cas before her.   
“Evelyn, thank god.” Robert motioned for her to come join him at by the table.  
“Who the hell is this!?” Dean yelled. The prospect of another person being involved with this only added to to complicate matters.   
“Dean, this is Evelyn Patricks. When you said that you were coming in, I called her to help. She was an obstetrician a while back. I figured that she would be better for this then I would.”  
Cas felt one of the babies kick his kidney and sent a new pang of pain radiating through his body. His eyes closed as he tried to deal with it. Each and every time that one of them moved in anyway, a renewed wave of pain radiated over his already racked body. However well he tried to hide it, his face was contorting into new configurations and reflected itself on Dean.   
“Okay, sweetie, now you need to look at me.” The angel's eyes open and flashed back at the woman. He could see the genuine concern on her face and that gave him a tiny piece of mind, which lead to Dean calming down enough to give her a bit more leash with Cas. “Now, you gotta tell me what's going on? “  
"The children have not been calm for the last day or so and there is a persisting and agonizing pain ravaging me.” Dean looked at the weathered angel and then an idea slipped into his brain. He began gently stroking a few of the outer primary and a few of the secondary feathers. He reasoned that perhaps a soft movement and the warm touch might bring a bit more calm to him. It would at least reassure him that Dean was right there for him.   
“Alright. I would say you are probably experiencing what are know as Braxton Hicks contractions. False labor. Though that's more a guess then an actual diagnoses. Not sure how it would work in a man.” She smiled as she helped lay Cas back against the table. Dean took point with trying to maneuver his wings around so he could lay as comfortably as possible. He was more then attentive to make sure that no one else interfered or handled the delicate appendages.   
Evelyn pulled the fabric on his shirt up and placed her hands gently against the enlarged belly. Her gaze narrowed as she focused on the movement under her hands. Dean was holding Cas's hand, while his other was busy stroking the silken black secondary feather. The two sensations combined to steady the angel's breathing; in fact, his whole demeanor reflected his relaxing state.   
“Well, I think I was right. But whatever you're doing over there son, seems to be helping. From what I can feel on preggers here, the babies are calming down and the contractions are bottoming out. Nice thinking there, Winchester.” She reached across the table and gave Dean a praising, yet painful smack to his shoulder.   
“Wait, did you tell her who we are?” Dean shot daggers towards Robert with bite in his voice. It was bad enough his lover was in pain, but now there was yet another person privy to the knowledge of his pregnancy. Not only that, but it was someone Dean didn't know and could potentially be dangerous. That was enough to send the hunter's blood pressure sky high. Cas reached over and squeezed Dean's arm for his attention.   
“Dean, you need to calm down. I believe the children can sense your emotional state. I know I certianly can.” Dean only sighed at him. He was right and the last thing he wanted was to cause Cas any more pain.   
“Robert didn't tell me anything. I used to be a hunter way back, right after a wraith took out my whole family.” She rubbed the scar on the side of her neck. “And believe me, the names Winchester and Campbell are akin to the Greek heroes of old in the community.”   
“So, you know all about us?” Dean's eyes narrow, sizing her up a bit.   
“Of course. I still keep in contact with some of my old friends.” She lowered Cas's shirt back down over his distended bump. “How you feeling, Kid?” She patted his arm reassuringly.  
“Better. The pain has subsided.” He smiled at Dean, who returned it. The hunter brushed a particular spot on the wing he had in his hand and it made Cas laugh at the ticklish feeling it caused. “But I have to ask, why are you so calm around me? Everyone that I have ever come in contact with acts very different.”   
“Sweetie, you think you're the first angel I've seen? You're defiantly a beautiful one, but not the first. I will say you're the first pregnant one I've seen. Why don't we see how you're doing, huh?”  
She began her examination, while Dean never moved from his sentinel post. Cas's wings would stir momentarily from time to time, but Evelyn was mindful of the appendages and did her best not to brush against them. Dr. Robert took more of a secondary role and helped out where and when he could. When it was all over, Evelyn helped Cas up and off the table. He was shaky and tired from the whole affair, but he had Dean there to help and guide him.   
“Well sweetie, from what I can tell, you're looking good. The babies seem to be a little large, though. But that might be because I'm trying to measure them from the outside while they're squirming around. Just out of curiosity, how far along are you?”   
“About six months.” Cas answered hesitatingly. In the back of his mind, all he could think was that something was wrong. The illusion that everything was fine and dandy was now coming to a crashing halt at their feet, again.  
“Don't worry, honey. There's nothing wrong. You're abdominal measurements are coming in kinda high. It looks like you're closer to being eight months instead of six, even carrying twins. And all that means is that you'll probably end up delivering earlier then expected.”   
“But does that mean that the kids will be premature?”  
“Not necessarily. It's probably just because of the angelic grace.” Cas couldn't help at cocking his head at the mention of Grace. Evelyn smiled and patted him gently on the cheek. “Like I said, hun, not my first angel.” As she turned and began cleaning up the used medical clothes and other examination tools, a thought dawned on her. “By the way, how exactly are you planning on delivering? You're vessel isn't exactly packing the equipment needed for that.”  
“We thought that you would do that,” Dean said. He was trying to get Cas positioned on the couch so that he wasn't hurting. “You could do that whole, what's it called, C-section thing.”   
“Oh, no, honey.”   
“Uh, well,-” Both doctors argued about that assumption with the bewildered hunter.   
“Are you telling me that neither of you ass clowns are going to help him?” All of Dean's body language screamed he was preparing for a fight. His fists were clinched, his teeth ground, his shoulders forward. Evelyn marched right over to him and laid a burning slap right across Dean's left cheek. He was astonished that she would do that, defiantly catching him off guard, while trying to rub the sting out of his inflamed skin.   
“You, son, will not talk to me like that.” Damn if she didn't remind him of Ellen. “I've been around for a while and I will not be talked down to like some snot nosed kid. Now,” she exhaled loudly and adjusted herself; “the reason why we can't, not won't, can't is because neither of us know anything about major surgical procedures like that. Besides this,” she motioned towards Cas; “is entirely different than anything that we learned about in medical school. We honestly wouldn't know what to do, or even if it is safe. And I don't know about you, but I for one don't want to risk harm to either him or the children. So, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to find another way.”  
Dean looked towards the floor, blushing at his embarrassment from his words and actions. When he glanced towards Cas, he could see the exhaustion and aggravation written all over his face at this new junction. One way or another Dean was going to fix this problem.   
“I'm sorry. Thank you.” He extended his hand towards the doctors. “I'm just relieved that he's better.” He fished some cash out of his pants pocket and handed it to Evelyn. “You know, you remind me of someone.” He chuckled at the memory of Ellen. “Yeah, I get that all the time.” She shook her head, laughing at the generalization. “I'm not sure why.” She stepped over and helped Cas off the couch. “But seriously, medically I would say that you are still too early for delivery. If this happens again or you feel yourself getting too overly stressed, just have mouthy he-man over here do what he did before and try to relax. I would even go so far as to say to do that daily, just in case. You're doing well, Castiel.” Her hand rested ever so gently on the curve of his belly. “It's almost over and believe me, its all worth it in the end.” A reassuring smile brought the world wary angel a sense of peace.   
“I know.” He returned her smile. “Dean, can we please go home? I'm completely worn out and starving. Please.” He squeezed Dean's arm to emphasize his imperative.   
“Absolutely.” He took his hand and they said their thanks and goodbyes. They had to rush to the Impala, so nobody caught a glimpse of Cas's wings. After hitting an early morning breakfast joint, they made their way home.   
Cas painstakingly maneuvered his wings in the confined space so that he could find a comfortable position to sleep in. He ended up giving Dean a fat lip and damn near broke the rear view mirror, but it didn't take long before Dean could hear the soft snoring coming from the resting angel. He smiled at how peaceful he looked. It was sometimes easy to forget that he was a demon smiting, hell raising Warrior of god, despite the impressive back pieces. The picturesque peace was broken by a 8-bit rock ringtone vibrating out of his pocket.   
“Hello, Dean?” Sam's voice came through groggy and tired from the receiver.   
“Yeah, hey Sammy.”   
“How's Cas? Is everything okay?”   
“He's good, still knocked up.” He smirked at his own joke. “Anyways, yeah, the doctor said it was false labor. He's sleeping now and we're on our way home now.”   
“Well, that's great. So, it wasn't anything major?”   
“Nah. Hey Sammy, we may have the babies sooner then we thought.”  
“What? Why?” “Well, I guess an angel pregnancy is shorter than a human's. Cas's mojo is like miracle grow to the kids.”   
“So, that's a good thing? Right?”   
“I guess. Doc says they seem healthy.”   
“Okay.” Sam paused. He could always pick up on Dean's emotions, even if Dean wouldn't express them in any way, and he could sense the underlining fear lacing through his brother's voice. He knew just how scared Dean was about becoming a father. Their childhood wasn't the Norman Rockwell version that they should have had and neither wanted their children growing up like they did. They wanted to be better fathers then their own had been for them. “Dean, it will be alright.”   
“I know.” Dean clicked shut the phone and tossed it onto the dashboard. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, then shifted his attention over to his sleeping mate. “I hope so."  
A long primary feather lay just on the side of the stick shift. Dean's hand tenderly coaxed it onto his thigh. Turns out messaging Cas's feathers was a relaxing experience for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Kudos and comments welcomed. Next chapter a very disturbing realization is made.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demon tablet come and gone. And now to deal with some pretty hairy details.

Kevin surprised everyone when he abruptly called in one morning. He seemed wired and on edge; Dean could tell that he was excited about something. When he was finally able to get him calmed down enough to understand him, the news he had just about knocked him over. Kevin was able to deciphered the rest of the demon tablet and found a rather interesting section about closing the gates, something about trials. The brothers started to count chickens as Kevin explained about trials and an Enochian spell. That was until he got them to shut up enough to inform them about the last sacrifice; the life of the completer of the trials. Then the line went silent. Nobody was talking but an understanding was circling in the air. Everybody wanted the gates closed, they wanted to be over and done with demons forever. But with Sam's barely stable relationship with Amelia, Dean and Cas's unborn twins and Kevin's skittish nature and overbearing mother; no one was willing to sacrifice for it. Just something to push into the background, maybe something for another hunter if they wanted it. So, they moved on. They offered Kevin a chance to stay with them in the Bunker but he refused, thanking politely. He told them that now that he had finished the demon tablet he couldn't read it anymore. It was like the power just vanished one morning.   
So now he and his mother were going to just disappear, get as far away from hunting and hunters as they could. He thanked them for helping him, but told them to lose his number. He just wanted his old life back, no demons, no monsters, just normal. They agreed and said their goodbyes.   
The two couples actually seemed to make great roommates. Amelia was a great cook and was always happy to help or cook when Dean didn't. It also was a great relief to Dean that Cas wasn't on his own when the brothers went hunting. And when they did go out, Cas and Amelia would spend a lot of time talking. The topics tended to range from angels and monsters to the issues the couples were having. Cas even mentioned his useless feeling now that he wasn't able to heal, nor was he able to do much of anything else with the pregnancy. But Amelia was quick to snap him out of that, assuring him that Dean didn't keep him around to be the fuck buddy slash nanny. That feeling was something that came normal with pregnancy and that he needed to just ignore it. The times that Sam and Dean were at the Bunker were spent in a few movie night and story exchanges. In one of these nights, Cas decided that they needed to discuss the delivery of the children.  
“What are we going to do?” He squeezed Dean's hand tightly and Dean could feel the anxiety that he had on the matter. He returned the gesture to confirm that he shared his anxiety.  
“What?” Sam furrowed his brow in confusion at the question.   
“The doc posed an interesting question. Well, Cas isn't designed for this.” He made a crude motion of pushing something out of him. “He's going to have a little problem giving birth.”   
“Ah. Why doesn't Robert just do a c-section?”  
“Oh, cause I never thought of that.” Dean rolled his eyes sarcastically, ribbing his brother playfully. “Apparently, he nor Evelyn will do it.” He took a swig out of his beer. “And I don't want to risk their healths with a botched surgery.”  
“So, what do we do?” “Yeah, dude, that's the six million dollar question.”   
“Wouldn't the twins be nephilium?” Amelia asked. She was raised Catholic and knew a fair amount about angel lore.   
“Yes and no.” The original nephilium were born of human women, not angels. They didn't have any grace, but they did have powers. Those powers were what drove them into insanity. Our children will be different.” Cas ran his hands over his bulging belly, which now peeked out from under his t-shirt.   
“What I mean is, if the nephilium were real, than the angels who fathered them were real. Why not ask them for help? They have to know something.” She snuggled further into Sam's arm.  
“The angel's that fathered the nephilium were destroyed in the flood of Noah, along with their insane children.” He paused in thought for a moment. “But the leader of the group is still alive.” “So how do we get a hold of him?” Dean was slightly excited at the prospect of a solution to their problem.  
“I don't know.”   
“I do.” The two couples turned to see Sariel standing in the doorway. Cas was momentarily unsettled, reflected back out through his expanding wings and ruffled feathers, until he say and felt who it was. “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.”   
“No, its alright.” Cas's wings relaxed as he tried to get up to greet her, but was unable to without Dean's help. He waddled over and gave her an awkward hug. “When I said you were welcome, I meant it.”   
“Castiel, you are large.” Her hand pressed against the protruding point of his belly button. “I feel two incomparably strong graces in there, two healthy children.” She smiled at him. “It is good to see you.”  
“And you.” She helped him back to his seat on the bed next to Dean. “I apologize. Amelia, this is Sariel.”   
“Ah, Sariel, the retriever of souls.” Amelia had become accustomed to some of the weird that surrounded the Winchesters by now. She extended her hand in a statement of welcome. Sariel was unsure as to what that meant so she extended her hand in the same way. Cas chuckled at the spectacle.   
“She's still young to humanity's ways.” Amelia pulled her hand away and just smiled instead.  
“So, where is this brainiac behind the nephilium?” Dean asked, trying to get back to topic.  
“Samyaza.” The name rolled off of her tongue with a touch of disdain and a sting in her voice. “ Samyaza was a shame to all angels. God punished the other angels involved in his reckless plan to death in the flood. But for Samyaza, that was too easy.” Her eyes shifted to the floor, as though she was remembering. “God allowed him to keep his grace, but sent him to Hell. Even his punishment of Lucifer was merciful. The Cage is brutal, but what Samyaza was punished to was so much worse.”  
Both of the brothers shivered over the talk of Hell and the Cage. Their histories with both were something they wanted to never speak about again. Cas knew how it made Dean and Sam both uncomfortable on the topic. He wrapped his left wing down around Dean and laid it on his lap, trying to show him that he was safe. For Sam it was a gentle hand on his shoulder to console him and let him know Cas cared about him too.   
“Sariel, how do you know any of this? I am older then you and I have never heard this information.” Cas wanted to make sure this was viable knowledge and not a wild goose chase. They couldn't afford one of those.  
“During the civil war, I and many others chose not to fight. We took shelter together and spent many hours discussing several different topics. A few of the older angels, ones older then you Castiel, chose not to fight and they were the ones who talked about Samyaza. They said it was a shame that the younger generations knew not of the blight on both humanity and angelic realm. Especially after the spectacle that god had made with his punishment. It was a definite warning to never to do it again.”   
“Alright, so he's in Hell. Can we summon him?” Sam asked.   
“No, its not that easy. When god punished him to Hell, he didn't just punish him to torture and torment. He sentenced him to be a new species.” There was an air of confusion, even from Cas, about that statement. “Samyaza is an angel, yes, but he suffers and feels pain like a human soul. And because of his grace and angelic nature, he will never die nor will he become a demon.”   
“Which means that because of the soul the spell won't recognize him as an angel,” Cas chimed.   
“Exactly.”   
“So, we need to go through Hell.” Sam looked uneasily at Dean. “Which means Crowley.”  
“Oh yeah, cause that dick's gonna be of any help.” Dean was tired of every time they had a plan, something popped up to fuck it all up.  
“I'm thinking maybe he will.” Sam sat forward, resting his elbows on top of his knees. “Remember that demon we ganked out in Illinois?” “Yeah, what about it?”  
“Well, I remember him saying something about a growing faction in Hell. One upheld by a Knight. And I think it means one of the Knights of Hell.”   
“Abaddon.” Dean cut in.   
“Yeah. Crowley wants to keep his cushy life as King of Hell. So if we give him Abaddon, in her weakened form, it should be enough of an incentive for his help.”   
“Sam Winchester, you never seem to stop amazing me,” Sariel said with a sweet smile. Sam blushed at the complement. It wasn't something that he was used to getting.   
“Uh, thanks.”   
“You're welcome.”   
“Not be be a buzzkill, but if god was so hard up on punishing Samyaza, making a big spectacle in threatening other angels not to do the same and in destroying the nephilium, then what is going to happen when these children are born?” Amelia knew that that question was hanging in the air, she just put it into words. The silence that surrounded them was stinging and uncomfortable. Dean could feel his heartbeat quicken and an instinct to protect surged through him.   
“I will gank any son of a bitch that comes after my kids. Even if that means god himself,” Dean said, with a protective and defensive resonance in his voice. His arm slide around Cas's waist and pulled him closer.   
Cas smiled at his hunter. But, despite Dean's attempt to show him he was protected, it didn't calm him down any. Cas knew the wrath of Heaven and even without the Archs and Micheal's rigorous structure, there was still a good possibility that someone could still very well be gunning for his offspring. That made his gut turn in anger and fear. A shiver chased his spine at the thought of his father's wrath coming after him and his happiness. His hand covered over his belly and his eyes scanned over every tiny inch, envisioning the two precious lives inside. No one was going to harm his children.   
“Castiel, I don't know what our father will do or not do. But I do know that I will help you no matter what.” Sariel laid her hand next to Cas's. She smiled, trying to place some piece of calm into him.   
“Thank you Sariel.”   
“And you've got us too, Cas.” Sam nodded at him and Dean. “Can't let anything happen to my nephews or nieces, can I? Or my favorite brother-in-law.” He gave him a stanch pat on the shoulder. “Sam, I am your only brother-in-law.”  
“I hate to run, but I have to leave. I have a somewhat needy charge. ” Sariel cut Sam or any witty retort that he was concocting. “But if you need me, just call. Always happy to help my big brother.” A caring smile crossed her face as she thought about what that meant to her. “And of course you Sam and Dean. Amelia, a pleasure to meet you.” A flutter of wings and she was gone.  
“You angels sure are fast.” Angel movements had become second nature to the brothers, so it was easy to forget how off putting it could be to see one then not see one.  
“Our speed is a great advantage. It comes in very useful in a fight,” Cas informed her.  
“So, let's go bag us a pricky King of Hell, shall we?” Dean stood up and went to walk away, when Cas raised the wing that had been draped over Dean's lap and pushed him back down onto the bed. Dean was both startled and ticked at the abrupt intrusion of his path.   
“Not tonight. It's late, I'm exhausted, and I am not going to bed alone.” Dean started to argue, but when he caught the gleam in Cas's eyes and his subtle hints, he shut up. He wasn't the only one, Sam caught it too and he was in no way going to sit around and watch.  
“Amelia, we should probably get out here. Before feathers start flying and we have to brain bleach ourselves.” He patted her leg to indicate her to start making it towards the door. “Just remember to keep it down, you two. There are other people who live here too.” Part of him was teasing, another part knew how loud they could be and wanted to spare Amelia that imagery.   
“I'll be sure to be extra loud, just for you Sammy.” Dean laughed when he saw his brother visibly shake and start making audible gagging noises as he closed the door.  
The next morning brought the alluring smell of a smorgasbord of delicious food. Dean helped Cas dress before they went and met Sam and Amelia in the dining room. It was Amelia who decided to cook and had everyone else served before they had the chance. They chatted about the discussion of the previous night and their feelings on the matter. The best course of action they could decide on was to capture Crowley in a devil's trap and grill him until he talked. They didn't want Crowley, or anyone demonic for that matter, knowing where the Bunker was. It didn't matter that it was warded, they could still attack the outside. Amelia would stay behind, while Sam, Dean, and Cas had a little chat with the swarmy dick. And the only reason why Cas was going was because Dean didn't want to let him out of his sight at this point in the game. There was too much that could go wrong either way but at least Dean and Sam would be there to protect him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcomed and appreciated.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to confront Crowley.

So they packed up the Impala and headed to an abandoned farm house about twenty-five minutes away. The car ride was uncomfortable to Sam to say the least. He sat in the back to give Cas the passenger seat, but was constantly being battered by his wings. Cas felt so bad for almost attacking his friend like that, but with the cramped conditions, it wasn't exactly easily avoided.   
When they got to the farm house, it took both brothers to help the rather large angel out of the car and inside. They drew out a devil's trap on the floor and set up an alter on a make shift table. For an added measure, Cas sat inside a ring of salt. Dean wasn't taking any chances. As the flame leapt out of the bowl on the table, the trio watched as Crowley made his entrance grandiosely in the trap.   
“Hello boys.” Crowley's eyes widened as they settled on Cas. “My, my, my. Somebody missed the 'no glove, no love' speech in health class. You look like you swallowed a planet.” A smirk crept across his devilish face. Cas spread his wings out in a defensive posture, while guarding his belly with both hands. His face was stone cold to Crowley's remark. “Alright mommy bird, no need to get your feathers in a ruffle. What can I do for you boys?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets.   
“Word upstairs is that you have an angel downstairs.” Crowley's arrogant expression changed to one of suspicion at Dean's words.  
“Oh you mean my lapdog. He is such a good little bitch.” His eyes drifted into space when a dirty chuckle came up from his throat.   
“Yeah, well,” Sam shifted uneasily at that. “We need him.”  
“And why would you need him? He's just a whimpering pup.”   
“Listen dickbag -” Dean began clinching his fists. “Dean,” Sam said, trying to calm his brother.   
“He can help us with an issue we're having.”   
“Let me guess, you got the bun in the oven and now you can't get it out. Cas's vessel, as delicious as it may be, isn't exactly built for that.” He winked at the salt bound angel. Cas had to admit, that last compliment had his skin crawl.   
“Yes, that is why we need Samyaza. He can help.” Cas reeked of irritation and it wasn't just because of the pregnancy. He wanted nothing more than to burn Crowley right out of his meat suit, but knew that wasn't going to happen. The thought of needing his help pissed him off to no end.   
“Well, I can possibly help with Samyaza, but what's in it for me?” Crowley asked, narrowing his gaze at Dean, who was flashing daggers with nothing but rage and a ferocity to protect his family.   
“Abaddon,” Sam said.  
“What on earth would make you think that I would want that pile of filth?” Crowley shifted. His provoked hostility towards her name was blatant in the sound of his voice and easily picked up by the other three.   
“Because you have defectors in your ranks. We know that ever since Abaddon's arrival, a faction in Hell is talking about an overthrow. And we have her on ice, so to speak. So help us with Samyaza, and we'll serve you up Abaddon on a silver plate.” Sam's bitch face was up a level, because he knew that if there was one thing Crowley loved, it was a deal. Especially one that was going to help stroke his ego. The three could see that the red-eyed demon was mulling it over. The silence, frankly, put Cas on edge. He knew that, while Crowley was considering the deal, he was also plotting of ways to screw the dealers.  
“Addendum,” Cas's voice cut through the silence; “we'll give you Abaddon in exchange for information from Samyaza and your solemn word neither you or any of your kind will come after my children. Ever.” The angel glared at the King. He knew that he would never re-nag on a once it was made.   
“Fine,” Crowley said as he clicked his tongue against his teeth. He knew that the beings in Cas's belly would be more powerful than anything on Heaven or Earth and the uses for something like that were limitless. But having Abaddon was so much juicier. “Shall we kiss on it?”   
“Just go get what we need.” Dean stepped between the angel and demon, protectively. Sam bent down and scrapped off a line of the devil's trap, enabling the demon's escape. When he was gone, Dean turned towards Cas. He could see that the angel was visibly aggravated by the demon's mannerisms.   
“You okay?” He ran his hand over Cas's wing, caressing the individual feathers in an attempt to calm him down. Cas's breathing began to slow as his wings dropped their defensive stance and returned to their prone position. “Yes.” He looked at the hunter.  
“I just know how he thinks and I don't want trade the safety of the babies for his help. I won't let them get hurt.”   
“I know what you mean. That prick rubs me in all the wrong ways.”   
“Well, that's no way to talk about your cheerful neighborhood friend. The King of Hell has feelings too.” Crowley appeared again with the same arrogant expression worn on his face. Cas's wings shot up again, except that this time they were violently shaking, not in fear but in rage. He knew that even without his powers and with the salt that Crowley still wouldn't try anything but it didn't help to ease his mind. “Easy there tree topper before you end up dropping your package.” Crowley smirked as his own joke.   
“You're not our friend. Now, do you have what we need or not?”   
“Keep your antlers on, moose.” He reached into his jacket breast pocket and pulled out what looked to be a piece of parchment. It appeared to be several millenia old, or maybe it was just like that because of its time in Hell. Dean reached forward and snatched it out of Crowley's hands. Despite the demon's strength, he did nothing to try and stop the hunter's provado.   
“What is all this chicken scratch?” Dean asked, his eyes narrowing and widening at an attempt to make out anything on the page.  
“It's Enochian,” Cas provided. “Why do you have a heavenly document?” Cas's blue eyes pierced through Crowley. He was always suspicious of the Hell spawn and each time something new came up, it only made him more suspicious.   
“When god gave the boot to old Samyaza, he sent that down with him. Apparently he was a stickler for record keeping and his highness didn't want any more of you cloud hopping monkeys to pull that stupidity again.” His eyes ran up and down Cas's form, who widened in a show of hostility towards his gaze. “Obviously that didn't work.” He snorted in derision.   
“So can you translate it?” Sam asked, ignoring Crowley.   
“Yes.” Cas studied the page momentarily. But when Cas's guise twisted into a look of frustration and exhaustion, Dean know that not just once in their lives could anything ever just be easy.   
“What now?”   
“According to this, we are going to need to acquire a few items for the ritual to work.”   
“Items? And I'm going to wager that these aren't the type of things you can just pick up from the corner drug store, right?” He ran his hand over his face, the cynicism weaving through his words giving a clue to the fed up feelings that all three had at this point.  
“No.”   
“Well, at least we know just how boned we are.” He sighed. “What does it say we need?”  
“Crocodile dung, tongue of the dog, bloody fingers, sheep's ear.”   
“That's disgusting. That sound's more like something a witch might have in her cauldron, then a recipe of an angelic birth.” Dean scrunched up his face at the imagery of the list.   
“Those are herbs, dumbass,” Crowley barked. Dean glared as the name calling, mentally adding it to the list of reasons to shiv the swarmy prick.   
“He's right Dean, “ Sam interjected. “That's black earth, hound's tongue, foxglove, and the leaves of a dandelion.”   
“Nerd. Well, that doesn't sound too bad. Any herb shop should have those and what we can't find there, we could find in a hunter's market. So, what's so hard about that?”   
“That's not the hard part. We also need a feather from the wing of a blasphemous angel, the blood of the crown head of flame and sorrow, and the death throw of the right hand of god.” Cas's face soured at that last item.  
“What the hell?”  
“The feather has to be from Samyaza. It was blasphemy for him and his to breed with humans. No offense.” Sam's attention turned to Cas. He knew that Cas would never think that Sam would find his family sinful or blasphemous, but it didn't stop him from putting it out there that he didn't.  
“I know Sam. I blasphemed long ago, and I'd do it again.” His words had a touch of warmth to them. It made Dean feel needed and loved, but he wasn't going to show it. Damn sure not in front of Crowley.  
“That was sickeningly sweet. Maybe I should leave you to your Hallmark moment.” Without the trap, Crowley could just vanish. And he was set to, when Sam grabbed the back of his jacket and through him back in the trap. “Oh, come on! What the Hell do you want? I upheld my end of the deal.” “That's true. But you're going to get that feather, then you'll get your build-a-demon.” Crowley smirked at him. He had to give it to the two, they weren't going to break the deal, but they knew just how to bend it a bit. It almost made him excited to deal with them. Almost. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a chard, downy gray feather.  
“Oh, you mean something like this?”   
“How did you know that we needed that?”   
“I do know how to read Enochian,” Crowley said as he pulled a bitch face worthy of Sam.  
“Right. So why isn't it black like yours?”   
“Different angels have different colored wings, Each color has a different meaning and ranking. Samyaza was originally a commander.”   
“Yes, you winged twits seem to have some sort of kink about those damn things.” The feather spun and twisted in between Crowley's fingers, while his face as distant with a wicked smile across it, as though he was remembering something.   
“Anyways. The next item is the blood of the crown of flame and sorrow. That has to be Hell.”   
“The king of Hell,” Cas said, staring at Crowley.   
“That's right love.” He winked at the angel.  
“Well Crowley, you can either bleed or I'll make you bleed.” Dean was clutching Ruby's knife in his fist as he advanced towards him. If it was blood they needed, then blood they shall have. One way or another. Crowley attempted to back away, only to be halted by the confines of the trap.   
“No.”  
“What the hell do you mean no?” Dean made it as far as the outer circle of the trap before he stopped. Dean may be rash and quick on the draw, but he wasn't an idiot.  
“I mean no. How hard is that for you to understand, you egg headed marmoset. My blood could be used for all kinds of nefarious purposes. I thought you would have understood after the whole debacle with the Leviathans.”   
“Then what?” Dean's blood pressure was rising again.   
“Sweeten the deal.”   
“The demon tablet,” Sam interrupted.   
“What?” Dean knew that the tablet was useless now that Kevin couldn't read it anymore. But Crowley didn't know that and the boys weren't about to tell him.   
“Yeah, he can have the demon tablet.” Crowley squinted. Why would they be willing to give up their most powerful weapon against Hell? It didn't make any sense. But, then again, they just might be stupid enough to. Either way, Crowley wanted that tablet and if they wanted to deal, fine, he would deal. “So, what do you say Crowley? Demon tablet for your blood? Sweet enough for you?”   
“Fine Bowinkle. Bring me the tablet, then you get my blood.”  
“That just leaves the last item. This 'death throw of the right hand of god'. What ever the hell that's suppose to be.”   
“You, idiot. It's talking about you.” Crowley was loving this. How many times could he have to insult them in one day? It was great.   
“What?” If Dean got one more crocked answer, he thinks his head might explode.   
“The Micheal's sword. It's talking about Micheal's vessel. You, Dean.” Cas gestured to him. He really wasn't thrilled about that.  
“Of course. Something like this would have needed both Heaven and Hell's assistance. God wanted to make it as impossible as it could be. My father was nothing if not efficient when it came to tying up loose ends.” Cas lowered his eyes to the ground as he lowered his voice. His father didn't want the new lives growing inside of him to live. That's why the ritual was damn near impossible to put together. If his father even cared any more.  
Dean could sense his sadness, his fear at the unknown situation they were embarking into. He didn't know anything about god personally, but he did know about the wrath of a father and it wasn't something that he wanted his children to have to endure. His hand went instinctively towards Cas's wings. He caught a handful of feathers, tenderly rubbing them in an attempt to calm and sooth. The two lovers exchanged glances of love and understanding.   
“Hey lovebirds, it isn't like I don't want to stick around and indulge in the hedonism that seems to be developing here, but I have a revolt to crush. You want to release me.” If it wasn't for the fact that they still needed him, that last comment would have been enough to drive Dean straight into that trap and Ruby's knife straight into Crowley's black heart.  
“We're going to go get your tablet, then you can have Abaddon.” Dean squatted down and scraped off the trap. “But you had better come when we call.”   
“Wouldn't miss it for the world squirrel.” Crowley flashed a devilish grin. “Make sure you send me an invitation to the baby shower.” A click of his fingers and he was gone.  
“I really do hate that guy,” Sam said, stowing his weapon. “How you doing over there Cas?”   
“I'm fine Sam. Dean, I just want to go home.” “Yeah, of course.” He helped him out and into the car. After getting wings and belly inside, the boys joined him and the Impala roared out of the driveway onto the road. The ride was quiet. Dean had one hand on the steering wheel and the other on Cas's feathers. But Cas didn't really even noticed. His gaze was focused out the window and his mind was lost in the confusion that ran rampant through his thoughts.   
When they returned to the Bunker, Cas retired to their room with Dean, while Sam spent his time with Amelia. He called Kevin to find out where he had hidden the tablet, then took to spending the rest of the night discussing the Men of Letters archive and the gems within.   
The following day, Sam went to collect the tablet and deliver it to Crowley. He was originally going to go alone, not knowing whether Dean could keep his cool long enough to do what needed to be done. Dean quickly nixed that idea. Sam wasn't going to go anywhere Crowley was without backup. Dean checked in on Cas before leaving. He was resting, which seemed to be all he was doing lately, and left him a note telling him where he went.   
Getting the King of Hell's blood wasn't as hard as what they had anticipated, even though he only managed to spare a few drops worth. He claimed that that was all they would need and the ritual would work. After they handed over the tablet, Crowley made it point to ask why they would do such a thing. Sam informed him that it really wasn't hard for them, especially since it was just a useless hunk of brick now that Kevin had lost the ability to read it. Crowley commended them on their under handed dealing, saying that he wishes that he could take credit for it. But what could he do? They didn't break the deal and he had already given them what they needed. However on the up, he did get Abaddon, so he couldn't say that he got completely screwed from it. After a few the exchange of a handful of sexually themed words from Crowley, well placed to get Dean's blood warm, the demon vanished and left them to their return trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcomed and appreciated. Next chapter we're all getting ready for babies.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has to deal with the ins and outs of baby prep.

Amelia took over getting any supplies that they still needed for the babies. Her sister had had two kids, so she had been through the whole baby thing before. Dean wasn't all to thrilled about going baby shopping. He claimed it was a woman thing. Dean tried to hide just how excited he was over the children, but Cas could see right through that. He finally bogarted Dean enough to go shopping with him and Amelia. But when they got to the store, the panic started to set into him.   
This was completely new territory to him, territory that he never thought that he would have to deal with. And even the little bit that he had learned from being with Lisa didn't help to make him feel like he had any idea of what he was doing. Both Cas and Amelia tried to give him pointers, but when Dean started acting like an ass, Amelia was quick to tell him that shopping for a baby was cake work compared to actually having the kid. That kinda shut him right up. But Dean got the joys of tinkering and setting up all of the nursery furniture, which he was more then happy to, so it all worked out.  
Meanwhile, Cas taught Sam how to read the Enochian ritual and how to do the spell work. Sam had always been a quick study and was truly honored to be able to do this for them. He didn't know what part, if any, he was going to be able to have in their birth. So this was just what he needed. Soon, everyone had an idea of what was going to happen and who was doing what.   
As the time ebbed closer, the brothers had quit hunting, all be it temporary. Dean had become an overbearing helper. He would fuss over everything and didn't want to let Cas out of his sight. If they didn't know anything different, one might think it was Dean that was having the babies. It drove Cas and Sam both crazy, until Cas finally snapped at Dean and got him to calm down. They both understood why he was acting that way, they had lost so much over their lives and what they had he would fiercely protect, but that didn't make it any less annoying.  
After any and all prep work that could be done was done, it became a waiting game. Amelia decided that she was going to get a job at the vet clinic in Lebanon. The cabin fever and not being able to help out was getting to her and she couldn't just wait around. Sam had gone with another hunter on an investigation nearby as a favor to Garth, while Dean had stayed back with Cas. The two needed some time alone, comforting each other and readying themselves for the change that was about to upend their entire lives. It was a welcomed imperative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcomed and appreciated.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its time! The babies are coming!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I'd like to thank everyone for their kudos and comments. They mean a lot. This story means a lot to me and I'm glad that it entertained others as well. I am probably going to do a sequel but it won't be for a little while. So if you're interested, stay tuned.

On a brisk late January afternoon, Cas was resting in their bedroom. He had been feeling particularly tired and achy that day. It was a bit out of normal, but Cas had assured Dean that it wasn't anything to worry about. Nevertheless, Dean wasn't going to leave and go any where. Cas could need him at any time. He told Cas he was going down to the garage to do some work on Baby and to holler if he needed anything at all. The atmosphere was calm and peaceful.   
Suddenly, he felt this sharp and gnawing pain rip through his body. It made him want to vomit. He closed his eyes and realized what was happening. The Grace that he had left was severing itself from the children's. It wasn't his physical body that was in pain, but his Grace.  
His wings began to convulse, flapping and spreading out. They finally contracted and wrapped around the angel protectively. He was trying to comfort himself when another volt of pain struck. It made his head spin and his muscles ache. He wasn't sure if the severing was even going to leave any of his own Grace left, if the pain was any indication.   
“Father,” he whispered as a tear streamed down his face. His eyes were welling up from the pain and begun to sting and burn. “Dean.” His arms went around his belly and he curled into a fetal position. “Dean!” The shout echoed down the hall as light bulbs flickered and quaked. His true voice was leaking through his cries and each time threatened to shatter any glass in the Bunker. Another tear rolled down his cheek when he heard running footsteps approaching.   
“Cas!” Dean appear in the doorway to find the angel cocooned in a shell of his own wings. Rushing to the bed, Dean began gingerly pulling back the feathers to get inside. Once inside, he took Cas's hand in his own and began running his hand through the sweat drenched raven locks on Cas's head. “Is it time?”  
“Yes,” Cas answered wincing, before curtailing into himself again. He dug his fingertips into his belly so had it left indents on the skin. “Dean, you have to call Sam. We need him here.”   
“Even if I call him, its gonna take him almost two hours to get here.”   
“Sariel!” A breeze and the sound of flapping wings and the angel appeared at Cas's side.   
“Brother, are you alright?” Her immediate concern was for her brother's condition.  
“You have to get Sam. He's in Russell, Kansas.” Another wave of pain washed over Cas as he began almost crushing Dean's hand in his own. But a silent screaming contorted face from Dean was enough to make Cas realize what he was doing and he let up on him. “Go, please sister.” She nodded and disappeared.   
“This will be over soon, Cas. I promise. I'll be right here. Just hang in there.” Cas nodded and winced again at another torrent of agony. His breath was staggered and strained, handling what it could on the onslaught of pain. His eyes closed tight enough that he was seeing spots of white dance across his lids and he forced back the tears that danced on his lashes. “Hey, hey look at me Cas.” The angel's strained eyes opened, revealing his bright and glowing eyes. Dean was momentarily stunned at the sight. He never dreamed Cas's eyes could get bluer, but now they were radiant. “Hey, we're going to get through this. You understand me? We've been through worse and, hey, we're going to get to meet those beautiful babies you've been cooking up in there. Our children, Cas. Yours and mine. You gotta be strong for me, for them.” He squeezed his hand harder and brushed the sweat from his brow. “I'm not going anywhere, no where.” A weak nod from the angel signaled his understanding. “And god himself can come at me and I'd kick his ass too. I won't let anything happen to any of you. You're my family.” They kissed as they felt the air move in a wind.   
“I'm here Dean.”  
“'Bout damn time. Come on Sammy, he's dying here.”   
“He's not dying,” Sam said as he disappeared. It was funny how Dean would always rib him about being girly; but when Dean was stressed, he would over exaggerate and freak out like mad. Sam chuckled to himself at that as he ran to grab the prep kit they had prepared. Sariel had knelt down on Cas's left side and began softly stroking through the feathers of his wing. She knew that if nothing else she could help to calm him through this. She soon felt and saw as another pulse of pain hit the weakened angel. The two tiny grace wrapped souls inside were emanating from within him and begged for release. Sam came running in, nearly colliding into the door casing and began preparing the alter quickly. His hands trembled as he rushed around. He could hear Cas moaning out of agony and that just propelled his nervousness.   
“Come on Sam! Hurry up!”   
“I can only go so fast Dean!”  
“Please, Dean, make it stop.,” Cas begged in a ragged pant. When one of the two final severances hit, Cas actually screamed. It was volumes more intense then any of the previous pains. His voice blew out every light in the Bunker and forced the Winchester's to cup their ears. His wings were flapping, though pinned underneath him, and causing broken lamps while scattering papers and ducking men.   
“It's alright brother. It's nearly over.” Sariel tried to reign in his dangerous wings so they could begin the ritual. It wasn't easy but she managed.   
“I'm ready Dean.” Sam looked at his brother, The man before him barely looked like his brother. The stoic soul who had faced monsters and demons his whole life, went head to head with Hell, Purgatory and the damn Apocalypse, and near so much as flinched. And now that same man was visibly scared. Try as he could to be calm and level headed for Cas, Sam could see that he was scared. “Are you?” “  
Do it, Sammy.” Dean swallowed hard and took in a deep breath. He was no way ready for this, but he didn't have a choice. Time to nut up or shut up. Sam began the ritual. He mixed together the ingredients, dumping Crowley's blood over top of Samyaza's feather. At the same time, Dean suddenly caught a strong sensation come over him. His whole body went ridged and it felt like he was being saturated in waves of ethereal power. Every cell light up brightly, much in the same way angels did when they displayed their dominance. The intense light was so bright it forced Sam to stop and shield himself from it. Sariel appeared in front of him, spreading out her wings, blocking out the light. The intensity of the light got stronger and Dean felt like he was going to explode from it.   
“Keep reading Sam,” Sariel ordered. He did and the room felt like it was vibrating. Dean stared at his hands, which were trembling in as much fear as power.   
“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Dean demanded. Cas didn't say a word, he just grabbed his hand and pushed it onto his belly. When his fingers touched the warmth of Cas's skin, an even brighter light pierced out from a tear that appeared in his skin. His hand easily slipped underneath the torn flesh, which caused the angel to scream in pain. Dean hesitated, he wanted to stop but that wasn't an option.   
So he pushed on. His hand went deeper until it brushed against a movement. He grabbed at the moving limb and when he caught it, he hoisted it up and out through the tear. Cas threw his head back into the tear and sweat stained pillow as his fingers dug into the mattress. The last of the Grace severance was worse than any torture even Hell could cook up. But Cas was strong. He had to be, he didn't have any choice.   
As the little body emerged, it radiated a soft yellow glow. It squirmed and finally screamed at the cold environment. The glow for the body gradually receded, leaving a soft, pink body accentuated by a petite set of downy wings on its back. Dean laid the infant in Cas's awaiting arms. The second newborn emerged quietly from its confines. It stretched in the new freedom, wriggling arms and legs. The miniscule wings twitched in what could be called excitement.  
Sam finished the ritual and the room enveloped in darkness. The radiating light disappeared but was replaced by the soft glow of artificial light from a collection of humming florescent bulbs. Sariel was able to fix and replace them.   
The little baby girl cuddled in Dean's arms had Cas's midnight black hair and Dean's bright green eyes. She was small and energetic, kicking and clinching her fist as she grasped at the air. Dean waved his finger at her and she grasped at it, wrapping her little fingers around it. His heart simply melted right there and then.   
“Castiel, are you alright?” Sariel had cased her wings out of sight again and was next to the bed tending to the exhausted angel. She grabbed one of the baby blankets from the end of the bed where Sam had thrown them in haste and handed it to him.   
“So much better now.” He wrapped the little boy in his arms. Electrifying blue eye and tiny tufts of blond hair stuck out from the pale green blanket. His cries were soothing down. When his tiny wings began to twitch like his sisters had, Cas tenderly began rubbing them to calm him down. Dean sat down beside his mate and Cas got to see his daughter for the first time.  
“Look at 'em Cas. They're beautiful.” He leaned over and kissed the angel. He looked down at the babe in Cas's arms. “I have a son. And a daughter. Wow.” He was completely starstruck. Cas just couldn't stop smiling.  
Seven months just wasn't enough. They're whole world had changed and this time it was for the better. They were why Dean strove to be a better person, what he wanted to protect from the world and the darkness, to teach and guide. He would not be like his father and push his children to the side for his own selfish agenda. That cold, calloused man was gone, softened by the chubby-faced cherub in his arms.  
“So, can I hold one of them?” Sam asked. He was anxious beyond all compare. He had never been around babies for an extended period of time but these two infants were his family. He was their uncle and he was going to be great at it.   
“Absolutely. They need to see how lame Uncle Sammy is, so dad seems cooler.” Dean laughed as he handed his daughter to her uncle. Sam just rolled his eyes and coddled the newborn against his chest. Dean handed his brother one of the pale yellow blankets, which he used to wrap around her and warm her. She was so tiny compared to him. When she began crying at the disruption from being handed around, Sam did his best to sooth and quiet her.  
“Be careful of her wings, Sam. An angel's wings are extremely sensitive and they can be easily injured.” Cas handed the boy to Sariel, who took him in earnest. He sat up and took a drink of water from the glass that he had on the bedside table. His body ached. His Grace ached. But none of that mattered. He had two beautiful children, so it was all worth it.  
The children's wings weren't black like Cas's. They were closer to a honey color, simmering hints of pearl and gold when the light reflected off them. They felt soft and downy, but any time they were touched they would tremble. Except when Cas would touch them with his own wing. Since angel's wings were tethered to their Graces, the touch of their father's familiar grace soothed and comforted them.   
“Why aren't they the same color as yours?” Dean asked as he settled in next to Cas. The fact that his children had wings was a new and foreign concept to him and it was taking a lot to wrap his brain around it. He knew that with them being half angel it was a possibility. But actually seeing it, that's a how different ball game. He tucked his arm around Cas's waist and pulled him towards  
him.  
“They will change color as the get older and their Grace matures. Their 'rightful place' will be decided. My place was as a warrior, therefore mine are black. Archangels were bright white and they had three pairs of wings, larger then any other angel. Cherubs are a tannish color and watchers have a blue tint to theirs.”   
“So, what does this color mean?” Sam asked, tickling the tiny feathers. The baby didn't approve of the touch and began fussing and crying. It spooked him so he handed her back to Dean. Cas stretched out his long primary feathers and intertwined them with the ruffled feathers of his offspring. This seemed to be enough for her, because she settled into Dean's arm and quieted down.   
“Since I have never seen this particular color before, I can only think it is exclusively theirs. But like I said, it will probably change with maturity.” He smiled at the little girl, who was currently staring at the faces of her fathers. Her brother had fallen asleep in his aunt's arms with Cas's feather in his hand.   
“Do you have names for them?” Sariel asked. The angel had become enamored and fascinated with the infant in her arms. She had always watched humans on Earth. But this was different. This was better.   
“Well, we were thinking Gabriel Robert for my boy.” Dean had actually come up with that one. It rang close for him.   
“Bobby would be honored at that.” The boys were suddenly saddened that Bobby wouldn't be able to share in that honor, but they knew that Bobby was watching them with a smile on his face and calling them idjits.  
“Yeah.” Dean smiled at the good memory.   
“But why Gabriel?” That kind of confused Sam.  
“Sam, it if wasn't for my brother's mischievous antics.” Cas ran his hand over the baby girl's head. “These two little miracles wouldn't be here.” Dean smirked at him. Gabriel was a pain in the ass, but Cas was right. Without his trick, Dean wouldn't have his family.   
“I guess you're right.” Sam began to clean up the room and the alter. “And what about your girl?”  
“I was thinking Mary Ambriel. And they would both be Winchesters, of course.” Dean looked at Cas and he could see the hunter's eyes light up at that idea. It meant a lot to him to give his daughter his mother's name.  
“Thank you.” He kissed Cas lovingly. “Ambriel?”   
“It means protection, one who protects. It seemed fitting. But, do you not like it?”   
“Are you kidding? I love it.” Dean kissed him again. “Sweety, I'm going to get the three of you something to eat. I know I could eat. I'll be right back.” He lovingly places Mary in Cas's arms.  
“Sweety?” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.   
“Shut up,” Dean snapped. He normally didn't go for the chick flick pet name, but it was a moment of weakness. Sam just laughed and followed his brother out.   
“Have you heard anything in Heaven about the children?” Castiel asked with worry and anxiety in his voice. Sariel still had her connection to angel radio, unlike Cas, and understood the fear he had.   
“Heaven's scared. These children are completely new and even though they don't know what they are capable of, they're still nervous.” She was disappointed in herself for having to relay bad news, She sat down on the bed beside her brother. She could see that Cas was mulling over something. “Castiel, you have do it. I know they're tiny, but if you don't Heaven will be able to track them. And who knows what they could cook up for them.”   
Cas was drawn. He knew that Sariel was right. Just because they were angels, didn't mean they were oblivious to torture. And if they were truly that afraid of the twins, they would come up with something particularly gruesome just for them. He just didn't want to hurt them.   
Begrudgingly, Cas leaned forward and laid his hand on his son's chest. Using what little Grace he had, he branded the Enochian sigils into his fragile ribs. The infant wailed in pain and pulled on Cas's feather in an attempt for attention to his problem. He immediately felt regret at his decision but he stomped it down because he had to do it to his sister.  
“I hear two kiddos in need of some food,” Dean proclaimed as he walked in on both infants screaming. He handed Cas one of the bottles, after he took Gabriel from Sariel and began feeding him. Sam had helped with the bottles, because Dean just couldn't get the hang of it yet. The screams and cries died down as the children settled into their meals. “See, dad knows how to cook. Huh, Gabe?”  
“Dean the babies weren't crying out of hunger. I had to brand their ribs.” He looked away, regretting his actions but knowing it had to be done.   
“Cas, damn it, why? Their children.” Dean's blood pressure rose. This was unbelievable and bordered on the realm of torture to Dean.   
“Because our children are hunted. Heaven is terrified of them, of the power they could possess. If they're found, the torture Heaven can concoct is far worse than the pain they endured from the branding. I did it to protect them.” The anguish Cas felt from it leaked through the revolution and Dean could tell it was real. He quelled his anger and simply swallowed it.   
“Okay,” he sighed. “Well, we know something was bound to happen from those winged dicks upstairs. But at least they're safe now, right?”   
“For now. I will try to keep any one from sniffing around, away. But I can't promise forever.” Her eyed down cast. “I'm sorry I can't do more.”   
“Sister, any help is useful and welcomed. Thank you.” Cas smiled reassuringly. Sam appeared at the door. He had made a trip to the nursery and brought back a pair of diapers and some clothing for the kids.   
“I thought you could use these for Mary and Gabe.” He handed them to Sariel. “I'm going to go get Amelia, let you have some time alone. You two enjoy the quiet. I'm sure its the last you're gonna have for awhile.” Sam smiled and disappeared from view.   
“I'm going to go as well.” Sariel laid the clothing on the bed next to Cas. “I will tell you if I hear anything new.   
“Thank you Sister. For everything.” Mary waved her hand, as if to say goodbye. “And Mary says thank you as well.” Sariel smiled at the gesture and, with a gust of wind, she was gone.   
“Well, now we're all alone.” Dean wiggled his eyebrow suggestively.  
“No.”  
“I'm kidding.” Gabriel had finished his bottle so Dean set about diapering and dressing him. Adjustments had to be made to allow for his wings, but he seemed rather pleased with a warm outfit and a full belly. Dean picked him up and propped him on his shoulder. He began patting and rubbing the tiny back, aware of his wings, to get a burp out of him. “So, what do we do now?”   
“I would like to sleep. My Grace is still weak, my body is wrecked, and I am exhausted.” Cas did the same dressing and burping with Mary.   
“I second that motion. That angelic mojo crap really takes it out of you.” He walked over and turned on his stereo, choosing which CD he wanted. When he chose, he popped it in. After turning out the lights, he climbed into bed beside his mate.   
Cas rolled onto his side, pulling both of his wings behind him. He wouldn't be able to case them again until his Grace healed itself. Besides he liked having them out, it was freeing. He draped one wing over top of them. They provided a feeling of security.   
They laid both of the infants between them on the mattress. They instinctively cuddled together, feeling protected by each others presence. Cas covered them with their blankets, then reached over and kissed Dean. A spectrum of emotions hung in the darkness. Comfort, love, the kindred feeling of everything just being right.   
“Dean.”  
“Yeah, Cas?”   
“If I had the choice to go back four years and make the decision all over again, I still would have fallen. For you. I still would have given up everything again. For you. So that I could be right here, right now with you and our two miraculous children. And no matter what happens, I will always choose you and them.” He kissed Dean. “I love you, Dean.” The hunter stared into the stunning blue eyes staring back at him.  
“I love you too, Castiel.” The family lay there together, enjoying the darkness and comfort of each other as Knocking on Heaven's Door by Guns and Roses came playing gently out of the stereo. A fitting tome to their life together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments welcomed. Thanks so much.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope that you like it. I'm going to try to get a chapter or two out every other day. I'm looking to see the type of feedback I get to see if I'm going to write a sequel. So any thoughts or ideas you have let me know. I'm very interested to hear.  
> Sorry its so short. Next chapter will be longer and smuttier.


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